Quinn, Season 3
by WildDogJJ
Summary: Life goes on for Quinn and her live in boyfriend, Jim. The young couple face life together in all of it's craziness. See them be tested in ways that are, as always, comically ironic. They learn that, like the song says, "Life is so Strange."
1. Chapter 1

**The Story so Far**

In the interest of making my "Quinn" spin off easier to follow I've decided to open each new season with a synopsis of the previous seasons.

 **Season 1**

This season covers Quinn's senior year at Lawndale High and was originally intended to be a one season mini series. It begins with all of the Former Fashion Club taking jobs

at Burger World. It all goes horribly wrong and ends when Tiffany accidentally burns the place down. Quinn soon finds a new extra-curricular: tutoring Kevin. While this is

going on Quinn and Jane bond over the fact that they both miss Daria and quickly become friends. Quinn is also still friends with Lindy and grows even more concerned about

her continued drinking. Daria is having a hard time adjusting to college life and things come to a head when she becomes convinced that Quinn is trying to steal Jane from

her. The sisters soon reconcile, however, and grow closer as a result. Stacy volunteers for the school paper and quickly becomes the Jane to Quinn's Daria. She also begins to

stand up to Sandi more often, creating tension in the Former Fashion Club. Quinn soon learns that for the past year Stacy has been secretly in an on and off relationship with

Upchuck. While this freaks Quinn out at first she soon gets over it and is supportive. By November the mounting tensions between Quinn and Sandi come to a head and the

two have an epic showdown in the school hall. This results in Sandi not only being on the outs with the Former Fashion Club but the popular kids in general. After this Jane

reveals to Quinn that she and Sandi had been friends in elementary school but in middle school Sandi fell in with the popular crowd and turned on Jane. By Christmas time we

are introduced to a new character: Helen's mother, Emma. Emma is a stuck up matriarch who is obsessed with status and has a habit of hitting people with her cane. After

the holiday Jane goes to BFAC. Quinn now becomes so concerned with Lindy's drinking that she stages an intervention. After this Lindy finally acknowledges that she has a

problem and gets help. Quinn is supportive every step of the way. Stacy comes into possession of evidence that Ms. Li has been embezzling school funds for years. Quinn

convinces Stacy to hand the evidence over to the authorities, which she does anonymously. Ms. Li is arrested and most of the school administration are fired. As the most

senior member of the faculty, Mr. DeMartino is appointed the new principal of Lawndale High. For spring break, Quinn and Stacy decide to take a road trip to Florida. Tiffany

can't come because she has to attend a family member's wedding and Sandi is on the outs with everyone, so they take Daria and Jane. While in Miami Jane has a one night

stand that goes horribly wrong, Daria runs into Tom and loses her virginity in a drunken hook up with him, Stacy and Upchuck have a hot tub encounter that is cut short by

his paying too much attention to the other girls there and Quinn gets so drunk that she makes a complete fool of herself in front of everyone. Soon, it's college admissions

time. Stacy is accepted at State U while Quinn waits to hear from Pepperhill and East Coast University. Quinn is accepted at ECU but, due to the recent scandals at Lawndale

High, is rejected by Pepperhill. At this point Sandi, humbled by months of loneliness, comes to the Former Fashion Club to beg for forgiveness. They are skeptical at first but

Quinn soon decides to give Sandi the benefit of the doubt and welcomes her back with open arms. Stacy and Tiffany follow suit. When Quinn graduates Stacy and Upchuck

publically come out as a couple. At the ceremony Quinn receives an award for academic improvement and philanthropy. She shares the spotlight with Daria.

 **Interlude**

During Quinn's college years she remains friends with Stacy while growing closer to both Daria and Jane. She also has her first serious boyfriend, a football player named

Trevor Anderson. Quinn majors in marketing and is a fine student. After her third year she moves out of the dorm. Daria and Jane, having finished college at this point, move

to New York City (where Quinn is attending ECU). Jane plans to break in to the New York art scene while Daria pursues a PhD in literature. Quinn, Daria and Jane share an

apartment in the city. As Quinn's college graduation approaches her relationship with Trevor starts to go downhill.

 **Season 2**

This season opens as Quinn is on the verge of graduating college. Her relationship with Trevor has deteriorated to the point where she is seriously considering breaking up

with him. Meanwhile, Upchuck asks Stacy to marry him and she says yes. After graduation they move back to Lawndale. When Trevor tries to pressure Quinn in to marrying

him she decides that it's over. She and Trevor break up but agree to remain friends. On July 4th Jake suffers another heart attack that nearly kills him. The Morgendorffer

sisters return to Lawndale and prepare for the worst. Jake survives but it will take him almost a year to fully recover. In the mean time someone has to fill in for him at

Morgendorffer Consulting. Quinn, with her marketing degree, volunteers as she is the most qualified. While in the process of moving back to Lawndale Quinn meets a young

man named Jim Carbone. After a few dates they become a steady couple. Quinn proves to be so good at her new job that Morgendorffer Consulting is soon a booming

business. Jim makes friends with Upchuck (who's now only known as Chuck) and Kevin, albeit grudgingly in the case of Kevin. Jim and Quinn soon fall in love. Quinn finds

Sandi working as a checkout girl at Food Lord and learns that after graduation Sandi came out as a bisexual and was disowned by her family for it. She also discovers that

Tiffany now works at Cashmans after a failed move to Hollywood. Quinn and Daria spend Thanksgiving at Grandma Emma's, where Quinn sees firsthand just how toxic Erin

and Brian's marriage is. She offers to help Erin out if she ever decides to leave him. After hearing the story of Jake and Helen's early years as a couple Quinn and Jim admit

to each other that they are in love. Erin eventually does file for divorce and comes to Quinn for help getting back on her feet. Quinn, whom has just been made Jake's

business partner, gives Erin a job at Morgendorffer Consulting, which has been renamed Morgendorffer and Daughter Consulting. Emma tries to force Erin and Brian back

together but eventually backs down in the face of opposition from not only Erin but also Quinn, Jim and Helen. After dating Quinn for a year Jim is offered a promotion that

requires him to move to Tokyo, Japan. He accepts the job and breaks up with Quinn, leaving her devastated. He soon regrets his decision, quits his new job and returns

to Lawndale. He and Quinn have a heartfelt reunion and move in together.

 **Season 3**

Season three opens with Jim looking for a new job while Jane asks Quinn to model for her. There's just one catch: Quinn will have to pose nude.


	2. Quinn's Skin

Opening Montage

 **Theme:** "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne

We see Quinn and Jim having a romantic dinner. Next, we see Quinn entertaining clients while Jake beams proudly. We then see Eric trying to boss Helen around, but Helen is having none of it. Cut to Stacy and Chuck holding hands while Sandi looks on enviously. Kevin and Brittany are making out in the girls locker room while Brittany is supposed to be coaching. Cut to Mr. DeMartino going totally beserk. Cut to Quinn having a girls night out with Stacy and Lindy. Montage ends with Quinn's smiling face in front of a pink background. Below that:

Quinn

in

"Quinn's Skin"

written by

WildDogJJ

It's morning in Lawndale and Quinn and Jim are at their apartment having breakfast. Quinn is eating Model Crunch while Jim is having eggs and bacon.

Quinn asked "How can you eat that junk and not gain weight?"

Jim said "It's easy when you spend an hour a day in the gym."

"But I do power yoga and cardio and still have to watch my weight."

"It's simple math. You work off the calories you take in. It's when you don't do that that you gain weight."

Quinn smiles.

"That is such a brain answer."

Jim smiles back.

"Not like you expected any different."

Quinn said "True. So, what are you gonna do today?"

Jim said "I have two job interviews today. One in the morning and one in the afternoon. Hopefully, I'll soon have a paycheck again."

"You can do it, Jim. I believe in you."

"Thanks, hon."

Quinn looks at her watch.

"I've gotta go. I'll see you this evening."

She walks up to Jim and kisses him on the forehead.

Quinn said "Bye, honey."

Jim said "Have a nice day, sweetheart."

* * *

At the New York City apartment she shares with Jane Daria is sitting on the couch reading a book while Jane is painting on a canvas. The canvas has a psychedlic patchwork of stars blending into a rural landscape. Jane has a frustrated look on her face as she groans. This gets Daria's attention, causing her to look up at Jane.

"Something wrong?"

Jane said "I need to come up with something for the upcoming art gala at the Met but everything I paint is just a variation on something I've already done."

Daria asked "And how is that a problem?"

Jane said "I want to wow the critics this year, but that won't happen if I display something that they've already seen me do. I need to become more diverse. Start showing some range instead of being a one trick pony."

At this point Jane seems to get an idea.

"Hey, Daria, remember that time I asked you to pose nude for one of my paintings?"

"Yes, and my answer is still no."

Jane said "Now, Daria, the human body is nothing to be ashamed of."

Daria said "And my human body is for the eyes of lovers and doctors only."

"Come on, I can't afford to pay someone. Who else would do me a favor for free?"

"Someone with great sex appeal and a massive ego."

Jane grins. She just thought of the perfect candidate.

* * *

 **Music:** "Bitches and Money" by Buckcherry

At an office building Jim is seated in front of the hiring manager, a balding man in his sixties.

The manager said "So, Mr. Carbone, what are you willing to contribute to this company?"

Jim said "Well, I am an intelligent and consumer friendly individual who has three years of experience in the financial sector. In that time I've developed a knack for helping people make wise financial decisions."

The manager looks at Jim's resume.

"It says here that you went to Vance University. How did you pay for it? It is one of the most expensive schools in the country."

Jim said "Full academic scholarship."

"And since then your only employer has been the brokerage firm Grace, Sloan and Page."

"That's correct."

The manager looks grim.

He said "I have to be honest, Mr. Carbone, while your education is perfect we'd prefer someone with more experience. If you had stayed at Grace, Sloan and Page longer you'd be a shoo-in. I'm afraid, however, that you were only there three years. From what I understand, you quit shortly after receiving a promotion. Why was that?"

Jim said "It caused me to move to Japan and break up with my girlfriend. I was so miserable that I quit and came back to the States...and got back with my girlfriend."

"That's not good. What we value here is loyalty to the company. A man who leaves a job for a loved one can hardly be called loyal."

Jim looks a little peeved.

"Actually, that shows loyalty to said loved one."

"We'd prefer an employee who puts the company first."

Now, Jim's pissed.

He said "I thought this was an investment bank, not the Mafia."

The manager's unimpressed.

* * *

That evening at their apartment Quinn and Jim are having dinner and talking about their days.

Quinn said "So, how'd the interviews go?"

Jim said "The morning interview wasn't too bad. They said they'd let me know in a few days. The afternoon one went south quickly. First, they were uncomfortable with my only having three years experience. Then, they asked why I left Grace, Sloan and Paige. I told them and was accused of being disloyal."

Quinn has a guilty look on her face.

"Jim, I'm sorry."

"What for? You didn't do anything."

Quinn said "I still feel like it's my fault. What if you were blacklisted because of me?"

Jim said "I don't think Tom's that vindictive. If it turns out he is and I was blacklisted, however, I have a trump card: girlfriend whose mother is a lawyer. I doubt I was blacklisted, though. I think I'm just unlucky."

"Don't worry, Jim. Tomorrow's another day."

The phone rings.

Quinn said "I'll get it."

She gets up and answers the phone. Jane is on the other end of the line.

"Hello."

"Hey, Quinn, it's Jane."

"Jane! How are you?"

Jane said "I'm alright. Listen, do you still have any desire to model?"

Quinn said "Not professionally. Why?"

Jane explained "I need to do a painting for an upcoming art expo. I want to do a life portrait. The problem is that Daria won't pose for it and I can't afford to pay someone. How would you like me to capture your beauty on a canvas?"

Quinn's eyes light up.

"You want me to model for one of your paintings?"

"Yep."

Quinn said "Of course I'll do it. Can I come up this weekend?"

Jane said "I'll be expecting you."

Excited, Quinn said "This is great. I get to model."

Jane looks a little guilty.

"There's just one more thing. You'll have to pose nude."

Quinn's jaw drops.

* * *

Quinn is very apprehensive about posing nude, even if it is a favor for a friend.

"I need to think about it."

Jane is hopeful.

"So, you'll do it?"

Quinn said "Maybe. Let me think about it and I'll call you back."

"Okay."

They hang up. Jim looks at Quinn.

"What was that about?"

Quinn said "Jane wants me to go up to New York this weekend and pose for one of her paintings."

Jim said "That's great. Why so apprehensive?"

"She wants me to pose nude."

"How is that a problem? After all, you have a great body."

Quinn said "She wants to display the painting at an art expo. People are going to see me naked."

Jim said "So? I've seen you naked and you look incredible."

"This is different. Complete strangers will know what I look like without clothes on."

"Quinn, your bikinis leave very little to the imagination. They only hide your pubic grooming style and the look of your nipples. Your body shape is on full display."

"Jim, you know how I am about overtly sexual stuff."

Jim said "It's just a painting of you without clothes on. It's not like she's asking you to do a porno."

Jim is suddenly thoughtful.

"She isn't, right?"

"No, I wouldn't be doing anything. I'd just be naked."

Jim said "It's your decision, but I fail to see a problem. Whatever you decide you have my full support."

Quinn looks relieved.

She said "It doesn't make you jealous, then? The idea that strangers will see me naked?"

Jim said "What they'll see is an image of what you look like naked, not the actual thing."

Quinn dials a number on her phone.

"Jane, I'm in."

* * *

Come Saturday Jane has set up her studio in the living room of her and Daria's apartment. There's an old fashioned red recliner and in front of that an easel with a blank canvas. Jane is waiting for Quinn to arrive. There's a knock on the door.

"Come in."

Quinn and Jim enter.

Jane said "You know, Jim, you didn't have to come along. Since you two are a live-in couple now I can assume you already see her naked on a regular basis."

Jim said "True, but she still has some misgivings about this."

Quinn added "I know it's inconvenient but I just feel more comfortable with him around."

Jane said "I understand. Anyway, there's a bathrobe in my room that you can change into. Daria will be busy with work and grad school until this evening so we have all day to do this."

"Wouldn't it be easier if I just strip now and we get started?"

Jane said "You've much to learn, young padawan. This isn't like posing for Playboy. There's no flash photography involved. This will likely take all day and you'll need to take breaks. I seriously doubt you want to spend all of that time completely naked. This is also why most nudes show the model in a reclining position."

Quinn seems to understand. A few minutes later and Quinn emerges from Jane's room in a bathrobe. She hands her clothes to Jim.

"Would you mind putting these someplace where they won't get dirty?"

"Not at all."

He takes Quinn's clothes and lays them out neatly over the back of the couch, which has been moved to a far corner of the room.

Jane "Okay, here's what I need you to do."

She walks over to the recliner and sprawls out on it. She folds her arms and places her hands behind her head while raising her left leg in a triangular position while he other leg remains prone.

Jane said "Just lay on this recliner and hold this pose as long as you can. Let me know when you need to take a break."

"Okay."

Quinn suddenly has another concern.

"Um, Jane, that's going to show a lot."

Jane gets up off of the recliner.

She said "Don't worry. I don't expect you to touch yourself or anything like that. If I'd wanted to do something pornographic I would've asked Daria to stick around so I could really push the envelope."

"Ewwwww!"

Jane smirks.

"Sorry, couldn't resist."

Jane walks over to the easel.

"Ready to make some art?"

"Yes."

Quinn starts to undo her bathrobe. She opens the robe and lets it drop to the floor. (Sorry I'm not more descriptive, but I'm trying to keep it PG-13.)

Jane said "No wonder every guy who meets you is an instant slave to your every whim."

Quinn walks to the recliner. Jane and Jim watch Quinn assume the pose.

* * *

 **Music:** "Beautiful" by James Blunt

Jane works on her painting. She diligently captures every part of Quinn's body on the canvas. Jim likes what he sees. When he smiles Quinn smiles back. Later, they are chatting while taking a break, Quinn wearing the bathrobe. Afterward, Jane is once again painting away. Quinn grows increasingly comfortable in the situation. She is soon so comfortable that she stays naked during the breaks. As we get in to the late afternoon Jane is making the final touches on her masterpiece.

"And...viola. I have now captured Quinn in all of her naked glory."

Quinn picks up her bathrobe and puts it back on.

She asked "Can I see it?"

"Of course."

Quinn and Jim look at the portrait in awe of it's beauty and Jane's talent.

Quinn said "Jane, it's beautiful!"

Jim said "That's because you're beautiful. This actually allows the rest of the world to see what I see when I look at you, a stunning goddess among mortal women."

Quinn blushes at the compliment.

* * *

Quinn and Jim, on their way back from New York, have decided to pay Jake and Helen a surprise visit. They are having microwave lasagna for dinner (no way Quinn or Helen will allow Jim to be subjected to one of Jake's culinary experiments).

Helen asked "So, Jim, any luck finding a job?"

Jim said "Despite the low unemployment rate, no. Some rejected me because they feel I don't fit in with the company culture, but that's only a handful. Most of the time it's either that I'm over qualified because of my Ivy League education or I don't have enough experience."

Jake asked "How could three years at Grace, Sloan and Page not count as enough experience?"

Jim explained "When they say "Experience Required" they mean at least a decade. At least it seems like that."

Helen asked "Well, how did you get the last job you had?"

"I was recruited at a job fair at Vance a few weeks before graduating."

Just then, Jim gets and idea.

"Of course, job fairs. I can just attend one of those. Multiple prospective employers right there for the picking."

Quinn, seeing that her parents are grilling Jim, decideds to change the subject.

"Did I mention that we spent today at Daria and Jane's place in New York?"

Jake said "That's great, sweetie. How is your sister?"

"She had to work all day, so we didn't see her. I was there because Jane wanted to do a portrait of me."

Helen said "Wonderful. Why?"

Quinn said "The Metropolitan Art museum has an expo coming up where local artists put their work on display and admission is free."

Quinn suddenly gasps as she realizes she's just said too much, but Jake and Helen don't notice.

Jake said "That's great. We should go, Helen.

Helen agreed "Of course. You girls may be grown now but we can still be supportive parents."

Now Quinn and Jim are both very nervous.

Jim said "I don't think that's such a good idea."

Helen said "Nonsense, it's a great idea."

Quinn said "No, Jim's right. It would be a bad idea for you guys to come."

Jake asked "Why?"

Quinn is visibly sweating bullets at this point.

"Well...um...you see...This painting is...well...a nude portrait."

Helen and Jake are both shocked.

Helen: "WHAT!?"

Jake: "GAH!"

* * *

Quinn is now having a heated argument with Jake and Helen while an uncomfortable looking Jim looks on and doesn't dare get involved.

Helen barked "Quinn Louise Morgendorffer, how could you do something like this!?"

Jake panicked "Oh, God! Horny perverts are gonna be staring at my little girl! I'll kill 'em. I'LL KILL 'EM!"

"Jake, calm down! You're going to give yourself another heart attack."

Jake calms down. Helen turns her attention back to Quinn.

"As for you, young lady, I can't believe you would do something like this. It reinforces the old notion that women should be valued only for their looks."

Quinn said "Mom, it's just a painting of me without close on. I admit it seems awkward at first, but when you look at it from a strictly logical point of view it's not really a big deal. Would you object to me posing for a portrait of me laying on a recliner in my current outfit?"

"Don't be ridiculous, sweetie. Of course I wouldn't object to that."

"Then why do you object to this? It's the same thing. The only difference is that I didn't have any clothes on."

"There's a huge difference. It plays in to the notion of women as sex objects."

Jim said "I was there, it wasn't like that. It was actually very tastefully done."

Jake stands up and goes totally ballistic.

"YOU STARED AT MY LITTLE GIRL WHILE SHE WAS NAKED! YOU PERVERT! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL CASTRATE YOU!"

Jake looks like he's about to lunge at Jim but Helen holds out her arm and stops him.

"SIT DOWN, JAKE!"

Jake sits down. Quinn and Jim exchange worried looks.

Helen said "Jake, you're being ridiculous. Quinn and Jim are a twenty-something live in couple. Remember what we were like at that age?"

Jake's eyes go wide.

"GAH! OH, DEAR GOD, NO!"

At this point, Quinn decides she's had enough. She gets up to leave.

"Come on, Jim!"

Helen barked "We're finishing this discussion, young lady!"

Quinn snapped back "Yes, we will, when you and Dad are ready to be adults about this. I'm not a little girl or an ignorant ditz. I'm twenty-three years old, it's my body and my decision. I'm sorry that it upset you, but it was my decision to pose nude."

With that, they leave.

* * *

 **Music:** "Stupid Girls" by Pink

Later, at hers and Jim's apartment, Quinn is on the phone.

"...so now Dad wants to kill Jim and Mom's ready for all out war."

Daria is on the other end of the line.

"And that's why I'd never tell them something like this. Did you relapse into your airhead phase?"

Quinn said "I wasn't going to tell them. I mentioned that I posed for a painting and they pressed for details. They were insisting on going to the expo where this will be displayed and I had to tell them why it wasn't a good idea"

Daria said "I remember those days. Morgendorffer dinner conversations, like the Spanish Inquisition but more painful. Did Dad have another heart attack?"

"Thankfully, no. What I really don't get is Mom's objection. She said I was playing into the idea of women as sex objects. What's with that?"

"Tell me, Quinn, are you familiar with second wave feminism?"

"No."

Daria explained "The womens movement has come in waves. The first wave was in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. The crowning success of this wave was the Nineteenth Amendment, which gave women the right to vote. The second wave emerged in the 1960's. This wave fought against things like wage discrimination and sexual harrassment in the workplace while championing reproductive rights. In the 1980's this wave fragmented as many feminists joined the New Right in it's war on pornography, which the feminists saw as another form of male chauvanism. Many peoples definition of pornography, unfortunately, tends to be so broad as to classify any depiction of nudity as pornographic whether it depicts sex or not. Mom was a part of this second wave and as she grew older and more conservative her views on nudity have shifted accordingly."

Quinn said "So, she thinks that by posing nude I'm sending the message that women are sex objects. We all have bodies under our clothes. It's not like I'm inviting everyone who sees the painting to have sex with me."

Daria said "Some people are too irrational to understand the difference. That's what Mom wants to protect you from. You know that in the eyes of a parent you never seem to age past five years old."

"Tell me about it."

* * *

Monday morning Jake is in his office when there's a knock on the door.

"Come in."

Quinn enters, making Jake very nervous.

He said "Oh, my, I have a meeting with a client in five minutes. I'd better run."

"Dad, I know that's not true. I looked at your schedule before I came in."

Jake looks like a deer caught in the headlights. Quinn sits down in front of his desk.

Very nervous, Jake asked "So, um, what did you want to talk about?"

"About the other night."

"Um, Yeah, I was hoping we could just pretend that never happened."

Quinn said "Well, I feel the need to explain a few things. I'm sorry if what I did upset you but it's not like anyone pressured me into anything. The decision was my own."

"I know, sweetie. It's just hard to accept that your child is now fully grown. I guess a part of me wished that you'd stay a little girl forever."

Quinn said "Dad, that never happens. I'm still your daughter but I'm also a grown woman now. I didn't do anything wrong and I was not taken advantage of. The whole thing was done very professionally."

"You really need to talk to your mother about this."

"I know, but in addition to being father and daughter we're also business partners. The sooner things stop being awkward, the better."

Jake said "I understand. I was just shocked."

Jake pauses for a moment.

"Um, I'm not gonna have to go to this expo, am I?"

Quinn said "God, that's too awkward for me."

Jake looks relieved.

* * *

Later on, Quinn is back in her own office. She's on the phone.

"Hi, Mom."

Helen is on the other end of the line.

"Hello, Quinn."

Quinn said "Mom, we need to talk about this nude painting. You reacted as if I'd been in something pornographic."

Helen explained "I just felt that you'd done something to make yourself seem like a sex object."

"The picture is a tasteful nude that has nothing overtly sexual or erotic about it. Would a picture of me in a bikini be this bad?"

Helen sighs. She sees Quinn's point.

"You know, I'm still not entirely sure why you did something like this."

"Remember David Sorenson?"

"The tutor you had that one summer. Of course."

Quinn said "He once said something to me that's always kind of stuck with me. I wasn't taking the session seriously and when I pointed out to him that I'm popular he said, quote: "The only reason you're popular is your looks, and those won't last forever." It was a long overdue wake up call. By doing this I can look back in old age and be reminded of just what a stunner I was in my youth."

Helen, seeing Quinn's point, smiles.

* * *

Friday evening at the New York Metropolitan Museum of art is a banner that reads "Up and Coming Artist Expo 2006." Inside the museum Quinn, Jim and Daria approach Jane. The nude protrait of Quinn is covered.

Quinn asked "Why's it covered?"

Smirking, Jane said "It's a surprise. I was waiting for you to get here before unveiling it."

With dread, Daria said "I can't believe I'm doing this."

Jane said "Trust me, Daria. This idea will appeal to you very much. Now that you're all here I can uncover this thing."

Jane grabs the sheet covering the painting. They all see the full portrait and gasp. Jane has painted on two black squares, one covering Quinn's breasts and the other covering her sex. In each box Jane has written the words "European Verson Only". Cut to a grinning Jane.

"After you left last weekend I decided to make some alterations. Anyone can do a nude, but how many people do one that's also social commentary?"

Daria is impressed.

"I have to say, Jane, it's nice to see art that's brutally honest."

Quinn and Jim both laugh.

Jim said "It's funny because it's true."

Quinn said "Tell me about it."

Daria said "Another indictment of American squeamishness."

They all smile.

Jane said :By the way, Quinn..."

She hands Quinn a poster tube.

"...a little payment for your contribution."

* * *

Back in Lawndale late that night Quinn and Jim are in the bedroom of their apartment. Quinn has the poster tube Jane had given her.

Jim said "It was nice of Jane to copy the painting before she altered it."

Quinn said "When I'm all old and crusty I'll be able to look at this and say "That's me when I was 23.""

They tack the poster on the wall. Final shot is the original verson with Jim and Quinn's heads each blocking the view of Quinn's breasts and nether regions.

 **Next Time**

The good news: Jim gets a job. The bad news: one of his coworkers is Kevin.


	3. Jim The Mechanic

Opening Montage

 **Theme:** "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne

We see Quinn and Jim having a romantic dinner. Next, we see Quinn entertaining clients while Jake beams proudly. We then see Eric trying to boss Helen around, but Helen is having none of it. Cut to Stacy and Chuck holding hands while Sandi looks on enviously. Kevin and Brittany are making out in the girls locker room while Brittany is supposed to be coaching. Cut to Mr. DeMartino going totally beserk. Cut to Quinn having a girls night out with Stacy and Lindy. Montage ends with Quinn's smiling face in front of a pink background. Below that:

Quinn

in

"Jim the Mechanic"

written by

WildDogJJ

It's Friday night. Stacy Ruttheimer and her husband, Charles, formerly known as Upchuck, are having friends over for dinner. The friends are Quinn Morgendorffer and her boyfriend, Jim Carbone. After the meal Stacy, Chuck, Quinn and Jim seated around the table playing poker.

Stacy said "I raise. Any takers?"

Chuck said "Well, oh love of my life, if you insist. Call."

Chucks chips go into the pot. Quinn immediately grins.

"Get ready to hand over your chips. Call."

She adds her chips to the pot. Jim maintains an expressionless face.

Stacy asked "In or out, Jim?"

Jim said "Well, I must be out of my mind, but...call."

Jim adds his chips to the pot. Stacy tips her hand.

She said "Sorry to break this to everyone but...three Jacks."

Close up shows she has three Jacks.

Chuck said "Damn, I only have two pair: Kings and tens."

Quinn grins triumphantly.

"Don't celebrate just yet, Stacy."

Quinn tips her hand. She has two Kings and three Queens.

"Full House! What have you got, Jim?"

Jim smiles.

"Read 'em and weep."

He tips his hand, four Aces.

Quinn said "Sonofabitch!"

Stacy said "That's the fourth hand in a row, Jim."

Chuck asked "Yeah, man. What's your secret?"

Jim said "I've been observing everyone's betting pattern. I noticed that Stacy bets big on weak hands to bluff everyone into folding. Granted, three Jacks is a strong hand but it wasn't strong enough in this case. Even if I didn't have fours Aces I know that when Stacy raises it's a safe bet to call. A little luck helps, too."

Jim now frowns.

Jim said "If only my luck translated into my job hunt."

Chuck said "I don't get it. How does someone with your resume strike out so much?"

Quinn added "Yeah, babe. Are you sure the Sloans didn't blacklist you?"

Jim said "I don't think it would matter if they did. At that job fair I went to yesterday I noticed a lot of people were getting hired based solely on the recommendation of friends. It seems that what you know matters less than who you know?"

Quinn said "Jim, my father and I have plenty of clients who are hiring. Just say the word and we'll be happy to throw some influence your way."

Jim said "Honey, I appreciate the offer. But you've already taken me into your home and let me slide on the bills. You've sacrificed enough for me already. I just wish some of my old friends from Vance were here. They could help me easy."

Chuck asked "Have you kept in touch with any of them since you graduated?"

Jim sighs.

"No. Most of them moved on after graduation. One guy I hit it off with was a year behind me. We were so tight that if we'd graduated at the same time we would've definitely helped each other out."

Stacy asked "What was his name?"

"Michael MacKenzie, but everyone called him Mack."

Everyone else gasped.

Chuck said "You know Mack!?"

"What? Why's everyone so shocked? I told you his name, but that was it."

Stacy said "He's from here. We all knew him in high school."

Now it's Jim who is shocked.

"You're kidding!?"

Quinn said "He graduated from Lawndale High in the same class as my sister. He was captain of the football team."

* * *

 **Music:** "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers

Later that same evening in the New York apartment she shares with Jane, Daria is in her room. The room is small with all of Daria's posters and personal belongings from her days in Lawndale. Daria herself is sitting up in bed reading a book when the phone rings. She answers.

"Abandon hope, all ye who call here."

Quinn is on the other end of the line.

"Daria, do you remember Mack MacKenzie?"

Daria said "The one member of the Lawndale Lions with a functioning brain. How could I forget?"

Quinn said "It turns out that Jim knew him in college."

"It's a small world after all."

"Do you know what he's done with his life since then?"

Daria said "Believe it or not I actually do. Since Vance is in Providence, Jane actually got in touch with him during our second year of college. They had a brief romantic fling before going back to just being friends."

Quinn asked "You wouldn't happen to know where he is now, would you?"

Daria looks suspicious.

"Why?"

"Jim wants to expand his professional network. I thought since he and Mack were friends if they got back in touch Mack could help him find a new job."

Daria said "He actually went back to Lawndale. He wanted to learn the automotive business so he got a job at his fathers garage. It's called MacKenzie Automotive. You can find the number in the yellow pages."

"Thanks, sis."

"Don't mention it. Ever."

* * *

The next day at Pizza King Quinn and Jim are seated across from Mack at a table catching up. Mack now wears a polo shirt and his hairstyle is now a close-cropped flattop. Other than that, he looks the same as he did in high school.

Quinn said "...so after I found out that you and Jim knew each other I asked Daria for your number."

Jim said "Sorry I lost touch after I graduated."

Mack said "That's okay, Jim. So, you're looking for a new job?"

"Yes, and I figured you could help me out. I know it sounds selfish to meet up under those circumstances but I need to expand my network."

"Hey, that's what friends are for. I seem to recall you being a major car buff."

"I still am."

Quinn said "Almost to a fault. Cars are one of the subjects I just can't get you to shut up about."

Mack said "My father is currently looking to fill two mechanic positions in his garage. I can set up an interview with him, if you're interested."

Jim said "Thanks, Mack. I really appreciate it. How is it you're working in your father's auto shop?"

"He wants to leave the business to me one day so I decided to get some hands on experience. I can tell you here and now that you're a shoo-in for the mechanic job."

Jim and Quinn are visibly excited.

* * *

At their apartment a few evenings later Quinn is having some coffee while Jim paces nervously. Quinn sees how worried her boyfriend is and tries to calm him down.

"Jim, why are you so nervous? You said the interview went well."

Jim said "It did, but that doesn't necessarily mean I got the job. If someone more qualified came along since the interview then I'm shit out of luck."

"Don't worry, Jim. I believe in you. You should stop being so hard on yourself."

Jim feels better. Just then, the phone rings. Quinn picks it up as she is closest.

"Hello...Hi, Mr. MacKenzie...Yes, he's here."

She covers the reciever.

"It's for you."

She hands Jim the phone.

"Hello, Mr. MacKenzie...Really?...Of course...I'll be there...Thanks."

Jim hangs up and smiles.

"I got the job!"

"Babe, that's wonderful! I knew you could do it!"

She gets up and hugs him.

Quinn said "I love you."

Jim said "I love you, too."

* * *

 **A large building with multiple garages called "MacKenzie Automotive", a few days later...**

In Mr. MacKenzie's office Jim and Mack are seated in front of Mack's father, John MacKenzie. John is a fifty-something with a mustache and a small afro that is starting to go gray. He has a bit of a beer gut.

John said "Welcome aboard, Jim."

Jim said "Thanks again, Mr. MacKenzie."

"Please, call me John."

Mack said "So, that's one position filled."

John said "Actually, I've filled both. I also found someone to fill the other mechanic spot."

"Excellent."

Just then, the door opens.

John said "Allow me to introduce our other new mechanic."

It's Kevin.

"Jim, Mack Daddy, what's up?"

Jim and Mack are both visibly horrified.

* * *

John has just hired two new mechanics. One of them is Jim. Unfortunately, the other is Kevin Thompson. Mack and Jim are both horrified at the prospect of working with him.

Jim asked ""Mack Daddy"?"

Mack said "He always called me that in high school, no matter how many times I told him not to. I guess some things never change."

Kevin asked "So, are we, like, gonna supercharge a car?"

John said "We will if it's what the customer wants. This is a full service shop."

"Cool!"

Mack asked "Dad, why did you hire Kevin? He has no automotive experience whatsoever."

John said "Now, Mack, I know you two were tight in high school and he's been unemployed for a year. Doug Thompson is also one of my oldest and most valued customers so, like you, I'm doing a favor for a friend."

"But Jim has the skills for the job, Kevin doesn't."

"So you and Jim can teach him."

Jim said "With all due respect, I don't think he's teachable. He accidentally burned his own house to the ground last year."

Kevin looks upset.

"Hey, that's, like, a lie, dude!"

Jim said "Kevin, I was there. You tried to put out a small fire by pouring liquor on it and burned down your own house."

Mack said "Sounds about right."

John said "I understand your misgivings but I believe in giving people a chance. I expect that you'll do the same."

* * *

 **Music:** "Bringin' Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake

At their apartment that evening Quinn and Jim are on the couch. Quinn listens to Jim rant about Kevin.

"...and when I tried to show him how to repair a damaged tire he accidentally torched some kerosine soaked rags. Thank God the fire extinguisher was in easy reach."

"Try to think of it this way, honey: at least you're getting paid to do something you enjoy."

Jim said "That's why I'm sticking with this job despite the presence of a total moron. I can't believe you tutored him in high school. You must have the patience of a saint. How did you do it?"

"Repitition. I figured out early on that if you just keep at it with him it'll eventually sink in."

There's a knock on the door.

"I'll get it."

Quinn opens the door. It's Lindy.

"Lindy! How are you?"

Lindy said "I'm good. I thought I'd pay a visit and catch up."

"Come on in."

Quinn closes the door behind Lindy and leads her to the sofa.

"You remember Jim, don't you?"

"Of course. How are you?"

She and Jim shake hands.

"I'm good. I live here now."

Lindy grins slyly.

"Well, well. Any talk of a walk down the aisle?"

Jim said "Too soon for that."

Quinn said "Though I wouldn't mind if it happens...someday."

Lindy smiles.

"You still work at Grace, Sloan and Paige?"

"No, long story."

Quinn said "He's a mechanic now."

Jim added "It's a great job except for one thing: I work with Kevin Thompson."

Lindy said "Ouch! You have my sympathies."

* * *

 **Music:** "Working Man" by Rush

The next day at MacKenzie Automotive Jim is doing a tune up while Kevin watches intently.

"Kevin, could you hand me the manifold, please?"

Kevin stares at the manifold for the car Jim is working on. He picks up a rag and folds it many times over. He hands it to Jim.

"Here you go, dude."

"A rag?"

"Folded many times, like you said."

Jim rolls his eyes.

"Do you even know what a manifold is?"

Kevin scratches his head.

"Ummm...uhhh...hmmm...no."

Jim walks over to the manifold on the table, he picks it up and shows it to Kevin.

"This is a manifold. It pumps air into the engine. I took it out of the car I'm working on so I could check the fuel injection. I asked you to bring it over so I can screw it back on."

Kevin asked "Why do you need to pump air into the engine?"

Jim said "Because the way a car runs is like this: while fuel is sprayed into the cylinders the manifold pumps in oxygen so that when the fuel hits the spark plugs it sets off an explosion. The force of the explosion moves the pistons, which move everything else. Do you follow me so far?"

"I think so. Where do the nitrous tanks go?"

"This car doesn't have nitrous tanks."

"Aren't we supposed to put them in?"

"Kevin, we aren't tricking out this car for racing. It's just a simple tune up."

"I didn't know that cars had guitar strings. Cool."

Jim groans and shakes his head.

* * *

At Lindy's place Quinn and Lindy are chatting over tea.

Quinn said "This herbal tea is great, Lindy."

"Thanks, Quinn. How's Jim?"

Quinn said "He came home in a really lousy mood last night. Dealing with Kevin is wearing on his nerves. Yesterday he tried to show Kevin how to do a tune up but Kevin kept goofing off. After his lunch break Jim caught Kevin joyriding on the hydraulic lift."

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"Kevin fell, but Jim broke the fall. I wish I could do something to cheer him up."

"Take a day off and surprise him at work. I did that once with my boyfriend."

Quinn looks thoughtful.

"I just might do that."

* * *

The following day at the front shop of MacKenzie Automotive Kevin is working the cash register while a customer pays for an oil change.

"Okay, that comes out to...five bucks."

The customer, a balding fat man, stares at Kevin in disbelief.

"For an oil change? Are you sure?"

"Positive."

The customer gives Kevin a ten. Kevin puts it in the register and gives the customer his change. The change is a fifty.

The customer said "This is a fifty. I gave you a ten."

"Exactly. Five times ten is fifty, so that's your change."

The customer grins.

"Thanks."

"No problem, dude."

The customer leaves as Jim and Mack enter.

Mack asked "How's it going, Kevin?"

Kevin said "It's going great, Mack Daddy."

Mack groans.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?"

Jim looks at the latest bill.

He said "At least you charged him the right price for an oil change. Twenty for oil, twenty for parts and ten for labor."

Kevin said "That's right, dude. For a total of five bucks."

Jim and Mack's eyes go wide.

Jim said "It's supposed to be fifty bucks."

Kevin said "Are you, like, dumb or something? The change was fifty. He owed five and gave me a ten so I gave him fifty."

Mack shouted "WHAT!?"

Jim immediately opens the register. The only money is the ten that the customer paid.

"Kevin, how do you calculate a bill?"

Kevin said "Duh, divide the total by ten, then, like, multiply what they give you by ten and give them back that."

Jim and Mack both stare daggers at Kevin.

Jim and Mack: "DUMBASS!"

* * *

At their apartment that evening Quinn listens patiently while Jim unloads about Kevin's incompetence.

"...he actually bilked the place out of the whole days take. He's such a moron he can't even work a cash register. He's got us both on the verge of going nuts."

Quinn said "What I don't get is why Mack's father hired him in the first place."

"Nepotism. Him and Doug Thompson go way back. I don't know how much more of this shit I can take."

"Then why don't you quit?"

Jim said "Two reasons. One, Kevin is the only part of the job I don't like. Two, I just got this job. I leave now and it won't look good on my resume. The only way I'm not stuck in a shitty situation is if Kevin gets fired, and I doubt that'll happen."

Quinn strokes Jim's hand.

In a suggestive tone she said "Why don't I do something to make you feel better?"

"Not tonight. I have a headache."

"Isn't that supposed to be my line?"

Jim sighs.

"Now I know I'm messed up."

* * *

 **Music:** "Ain't No Other Man" by Christina Aguilera

Kevin is showing Brittany around the front of MacKenzie Automotive.

"And this door leads to, like, the garage. This is where we fix cars."

Brittany said "Oh, Kevie, that's so manly."

"Aw, babe!"

He and Brittany start to make out in front of everyone. A blonde mother with a little girl covers her daughter's eyes and stares daggers at Kevin and Brittany. Jim enters and is not amused by the PDA.

"Kevin."

Kevin and Brittany stop making out.

Jim said "Mack and I decided to take turns working the register. I need you in back to help Mack with an oil change."

"Okay."

He goes in back while Jim walks up to the cash register. In the garage Mack is lowering the hydralic lift, which has an SUV on it. After the car is lowered Mack turns to Kevin.

"Okay, Kevin, I already did all of the hard stuff. I drained out the old oil, rotated the tires and put in a new filter."

Mack pops the hood of the SUV. He points to the cap where the oil is supposed to go in.

"All you have to do is put fresh oil in the car. Can you do that?"

Kevin said "Of course, dude."

"Good. I'm taking my lunch break. Tell Jim when you're done so he can ring the customer up."

"Sure thing, Mack Daddy."

"And quit calling me that."

* * *

Quinn's car pull up to MacKenzie Automotive. Quinn steps out. She has a tray covered in foil.

 _Jim's been in such a lousy mood. Maybe I can cheer him up with this surprise visit._

Quinn enters through the front door. Cut to a pleasantly surprised Jim.

"Quinn! What are you doing here?"

Quinn said "The other night Lindy suggested I cheer you up with a surprise visit, so I brought you some lunch."

"What did you bring?"

"Lasagna. The real kind that you showed me how to make, not the frozen junk I grew up on."

Jim smiles.

"I can take my lunch break after we finish changing the oil in Mrs. Benson's SUV."

The blonde mother with the little girl is Mrs. Benson. In the employee lounge Mack is eating a sandwich when his father, John, comes in.

"Michael, you've got a phone call."

Mack puts down his sandwich and follows his father out of the lounge.

* * *

In the garage Kevin looks at the SUV.

 _I forgot to ask Mack Daddy where we keep the oil._

Kevin heads toward the lounge, absent mindedly walking past a shelf full of fresh motor oil. He soon reaches the lounge.

"Yo, Mack Daddy..."

He notices that Mack isn't there.

"Aw, Man. How am I gonna find the oil now?"

He sees a bottle on the counter. The label reads "Olive Oil".

"Well, oil's oil."

He takes the bottle of olive oil and leaves. Back in the garage Kevin pours the olive oil into the car. Kevin screws the cap back on and tries to think.

 _What am I supposed to do next?_

Kevin struggles to think.

Thought VO, Mack's voice _"Rotated the tires."_

Kevin smiles.

 _Of course, I'm supposed to rotate the tires._

Kevin closes the hood and raises the hydraulic lift. Next, he uses the air wrench to unbolt the tires. He spins each tire in his hand before putting it back on and forgetting to re-tighten the bolts.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, out front...**

Quinn is sitting and entertaining Mrs. Benson's little girl while an irate Mrs. Benson is talking to Jim.

Mrs. Benson asked "What's taking so long?"

Jim said "I'm beginning to wonder the same thing myself."

Kevin comes in from the garage.

"The SUV's ready to go."

Mrs. Benson said "It's about time."

* * *

 **The employee lounge, a few minutes later...**

Mack is finishing his lunch when Quinn and Jim enter.

Quinn said "Hi, Mack."

Mack said "Quinn, what brings you here?"

"I surprised Jim by bringing him lunch. Care to join us?"

"I can't. I just ate."

Jim looks at the counter.

"Where's my olive oil? I was originally just going to have a salad for lunch and I brought my own olive oil and vinegar to use as a dressing. The olive oil's gone."

At this point, Kevin enters.

"I almost forgot, we're outta oil."

Mack said "No we aren't."

Kevin said "We are. There was only one bottle of it in here which I put in that lady's SUV."

Jim, Mack and Quinn's eyes all go wide.

Jim shouted "OH, SHIT"!

He, Mack and Quinn all run out of the lounge. Outside they see the SUV just as it's wheels come off and it slides across the parking lot before crashing into a parked car. Jim and Quinn run towards the wreckage. Inside the SUV Mrs. Benson and her daughter are visibly shaken but unharmed.

Jim asked "Mrs. Benson! Are you alright? What happened?"

Mrs. Benson said "My car started making weird noises and suddenly the wheels flew off."

Cut back to Mack and Kevin.

Mack said "Kevin, did you do something other than put oil in the car?"

"I rotated the tires."

"Jim and I already did that."

"Oh! Sorry, bro."

Kevin scratches his head in thought.

"Aw, Man! I forgot to fasten the tires when I put them back on."

Jim, Quinn and Mrs. Benson all stare daggers at Kevin.

* * *

A few days later at Pizza King Quinn and Lindy are having lunch and talking.

Quinn said "...so after that Mr. MacKenzie had no choice but to fire Kevin."

Lindy said "I bet Jim's happy about that."

"He is. Now that Kevin's gone Jim actually enjoys his new job."

Lindy said "I wonder what Kevin will do now. Granted, I've done some stupid things but that was when I was drinking. Kevin seems to be dumb when sober."

Quinn said "Tell me about it. I guess Kevin will have to find something else."

* * *

At the principals office at Lawndale High the current principal, Mr. DeMartino, is seated behind his desk while Superintendent Cartwright is seated across from him.

"Mr. Cartwright, to WHAT do I owe THIS VISIT?"

"I understand that this school needs a new football coach."

"I am ALREADY conducting interviews for the POSITION."

Mr. Cartwright said "The thing is that Steven Taylor is a major contributer to the school system and his son in law needs a job. He promised a fat contribution if we make the young man the new football coach."

Kevin enters.

"Hey, Mr. D. I'm the new football coach."

Both of Mr. DeMartino's eyes bulge out of their sockets.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 **Next Time**

Sandi is having a rough time and reflects on how it all went wrong.


	4. Sandi's Secrets

Opening Montage

 **Theme:** "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne

We see Quinn and Jim having a romantic dinner. Next, we see Quinn entertaining clients while Jake beams proudly. We then see Eric trying to boss Helen around, but Helen is having none of it. Cut to Stacy and Chuck holding hands while Sandi looks on enviously. Kevin and Brittany are making out in the girls locker room while Brittany is supposed to be coaching. Cut to Mr. DeMartino going totally beserk. Cut to Quinn having a girls night out with Stacy and Lindy. Montage ends with Quinn's smiling face in front of a pink background. Below that:

Quinn

in

"Sandi's Secrets"

written by

WildDogJJ

 **Music:** "Outrageous" by Britney Spears

One evening at a strip club called "Café Risqué" Quinn and Jake are meeting with a client. Their client is the clubs owner, Mr. Vorchevsky. They are seated at the bar. Quinn is visibly uncomfortable with having a business meeting in a strip joint.

Mr. Vorchevsky said "Business is boomings. I haves you to thank."

Quinn said "Those commercials are the key."

Jake practically face palms himself for overlooking something so obvious.

"Why didn't I think of that?"

On the stage a brunette in high heeled sandals and lacy black lingerie is shaking her ass while stroking the pole in a very suggestive manner. He back is turned. She removes her bra then turns around. Before we see anything R-rated cut to a very shocked Quinn. Close up of the brunette strippers face reveals her to be...Sandi Griffin. Sandi gasps in shock. She blushes with embarrassment. She is now covering her breasts with her right arm. Cut back to a shocked Quinn.

* * *

 **Music:** "Dirty Little Secret" by All American Rejects

Later that same evening at a roadside diner Quinn and a now fully clothed Sandi are having coffee and an awkward conversation.

Sandi said "Quinn, what were you doing in a strip club with your father?"

Quinn said "Business meeting. Mr. Vorchevsky is one of our clients. What are you doing stripping?"

Sandi explained "A few months ago my rent was increased to more than I could afford working at Food Lord. So I got a new job at Cafe Risque. Don't tell anyone."

"Sandi, I posed for a nude painting last month. I won't judge. I was just shocked, that's all. Besides, you're an exotic dancer, not a prostitute."

Quinn thinks of something.

"You aren't, right?"

Sandi rolls her eyes.

"Like I would ever sink that low. Mr. Vorchevsky has a strict look but don't touch policy. If a customer gets fresh we shout "hands" and a bouncer kicks him out."

Quinn looks relieved. She soon notices how sad Sandi looks.

"What's wrong, Sandi?"

Sandi sighs.

"I was just thinking about my life and how it all went so horribly wrong."

Quinn said "I can't believe you were disowned just because you're into both guys and girls."

Sandi looks thoughtful.

"Maybe it would help if I told you the whole story."

* * *

 **Carter Community College, day, 2001**...

We see a clooection of red brick buildings similar to Lawndale High. Inside one of the classrooms are a bunch of students seated in rows. Among them is a fresh out of high school Sandi sitting in her usual regal stance. Next to her is an attractive blond with brown eyes, a beautiful face, a perfect body and impeccable fashion sense as she is wearing tight black pants that are low cut, a violet top that accentuates her curves and black designer shoes.

 **Sandi: (VO from 2006) It was my first week at college. I was taking Humanities 101 in order to get that requirement out of the way. That was when I first saw her.**

The 2001 Sandi eyes the blond with curiosity.

 **Sandi: (VO from 2006) Her name was Ashley. I looked at her that day because I was amazed at how attractive she was.**

Ashley notices Sandi eyeing her and smiles. Sandi looks away and thumbs up her nose.

2001 Sandi thought _She may be a girl, but she's also kind of...sexy!_

Sandi immediately chastises herself for thinking that about a girl.

 _STOP IT! You are not that way. You are not that way. YOU ARE NOT THAT WAY!_

Sandi swallows as if she's trying to push something down and keep it there. She immediately regains her composure.

 _Just idle curiosity, again. It didn't mean anything._

 **Sandi: (VO from 2006) At least that's what I told myself whenever I had those thoughts about girls.**

Later on as Sandi is walking from class and Ashley approaches her.

Ashley said "I noticed you looking at me in class today."

Sandi immediately puts her haughtiness on full display.

"And what if I was. Why would I check out someone who wasn't a hot guy?"

Ashley takes a step back.

"Hey, cool off. I was just trying to start a conversation."

In a snotty tone Sandi said "And why is that?"

Ashley is visibly put off by Sandi's attitude, but undeterred.

"I just saw an opportunity to possibly make a friend, that's all. What the hell's your problem anyway?"

Sandi suddenly loses all her hautiness as she realizes what a bitch she's being.

She said "I'm sorry. I...well, in high school I was President of the Fashion Club. I guess no longer being the queen bee is something I'm still getting used to. I didn't mean to be so bitchy, I'm just not used to not being at the top of the pecking order."

Ashley smiles as she seems to understand.

She said "Welcome to college, where genuine friendship takes precedence over social status. I was actually one of the really popular girls at my school as well. I wasn't the queen bee, though."

Ashley extends her hand in greeting.

"My name's Ashley, by the way. Ashley Chastain."

Sandi shakes Ashley's hand.

"Sandi Griffin."

* * *

 **Music:** "Love At First Sight" by Kylie Minogue

Later, on the quad, Sandi and Ashley are sitting on a park bench and having lighthearted conversation.

 **Sandi: (VO from 2006) We became best friends really fast.**

2001 Sandi said "I really like your handbag."

Ashley holds up her black handbag and shows it to Sandi.

"Louis Vitton. I love the designer stuff."

Sandi said "So do I. I've always had a weakness for high fashion. After all, I was President of the Fashion Club."

Ashley said "I wish my high school had a fashion club. I would've signed up in a heartbeat. What exactly was the purpose of the club, anyway?"

Sandi explained "We actually started in middle school. Back then we were just friends who'd bonded over a love of all things fashionable. When we went to high school I got the idea to make us a formal school club dedicated to helping others look their best. Our principal, who was obssessed with bringing glory to the school, saw the club as a way to do just that. With how good looking you are if you'd gone to Lawndale High we most certainly would've tried to recruit you."

Ashley smiles at the compliment.

"Thanks."

Sandi said "Sorry I was so bitchy earlier. I'm used to being in command of all things around me. I'm still getting used to the idea of not being like that."

Ashley said "I understand. I'm fresh out of high school myself so I remember all too well the politics of popularity in a caste system. You know, you're actually pretty nice when you let yourself be that way. You should try it more often."

Now Sandi looks a little sad.

She said "I think I also get some of that from my mother. She demands perfection from herself and others. Her favorite saying was "It's better to have followers than friends. Friends are just enemies who aren't screwing you at the moment.""

"Ouch! That's harsh."

"The sad thing is that I've only recently realized that she's wrong. I wasted so much time being the queen bee that I almost forgot how to be a human being."

Ashley smiles.

"Well, now you have the chance to reinvent yourself. And you have one new friend to help you: me."

Sandi smiles.

 **Sandi: (VO from 2006) Ashley and I were pretty much inseperable after that. I quickly came to see her as my best friend.**

* * *

 **Music:** "Who Invited You" by The Donnas

At a big house one evening a huge party is in full swing. Among the party goers are Sandi and Ashley.

 **Sandi: (VO from 2006) It was at a huge party a month later that we became something more.**

Sandi and Ashley are at the refreshment table.

Ashley said "This is soooo cool. It was really nice of Alexis to invite us."

Just then, they are approached by a bleach blonde. She's Alexis.

Alexis asked "Ashley, you having a good time?"

"The best. By the way, this is my friend from Carter Community, Sandi Griffin. Sandi, my best friend from high school, Alexis Franklin."

Sandi and Alexis shake hands.

Alexis said "Pleased to meet you."

"Likewise."

 **Music:** "Hot in Here" by Nelly

Ashley smiles brightly.

"I love that song. C'mon, Sandi, let's dance."

Ashley takes Sandi out to the dance floor. The two dance with each other. Sandi and Ashley both get lost in the music. They soon face each other and seem to get lost in each others eyes. Suddenly, Ashley grabs Sandi and kisses her. At first, Sandi is shocked. Then, she kisses Ashley back. Soon, the kissing involves a lot of tongue. Sandi starts to moan into Ashley's mouth. Without thinking Sandi moves a hand down and grabs Ashley's ass. This makes Ashley moan. Suddenly, Sandi's eyes go wide with shock as she realizes what she's doing. She immediately breaks the kiss and pulls away from Ashley. The look on Sandi's face is pure horror.

"OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! WHAT AM I DOING?"

Sandi turns around and runs off.

Ashley called out "Sandi, wait..."

Ashley suddenly looks very dejected.

"Way to blow it, Ashley."

* * *

 **Music:** "Come To My Window" by Melissa Ethridge

Outside of Alexis' house Sandi is sitting on the doorstep looking totally distraught.

 _I was making out with a girl! And I enjoyed it! What the hell is wrong with me. I'm straight, I like guys. I can't be into girls. But then, why do I feel attracted to Ashley? Yes, I've had sexual thoughts about girls before but they didn't mean anything, did they? Just curiosity, that's all. So, why did that kiss turn me on?_

"Sandi?"

A concerned Ashley standing behind Sandi. Ashley sits down next to Sandi.

Ashley said "Sandi, I'm sorry. I just got carried away."

Sandi haughtily said "You think I'm some dyke!? I'm not into girls, I like guys."

Ashley doesn't believe a word.

"You seemed pretty into kissing me a few minutes ago. You even grabbed my ass, which was a total turn on by the way."

"You don't understand. I can't be a lesbian, I like guys."

"So you're bisexual then."

Sandi's haughtiness returns.

"No. I'm straight. If I do think about girls like that it's because I'm curious, nothing more."

Ashley is undeterred.

"Sandi, I understand. I was just as freaked out when I discovered I was bi too. Tell me, have you ever wondered if those thoughts and feelings were more than just curiosity?"

Sand looks away and says nothing, which tells Ashley everything.

Ashley said "I think that you're bisexual and just not ready to admit it, even to yourself. I've seen the way you look at me. I know because I look at you the same way, which I'm sure you've noticed. We're sexually attracted to each other."

Sandi's haughty scowl turns into a frown. She sighs.

 _She's right, but what does that mean for me?_

"How long? When did you accept that you're bi?"

Ashley said "I suspected in middle school. I started feeling attracted to girls as well as guys. I kept it to myself and played straight right through high school. Eventually, I had to tell someone. I told Alexis and her reaction surprised me. She accepted me and kept my secret. She even helped me find an LGBT support group. The day after I graduated I came out of the closet. Some people were cruel and hurtful to me and I did lose some friends, but a surprising number were supportive and accepting."

"Ashley, I haven't had these thoughts very often...until I met you. I don't know if I'm bi or just curious."

Ashley smiles seductively.

"There's one way to find out. We could..." her voice takes on a sultry tone, "...experiment."

Sandi looks taken aback and nervous, which Ashley notices.

Ashley said "Look, I'm saying we try a hook up. No commitments, no judgments. Just you and me. If at any point you wanna stop, we'll stop."

Sandi is unsure, but decides to give it a try.

"Um...okay

They lean into each other. As we hear the chorus "Come to my window.." they kiss, and like it. Ashley breaks the kiss and whispers in Sandi's ear.

Ashley: (sultry tone) "More?"

Sandi: (equally sultry) "More."

As they kiss again, this time more hungrily.

* * *

 **The diner, 2006...**

Sandi is telling Quinn the story.

"...it felt so right, so natural. So Ashley and I went to an upstairs bedroom and had sex."

"Ewww!"

Quinn immediately regrets her reaction.

"Oh, Sandi, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

Sandi reassures her.

"It's all right. That's a typical straight girl reaction. I only mention the sex because of the conversation we had afterwards."

* * *

 **An upstairs bedroom, 2001...**

Sandi's and Ashley's clothes strewn all over the floor. Sandi and Ashley are in bed. The sheets cover their nakedness while their dishelved hair makes it clear that they have been having sex. Both girls look satisfied.

Ashley said "Whoa! For someone who's never been with a girl before you're surprisingly good at pleasing one."

Sandi smiles.

"Beginners luck, I guess."

She looks thoughtful.

"Um, Ashley, do you feel weird about this?"

"No. Why would I? I'm openly bisexual, you're the closeted one."

Sandi said "That's not what I meant. I was wondering if after this we're still friends. I really like you."

Ashley said "Of course we're still friends. I , well, I actually like you as more than a friend. I would actually like a steady relationship but if you'd rather just be friends I understand."

"Actually, I like you as more than a friend too. I'm just unsure about things. If we're a couple I'd like to keep it a secret...for now."

"Can I at least tell Alexis? We can trust her not to tell anyone. It would also be helpful if we had someone who could cover for us."

Sandi sees Ashley's point.

"Very well. We tell only those who we know will keep it a secret. We're a couple but as far as the general public knows we're just good friends. We absolutely can not tell my family, though. I'm afraid how they'd react, especially my mother."

Ashley nods in understanding.

"I'm okay with that."

She smiles.

"I guess this answers one question: you, Sandi Griffin, are bisexual."

Sandi said "Yes, I am bisexual."

She smiles.

"It feels so good to finally say it, so liberating."

Ashley smiles.

"Come here, lover."

She pulls Sandi close and they kiss.

* * *

 **Music:** "Love At First Sight" by Kylie Minogue

 **Sandi: (VO from 2006) Ashley and I were even more inseperable after that night.**

We see a montage. First, we see Sandi and Ashley hanging out between classes. As far as passerby know they are just really good friends. Next, we see them attending a meeting of the LGBT support group that Ashley belongs to. Here, they act more like a romantic young couple. Next, we see Sandi and Ashley having a dinner date at a restaurant in downtown Philadelphia, where they're unlikely to bump into someone that Sandi knows. They alternate between conversation and staring lovingly into each others eyes. Next, a shot of them holding hands while walking through the park. They sit on a park bench and kiss.

 **Sandi: (VO from 2006) By Christmas we'd come out to Ashley's parents. They were very supportive.**

Montage continues with Sandi and Ashley having dinner with Ashley's parents. Afterwards, we see them watching a movie and snuggling on the couch. Next, we see Sandi's car by the abandoned quarry. We don't see the inside but the car's rocking lets us know exactly what's going on. Final shot is of Sandi and Ashley exchanging Valentines Day presents.

 **Sandi: (VO from 2006) By the next semester we were in love with each other. I wanted to come out, but there was one problem...my mother.**

* * *

 **The Griffin house, 2002...**

Sandi is primping in front of her mirror when Linda enters.

"Sandi, getting ready I see."

Sandi smiles brightly despite the interruption.

"Yes, mother. I'm really looking forward to the day."

Linda asked "Who's the lucky guy?"

Sandi gasps. She didn't think she was that obvious.

"Wha...What do you mean, mother?"

Linda said "Sandi, please. It's obvious that you are in love. So, who is he?"

Sandi has to think fast.

"He...His name is Ash...um...Ashton. He's wonderful."

Linda folds her arms.

"I see. Sandi, a word of advice: don't let your feelings blind you. I raised you to settle for nothing but the best and not be taken advantage of."

Sandi is now nervous.

"Um...What if sh...he's not what you expect?"

Linda scowls as she lays down the law.

"Then I'm bitterly disappointed. Never settle for less than the best. No daughter of mine is going to be with a man who is beneath her. Is this guy poor?"

Sandi said "No, sh...he's not poor. Nor is he a sleazy creep. He is most certainly up to standard."

Linda's stern expression gives way to a proud smile.

"Then he is exactly what I expect of you. Why did you ask?"

"Just curious."

Linda seems to accept this.

"Very well. Just remember what I told you. Do not dare disappoint me."

With that, Linda leaves. Sandi looks very worried.

* * *

Later, Sandi is at Ashley's house. They are hanging out in Ashley's room. The room has a set up and decor similar to Sandi's. Sandi is nervously pacing around while Ashley sits on her bed and listens to her girlfriends concerns.

Sandi said "My mother insists on meeting you, Ashley. The problem is that she thinks you're a guy. I'm screwed."

Ashley tries to reassure her girlfriend.

"I think you're being a little melodramatic. She has to find out about us eventually. You didn't think our relationship could be kept a secret forever, did you?"

Sandi said "You don't understand, Ashley. My mother expects me to be just like her. That includes being into guys, and only guys. I'm afraid of what will happen when she finds out that I have a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend."

Sandi sits down next to Ashley and sighs. Ashley puts a hand on Sandi's shoulder.

"It'll be okay, Sandi. I'll come over for dinner and we can explain to your mother together. Maybe seeing us together will lessen the shock."

Sandi is still terrified.

"But what if she disowns me? What if she makes me choose between my family and you? I love you and don't want to lose you, but I don't want to lose my family and home either."

"It'll be okay, Sandi. If you're kicked out of the house you can stay here."

Sandi smiles.

"You...you mean that?"

Ashley said "Of course. I'm not seeing the woman I love put out on the street."

Tears of joy well up in Sandi's eyes. She and Ashley hug.

"Oh, Ashley, I love you so much."

"I love you too, Sandi."

They kiss.

* * *

 **The Griffin house, 2002...**

The Griffin family is setting up for dinner. Sam and Chris are, for once, behaving themselves.

Linda said "I can't wait to meet this Ashton fellow. The way you talk about him he must be quite a catch."

Sandi looks nervous.

"Um, Mom, I think there's something you need to know about he...him."

"Yes?"

Sandi is very nervous.

 _What do I say? That he's actually a she? That Ashton is actually Ashley? That I'm bisexual and in a steady relationship with a girl?_

Sand said "Just that he's as wonderful as you think. I just hope that you still approve after this."

"Why wouldn't I?"

At this point the doorbell rings.

Sandi said "I'll get it."

She opens the front door. It's Ashley.

"Ready?"

Sandi takes a deep breath.

"As ready as I can be."

She leads Ashley to the living room. Everyone is there.

"Mom, Dad, this is Ashley Chastain."

Linda said "Hello, Ashley. I hope you don't mind, but we're expecting a dinner guest."

Ashley discreetly elbows Sandi.

"Tell her."

Sandi takes a deep breath before talking.

"Mom, Dad, I have to tell you the truth. Ashley is Ashton. I'm bisexual. Ashley's my girlfriend."

Everyone gasps in shock.

Ashley said "Mr. and Mrs. Griffin, I know this must be a shock. I really do care about Sandi and she cares about me. We're in love."

Linda is wide eyed with disbelief.

"No...It can't be...This is a joke."

Sandi said "This isn't a joke, Mother. I'm bisexual. I like guys and girls."

Sandi walks up to Linda. When she reaches out to her mother Linda angrily slaps her hand away.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Linda slaps Sandi with the back of her hand.

"HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME, YOU...YOU...DYKE!"

Tears fill Sandi's eyes.

"Mother, please..."

Enraged, Linda shouted "DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE? I RAISED YOU TO BE A STRONG AND INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND YOU REPAY ME BY HAVING AN UNNATURAL RELATIONSHIP! THIS IS A SHAME I'LL NEVER LIVE DOWN!"

Ashley loses her temper.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? THIS IS YOUR DAUGHTER!"

Linda snapped "SHE'S NO DAUGHTER OF MINE! I'LL NOT SUFFER THE STIGMA OF A SEXUALLY DEVIANT DAUGHTER, YOU DYKE! I WANT YOU BOTH OUT OF MY HOUSE, NOW!"

Sandi is now on the verge of crying.

"Mother, please..."

"I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER, NOT ANYMORE! I WANT YOU BOTH OUT OF THIS HOUSE AND OUT OF OUR LIVES! I HAVE NO DAUGHTER!"

Sandi starts to cry. Ashley holds her and gives Linda an angry look.

"C'mon, Sandi, let's go."

With that, they leave.

* * *

 **Music:** "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera

 **Ashley's house, 2002...**

Sandi is still crying while Ashley tries to comfort her.

 **Sandi: (VO from 2006) And that wasn't even the worst thing that happened to me that night.**

2002 Sandi cried "I... _sniff_...I can't believe th... _sob_...this is happening.

Ashley said "Sandi, maybe your mother will come around. Even if she doesn't, you haven't lost everything. You still have me."

Sandi feels a little better and stops crying.

"Thank you, Ashley. I love you."

"I love you, too."

At this point, the doorbell rings.

Ashley said "I'll get it."

Ashley gets up to answer the door. When she comes back there's a very handsome blond man in his early twenties with her.

Ashley said "Jeff, this is my girlfriend, Sandi. Sandi, I'd like you to meet Jeff, my boyfriend."

Sandi sits up with a start and gasps in shock. As if being disowned wasn't bad enough now she's being openly cheated on.

"BOYFRIEND!? WHAT THE HELL!?"

Ashley said "Come on, Sandi. We're not married or anything. There's nothing wrong with me having both a boyfriend and a girlfriend."

Jeff added "Don't worry. I've already been told there's no chance of a threesome."

Sandi is now livid.

"YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME!?"

Ashley said "No. If I was with another girl it would be cheating, but Jeff's a guy."

Sandi's eyed narrow as she folds her arms.

"So I'm expected to share you? I thought you loved me."

Ashley said "I do."

Sandi said "Yet you're cheating on me. Did you even once take my feelings into consideration?"

"Sandi, why are you being like this?"

"I just got kicked out of my own family and now I find out that you're slutting around with some guy. Do you have any idea what this feels like?"

Ashley angrily said "Hey, don't call me a slut. Like you haven't considered having a boyfriend as well."

Sandi said "I haven't. I thought we were exclusive. You...you...SLUT!"

"BITCH!"

Sandi said "You have to choose, Ashley. Him or me?"

Ashley points to the door.

"If that's how it is, then I think you should leave."

* * *

Later that night Sandi is at the door of the Griffin house while a pile of her belongings is on the curb for trash pickup.

 **Sandi: (VO from 2006) I was devastated. With nowhere else to go I tried to reconcile with my mother.**

The door opens. Linda is not happy to see Sandi.

Linda said "Go away. You're no longer a part of this family."

Heartbroken, Sandi said "Ashley was cheating on me. We broke up."

Linda defiantly folds her arms and smirks.

"Serves you right, you whore."

Sandi is devastated.

"My heart just got broken when you kicked me out and broken again when I found out Ashley was seeing someone else. Mother, please, I have no where else to go."

Linda said "That is hardly my problem. I will not endure the shame and disappointment of a bisexual daughter. You're no daughter of mine. Leave and never come back. I never want to see or hear from you ever again."

Linda angrily slams the door in Sandi's face. It starts to rain as Sandi runs off crying into the night.

* * *

 **A diner in Lawndale, evening, 2006**...

Sandi finishes telling her story to Quinn.

"...I've been alone ever since. I had to drop out of college and take a job at Food Lord. I lived in a homeless shelter until I could afford a place of my own."

Quinn looks like she wants to cry.

"Oh, Sandi, I'm so sorry. I'm also a little hurt."

Now, Sandi looks angry as some of her old haughtiness returns.

"You're hurt!? I'm the one who's had her heart ripped out, stomped on and shattered into a million pieces."

Quinn said "You don't understand. I'm hurt that you didn't tell me or Stacy when all of this happened. Why didn't you come to us?"

Sandi defiantly folds her arms.

"And just what would you have done?"

"I would've tried to help you. I don't know how, but I would've tried."

Just as quickly as her old haughtiness returned it disappears. Sandi slumps her shoulders and sighs.

"I considered coming to you, but I was afraid that you'd turn on me if you knew I was bi."

Quinn said "I would've never done that. Straight, bi or lesbian you're still Sandi. I still love you like a sister."

Sandi's expression softens as tears form in her eyes.

"You mean that?"

Quinn smiled warmly.

"Of course. You lost one family but you still have me, Stacy and even Tiffany. We'll be your family."

Sandi is so moved that she gets out of her seat and sits next to Quinn with tears of joy in her eyes. She throws her arms around Quinn.

"Oh, Quinn, thank you."

The two friends hug.

* * *

Dedicated to the memory of Ortrud Krumrine, mother of the WildDog

Oct. 2, 1951 - Jan. 18, 2018

Always in our hearts.

* * *

 **Next Time**

Tom throws a Halloween party and everyone is invited.


	5. Cosplayed

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme:** "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne

We see Quinn and Jim having a romantic dinner. Next, we see Quinn entertaining clients while Jake beams proudly. We then see Eric trying to boss Helen around, but Helen is having none of it. Cut to Stacy and Chuck holding hands while Sandi looks on enviously. Kevin and Brittany are making out in the girls locker room while Brittany is supposed to be coaching. Cut to Mr. DeMartino going totally beserk. Cut to Quinn having a girls night out with Stacy and Lindy. Montage ends with Quinn's smiling face in front of a pink background. Below that:

Quinn

in

"Cosplayed"

story by

WildDogJJ

Quinn is opening her and Jim's PO box. She gets out the mail, shuts the box and leaves. Cut to a short time later and we see Quinn at her kitchen table going through the mail.

 _Bill, bill, coupon book, Cosmo...that's definetely for me. Motor Trend...Jim. Playboy...eww, definetly Jim._ (Her eyes go wide) _Thomas Sloane!?_

Quinn opens the letter from Tom. It reads:

"Quinn Louise Morgendorffer and James Giovanni Carbone are cordially invited to the home of Thomas Jefferson Cornelius Sloane for a costume party to be held on Saturday, October the 29th, 2006."

Quinn has an intrigued expression on her face.

* * *

 **At Chuck and Stacy's house the following afternoon...**

Sandi is seated on the living room couch looking like royalty while Quinn, Stacy and Tiffany are sitting cross legged on the floor. The scene is erily similar to a Fashion Club meeting despite the fact that the club was disbanded five years earlier.

Sandi said "Thank you for letting us get together at your house, Stacy."

"Don't mention it. My house is the only place with enough room."

Sandi said "I wanted us to get together because of this."

She pulls a letter from her purse.

"It appears that all four of us have been invited to a costume party. I thought we should come up with costume ideas and co-ordinate."

Quinn looks unimpressed.

 _Just like a Fashion Club meeting. Some things really do never change._ "That sounds like a good idea, Sandi."

Stacy said "Chuck wants to go as Hugh Hefner, so I figured I'd go as a playboy bunny."

Sandi said "So that means we all pick a costume that is sexy. I think I'll go as a French Maid. Tiffany, what will you go as?"

"I...whaaat?"

Quinn looks at Tiffany. Yet one more thing that never seems to change.

"We're all invited to a costume party. Sandi wants to know what you plan to go as. Something sexy."

"Hooww...adoout...I...gooo...aaas...aaa...nuuun?"

Sandi rolls her eyes.

"Tiffany, dear, nuns are not sexy."

Stacy gets an idea.

"I know! Tiffany, you could go as either a sexy witch or a succubus."

"Suuucccuuuu...whaat?"

Quinn explained "A succubus is a female demon that seduces mortal men."

"Whaat?"

Quinn is now a little frustrated.

"Tiffany, I'll go as a succubus and you go as a sexy witch. How does that sound?"

"Ooookaaaayy."

* * *

 **Music:** "Move Along" by All American Rejects

Sandi is walking home from Stacy's. She is deep in thought.

 _That was a little too much like a Fashion Club meeting. I just can't seem to help being the queen bee. Why can't I just be human? They aren't my followers, they're my friends. No, more than that, they're the only family I have._

Sandi is so lost in thought that she immediately crashes into someone. They both avoid falling, however.

"Hey, watch it."

Her eyes go wide in shock when she sees who it is. Cut to her POV and we see that it's Joey, one of the three J's. Yes, that Joey. He now has short hair with frosted tips but otherwise looks the same as he did in high school. He recognizes Sandi.

"Sandi Griffin!?"

Cut back to third person.

"Joey Black!?"

Cut to a nearby Starbucks, a short time later. Sandi and Joey are catching up.

Sandi said "So, what have you been doing since high school?"

Joey said "Jeffy went to State U while me and Jamie went to Lawndale State."

"How are they?"

Joey said "I don't know. After 9/11 Jamie dropped out and joined the Army. I lost touch with him after that. Jeffy stayed at State U and after a while I lost touch with him, too. I got a degree in business and now I work at Grace, Sloan and Paige. You?"

Sandi sighs. She was afraid this would come up.

She said "To be honest, my life hasn't been all that great since graduation. I went to Carter Community College but had to drop out after one year. I was forced to live in a homeless shelter until I could get a job."

Joey is stunned. Sandi braces herself for a put down.

"What happened? Why did you drop out and have to live in a shelter until you got a job?"

Sandi is surprised. Joey's tone isn't condescending at all. He's geniunely concerned. Sandi is visibly relieved by this.

"I...well...Let's just say that my mother and I had a falling out. She cut me off. I dropped out of college because I couldn't afford it."

Joey asked "What happened?"

Sandi thought _He seems to genuinely be concerned. That's so sweet._

"If you don't mind, it's not something I like to talk about."

Joey accepts this.

"So, what are you doing now?"

Sandi is now nervous. She doesn't want him knowing that she's a stripper.

"I...I'd rather not say. It's kind of embarrassing."

She decides to change the subject.

"I'm surprised you didn't ask me about Quinn."

"I didn't think about her until you mentioned her just now. In fact, I haven't thought about her in years."

Sandi is intrigued.

"You're over your crush on her, then?"

Joey said "Once she wasn't around all the time she was surprisingly easy to get over. Sometimes I think back to those days and wanna kick myself. So many other girls I could've been happy with and I had to waste all of my time pursuing Quinn."

Sandi actually smiles warmly when she hears this, which Joey notices.

"You know, you're actually very beautiful when you smile. You should do it more often."

Now Sandi blushes slightly.

Joey said "Since you brought it up, what has Quinn been doing these past five years?"

Sandi said "She came back to Lawndale after graduating college. She's now her father's business partner. She also has a live in boyfriend, Jim Carbone."

"That's cool. Are you seeing anyone?"

"Unfortunately, no. You?"

"Recently dumped. She ditched me for some guy she was screwing on the side."

Sandi looks sympathetic.

* * *

At their apartment that evening Quinn and Jim are at the kitchen table having dinner and talking.

Quinn asked "What are you going as, Jim?"

Jim said "Mack and I discussed that at work today. He got an invitation, too. Since Tom has a version of the game Rock Band and one of the songs on it is "Beat It" we decided he's go as a "Thriller" era Michael Jackson and I'd go as a "1984" era Eddie Van Halen. You?"

"I'm going as a sexy succubus."

Jim perks up significantly when he hears this.

"Sweet! I can be a rock star with a demon groupie."

Quinn looks thoughtful.

"Jim, why did Tom invite all of us, even people he doesn't know very well?"

"My theory is that he's starting on a downward spiral a la Howard Hughes."

Quinn, who no longer pretends to be an airhead, giggles. The phone rings.

She said "I'll get it."

She answers the phone.

"Hello...Oh, Hi, Sandi."

Sandi is on the other end of the line.

"Quinn, you will not believe who I ran into today. Remember Joey Black."

"One of my three most devoted admirers in high school. How could I forget? How is he?"

Sandi said "He works at Grace, Sloane and Paige now. He apparently is the guy who replaced Jim at his old job. He's also been invited to the costume party."

Quinn suddenly has a very suspicious expression.

She said "I wonder why Tom invited all of us. I get why he invited me, Jim and Joey, but he also invited you, Stacy, Chuck, Mack, Tiffany, Kevin and Brittany and he barely knows any of you guys."

Sandi said "Stacy's 401K is handled by Grace, Sloane and Paige so that might be how Tom knows her. I have no idea why he invited anyone else, though. To the matter at hand. Joey and I got to talking and he was complimenting me. It was really sweet."

Quinn has a knowing look on her face.

"Why don't you go with him to the party? You know, like a date."

Sandi looks nervous.

"Um, Quinn, I don't think that's a good idea. We had coffee and caught up, but that was the first time I've seen him since high school. I barely know what kind of person he is now."

"Sandi, the way you're talking about him makes it obvious that you're interested. Maybe he's interested too."

"Quinn, I didn't tell him everything. He knows I had a falling out with my mother but he doesn't know that I'm bisexual."

"Sandi, he's a guy. He'll probably think it's a turn on that you go both ways."

"I also didn't tell him that I'm a stripper. What if he holds it against me?"

"If he does then he's not worth it. Just think about it. You obviously like him."

"Okay. Bye, Quinn."

"Bye, Sandi."

They hang up.

Jim asked "What was that about?"

Quinn said "Sandi ran into Joey Black. He's one of those guys I told you about, from high school."

"The ones who spent all four years trying to woo you."

Quinn sits down and looks serious.

"Jim, I'm worried. I suspect that Tom wants to humiliate you in front of everyone you know."

Jim thinks Quinn's overreacting.

"Quinn, he's more mature than that. He's not vindictive or evil. He's just unintentionally inconsiderate. He does tend to be a dick without realizing it."

Quinn realizes that she's being a bit of a drama queen.

"It's just, well, you know how I worry."

Jim said "Quinn, it's okay. You grew up here so it's inevitable that I'll run into guys who used to have a crush on you. It's really no big deal."

Quinn looks relieved.

* * *

 **Music:** "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls

We see a montage of each of the Former Fashion Clubbers changing into their costumes. We start with Quinn taking off her shirt. Cut to outside her window and we see her sillouette begin to remove her bra. Next, we see Sandi emerge from her bathroom wrapped in a towel. She begins to untie the towel. Cut to her feet and we see the towel land on the floor behind her. Now that I've serviced those of you with a foot fetish we cut to Stacy. Stacy begins to unbutton her shirt. Cut to Tiffany applying eye shadow. After this, we see an open drawer. Quinn's hand reaches in and pulls out red pantyhose with a red pointed tail attached. Next, Sandi's hand picking up a pair of black fishnet pantyhose. Next, we see Chuck in his red silk bathrobe. Cut to his POV and we see Stacy from the shoulders up. The camera starts to move down but cuts out before we see anything inappropiate. Cut to a close up of Quinn's legs as she pulls the red panty hose up. Cut to Sandi's foot as she begins to pull the fishnets up. Next, a sillouette of Stacy and Chuck making out. Cut to a dishelved Chuck putting his bathrobe back on. Cut to a shot of Stacy placing the bunny ears on her head. Cut to Quinn putting a red pair of devil horns on. Next, Stacy checking herself out in the mirror. She is wearing a blue Playboy bunny suit with sequenced high heel shoes. Cut to Chuck dressed as Hugh Hefner.

"Grrrr, feisty."

Cut to Sandi checking herself out in the mirror. Her maid outfit is a low cut black mid-driff top with white lace that shows a lot of cleavage. She has a black mini-skirt with white lace and a small apron. She has fishnet panty hose and black hig heel shoes.

 _All of the guys are going to drool over me._

Cut to Quinn and Jim's apartment. Jim is wearing a sky blue muscle shirt with images of black die all over. He has a red bandanna around his neck and a shoulder length wig of shaggy brown hair. He's also wearing shredded blue jeans and vintage Nike sneakers. As an accessory he has an electric guitar that is painted red with white stripes in a wild pattern. His jaw drops as the door to the bedroom opens. Cut to his POV and we see Quinn in her succubuc costume. She has a pair of red horns on her head. The top is a red tube top that shows a lot of midriff and cleavage that has red bat wings on the back. She's wearing red pantyhose with a devil tail on the back over red panties. The shoes are red high-heel sandals.

Quinn asked "What do you think, honey?"

Jim is stunned speechless.

* * *

 **The night of the party...**

The house is a white two-story mini-mansion. There is a thunderstorm raging and we hear a loud clap of thunder and a flash of lightning. It is literally a dark and stormy night.

 **Music:** "Dance, Dance, Dance" by Earth, Wind and Fire

Inside, the party is in full swing. Everyone is in costumes. Cut to Joey. He's wearing a blue tunic with three gold crowns over chain mail. Cut to Mack dancing with a girl. Mack is wearing a red leather jacket over a blue and white T-shirt, black pants with white socks and black shoes, a white glove with silver sequins on his right hand. He's grown out his hair and styled it with jehri curl. Cut to Kevin and Brittany dancing. Brittany is wearing her old cheerleading uniform while Kevin is wearing his old football jersey. While Brittany's uniform still fits her perfectly Kevin's jersey is now too tight due to his beer gut and man boobs. Cut to the refreshment table and we see Chuck, Stacy, Sandi, Quinn and Jim, all in costume.

Sandi asked "Where's Tiffany?"

Stacy said "Yeah, what's keeping her?"

Quinn suggested "Maybe she wants to be fashionably late."

Sandi said "Quinn, there's a difference between fashionably late and just plain rude."

Jim notices something and points.

"There she is?"

Tiffany is wearing a pointed hat and a black robe over her whole body, showing no curves at all. She has a long fake nose and a fake wart on her left cheek. Cut back to the other three girls whose expressions are a mixture of shock and disappointment.

"Sooorrry...I'mmm...laate."

Sandi said "Tiffany, what are you supposed to be?"

"I'mmm...aaaa...wiiitch. Isn't...thaat...whaat...weee...agreeeed...onnnn?"

Sandi said "You were supposed to be a sexy witch."

"Buuut...witches...arrre...uuuugly."

Quinn said "Not sexy witches."

Tiffany looks vacant.

"Whaat?"

"Never mind."

* * *

Joey is talking with Kevin and Brittany.

Kevin said "Dude, long time no see. What are you, a ninja?"

Brittany said "Kevy, he's not a ninja. Joey, you're an astronaut, right?"

Joey is a little disappointed. Kevin and Brittany are just as dense as they were in high school.

"I'm Sir Lancelot."

Kevin said "Cool. What team did he play for?"

Joey sighs. Cut to his POV and we see the Former Fashion Club with Chuck and Jim. Cut to Sandi's POV and we see Joey smile and wave at her. Cut to third person and Sandi blushes, which Quinn notices.

Quinn said "What are you waiting for, Sandi? Go talk to him."

Sandi said "If memory serves, Quinn, the guy is supposed to approach the girl."

Jim said "I saw him smile and wave at you, Sandi. Trust me, he's interested."

"Then why doesn't he come over and talk to me?"

Jim explained "He thinks you're out of his league and feels intimidated. When Quinn and I met she had to make the first move. I wanted to talk to Quinn first but didn't until she was talking to me. In fact, I remember thinking "No way a girl that hot would be interested in me.""

Quinn smiles.

"Boy, were you ever wrong about that. Just go talk to him, Sandi."

Sandi looks hesitant.

"Okay."

She walks over to Joey.

"Hey."

"Hi, Sandi."

Sandi asked "Are you, like, a knight or something?"

"Sir Lancelot."

"That's cool."

Joey said "So, you're a sexy maid."

"Yes."

"I like it. You look hot."

Sandi blushes. Suddenly, there's a loud crack of thunder followed by the sound of howling coming from outside. Kevin and Brittany both scream.

Kevin said "What was that?"

Brittany said "Oh, Kevy, I think there's a werewolf outside."

Sandi rolls her eyes.

"Brittany, there's no such thing as werewolves."

Kevin said "Like, how would you know?"

Sandi sighs.

* * *

Outside of Tom's house is the shadow of something that looks like a dog and we hear...

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

 **Meanwhile, inside...**

Quinn, Jim, Tiffany, Stacy and Chuck are still talking when they are approached by Tom. Tom is wearing a 40's business suit. The right side of his face looks normal but the left side is made up to look hidoeusly deformed. Quinn eyes him suspisiously.

Tom asked "Everyone having a good time?"

Jim said "Of course."

Stacy said "Thanks for inviting us."

"My pleasure."

Chuck said "You're supposed to be Two Face, right?"

"One of my favorite super villains."

Quinn, in a dismissive tone, said "How appropriate."

Before Tom can ask about the attitude Mack approaches the group.

"Thanks for inviting us, Tom."

"No problem, Mack."

Mack turned to Jim.

"Jim, you ready?"

"Of course."

As they leave Quinn eyes Tom suspiciously.

"Tom, I'd like to have a word with you...in private."

She and Tom leave.

* * *

In the kitchen Quinn and Tom are having a discussion.

Tom said "Okay, Quinn, what do you want to talk about?"

Quinn said "Tom, what kind of game are you playing? I mean, except for me, Jim and Joey you don't know anyone here."

Tom notes the cold tone of Quinn's voice.

"Quinn, what's your problem?"

"My problem is that last spring you said something to Jim that made him feel so insecure that he nearly ruined Stacy and Chuck's wedding. Then you sent Jim to Japan and..."

"That was my father."

Quinn said "Let me finish. He leaves Grace, Sloane and Paige and you blacklist him, don't try to deny it. Now you throw a huge party and invite everyone, including a guy who used to have a crush on me. Since you broke up with Daria have you become so bitter that you now get your kicks by making people miserable? And don't lie to me. I always know when a guy is lying to me."

Tom said "If I had it in for Jim, then why do you think I invited him here?"

"You want to make him insecure, that's why I think you invited Joey. You want Jim to make a scene and humiliate himself in public. That's why you invited everyone we know."

Tom said "Quinn, you couldn't be more wrong. I'm not some petty, embittered person who gets his kicks out of making people miserable. I don't have it in for anyone. I didn't blacklist Jim, I don't know who did. In fact, no one ever called us to reference Jim when he was looking for a job."

"Why'd you invite a bunch of people you don't know, then?"

Tom sighs and hangs his head in shame.

"I wanted to make some new friends. Everyone I know is either an employee, someone who's only nice to me because I'm rich or people who think I'm Satan incarnate. I'm...well, I'm lonely."

Quinn visibly softens.

"I believe you now. I'm sorry I was such a bitch."

Tom said "No need to apologize. You were just looking out for your man."

They both smile.

* * *

 **Music:** "Beat It" by Michael Jackson, feat. Eddie Van Halen

Jim and Mack are playing Rock Band. They are actually putting on a show for everyone. Cut to the rest of the crowd dancing and having fun. Cut back to Mack and Jim. Mack is singing along while Jim is using the guitar controller to hit the notes.

 **Mack:** "Beat it, beat it

No one wants to be defeated

No, you're not funky

No, you just fight

It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it

Beat it, beat it, beat it"

The guitar solo begins. Jim blazes into Eddie's solo with the same wild abandon that the 80's guitar icon was noted for. He hits every note perfectly. After the solo cut to the crowd and we see Sandi and Joey dancing. After the song...

Sandi said "Um, Joey, can we, like, go somewhere and talk? In private."

"Sure."

* * *

In a spare room Sandi and Joey are seated on the couch and talking.

Sandi said "Joey, I need to tell you some things."

"Okay."

Sandi takes a deep breath.

"I, well, like you. Like, like like you. That's why I need to tell you some things about me, things you might not like."

Joey looks intrigued.

Sandi said "I work as a dancer."

Joey asked "What makes you think I'd have a problem with that?"

"Because I dance at Cafe Risque. I'm an exotic dancer. I...well, I'm not proud of it but I need the money."

Joey listens as Sandi goes on.

Sandi said "During my first semester at college I discovered I'm actually bisexual. I fell in love with a girl. When we came out to my family my mother completely disowned me. After that, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. With no money I had to drop out of college and work at Food Lord. I lived in the homeless shelter until I'd saved enough money to rent an apartment. When the rent got too high to afford on a checkout girls wages I took a job as a stirpper."

Sandi sighs.

"Pathetic, isn't it?"

Joey said "No. Sandi, you were dealt a shitty hand and had to make the best of it. I like you. I don't care if you're a stripper, I don't care that you're into both girls and guys. I...I want to go out with you."

Sandi is both relieved and touched. She and Joey slowly lean into each other. Finally, they kiss. They get so into it that Sandi straddles Joey's lap as they kiss hungrily. Sandi moans into Joey's mouth. Suddenly, there's a loud crack of thunder that startles them both. A second crack and a flash of lightning. Cut to their POV and we see a snarling dog-like creature out through the window. Cut back to third person.

Sandi and Joey: "AHHHHHHHH! WEREWOLF!"

They run out of the room in terror.

* * *

The thunderstorm continues to rage outside while inside the party remains in full swing. We see Chuck, Stacy, Tiffany, Quinn and Jim are talking. At this point they are approached by Kevin and Brittany. There's another clap of thunder and a howling noise that startles them.

Stacy said "EEP! What was that?"

Tiffany said "I...thiinnk...it...waaas...thundeerrrrrr."

"Not that. The howling sound."

Quinn said "Stacy, I'm pretty sure that was just the wind."

Kevin said "No, there's a werewolf out there."

Brittany said "It's true."

Obviously, no one believes them. As if on cue, Sandi and Joey come running toward them.

Sandi said "There's a werewolf out there."

Joey added "It's true."

Kevin said "See, I told you."

Quinn rolls her eyes.

"Don't tell me you actually believe Kevin."

Sandi said "I didn't at first. But there really is a werewolf out there."

Joey said "We saw it."

Quinn doesn't buy it for a second. She does believe that they are both genuinly scared, though.

"That howling was just the wind and whatever you saw was just a figment of your imagination. There's no such thing as werewolves."

Jim has a thought.

"Maybe it wasn't a figment of their imagination."

Quinn rolls her eyes in disbelief.

"Oh, Jim, not you too."

Jim said "I don't think it was a werewolf, but it might have been a dog."

At this point, Tom approaches.

Tom asked "What are you guys talking about?"

Joey said "Me, Sandi, Kevin and Brittany know there's a werewolf out there but no one believes us."

Jim asked "Tom, do you have a dog?"

"No, and I wouldn't leave it out in this weather if I did."

Now, Jim looks a little scared. Cut to outside and we hear...

"Snarrrrrrlllllll! Grrrrrr!"

* * *

 **Music:** "Superstitious" by Stevie Wonder

The group is still debating whether or not there is a werewolf out there.

Joey said "Look, I know it sounds crazy but me and Sandi really did see a werewolf."

Stacy said "You know, there may be something out there."

Quinn starts to lose her patience.

"Stacy, remember that time you wished Sandi would shut up and she got layringitis?"

Just then, there's a deafining clap of thunder and the house goes dark.

Whole crowd: "AAAAHHHHHHH!"

Tom said "Just a power outage. I'll get a flashlight."

We hear Tom walk off. Next, we hear...

"AAAWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Kevin, Brittany, Sandi and Stacy: "EEP!"

Joey said "It's right outside the front door!"

Tom comes back with a flashlight. Quinn decides she's had enough of this foolishness.

"Gimmie that!"

She snatches the flashlight from Tom and makes her way to the door. She opens it and something, we don't see what, but something runs into the house and runs to the kitchen, nearly knocking Quinn over in the process.

Jim shouted "QUINN!"

Kevin screamed "AHHHH! WE'RE GONNA DIE!"

Jim runs over to Quinn and helps her up.

"Are you alright?"

Quinn said "I'm fine, I was just tripped by something."

Kevin said "See, it is a werewolf."

Quinn said "It's not a werewolf. It was either a small dog or a cat. I saw where it went."

Quinn walks toward the kitchen when Jim stops her. Jim follows her.

* * *

Quinn is searching the kitchen with a flashlight while Jim follows her close behind.

"oooo..ooooo...hmmmm..."

Quinn immediately turns her flashlight on the source of the whimpering. Cut to her POV and we see...a small German Shepard. The dog is just a puppy. It immediately looks at Quinn with big, sad eyes.

"Awwww! Jim, it's a puppy. Come here, puppy. Come on."

The puppy approaches Quinn and sniffs her hand. The dogs fur is wet so Jim gets a dishrag and hands it to Quinn. As she towels the dog off it starts to happily wag it's tail.

Jim said "No collar. You think it was abandoned?"

Quinn feels something as she towels the dog off.

"I think so. I can feel the puppy's rib cage."

Quinn looks at the dog.

"You poor thing, you must be starving."

Miraculiously, at this moment the lights come back on. Jim looks in the refridgerator and sees some ground beef. He puts it in a bowl. Cut back to Quinn, cuddling the puppy. Jim hands her the food and she places it before the dog, who immediately gobbles it all up.

Quinn said "That's why the dog wanted to get in so badly. It was hungry and scared."

Finished eating, the puppy goes to Quinn. She picks the pup off of the ground and gradles him in her arms. Jim sees the shaft, confirming that the dog is male. The dog happily licks Quinn's face.

Quinn said "Awwww! Aren't you just the most precious little thing."

Jim asked "What do you wanna do with him?"

"Let's keep him." (to the puppy) "That's right, little puppy. Mommy will take care of you from now on."

Jim is visibly moved by Quinn's display of maternal instinct.

* * *

Quinn and Jim approach the rest of their group. Quinn is cradling the puppy in her arms and shows him to everyone.

"Here's your werewolf."

Stacy said "Oh, Quinn, that puppy's so cute."

Stacy rubs the pup behind his ears.

Chuck asked "Are you keeping it?"

Quinn said "Yes, we decided to name him Storm."

Sandi said "So, he's a boy?"

"Yes. He was obviously abandoned. He was trying to get in because he was hungry and scared."

Quinn continues to cuddle Storm. Everyone is visibly moved by this.

* * *

 **Next Time**

Quinn and Jim spend Thanksgiving with his parents in Long Island.


	6. Meet The Carbones

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme:** "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne

We see Quinn and Jim having a romantic dinner. Next, we see Quinn entertaining clients while Jake beams proudly. We then see Eric trying to boss Helen around, but Helen is having none of it. Cut to Stacy and Chuck holding hands while Sandi looks on enviously. Kevin and Brittany are making out in the girls locker room while Brittany is supposed to be coaching. Cut to Mr. DeMartino going totally beserk. Cut to Quinn having a girls night out with Stacy and Lindy. Montage ends with Quinn's smiling face in front of a pink background. Below that:

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Meet the Carbones"**

 **written by**

 **WildDogJJ**

Late afternoon on Long Island, NY sees Quinn Morgendorffer and her boyfriend, Jim Carbone, walking along the Long Island Sound. Quinn is holding her dog, Storm, on a leash while admiring the beauty of it all. Jim is very quiet, which she notices.

Quinn said "You're unusually quiet. Something on your mind, Jim?"

Jim said "I'm just nervous. I mean, having you over to spend Thanksgiving with my parents has me a little on edge."

"Are you afraid they won't like me?"

"It's not that. I'm more afraid that they'll embarrass me. Especially if my father tries to pick a fight with me."

Quinn smiled reassuringly.

She said "Don't worry, Jim. I'm dating you, not them."

Jim looked out on the water.

He said "This place brings back a bad memory. See, I used to walk out here with my dad in the evenings. Mom wasn't a big fan of his after dinner cigar and Dad...Well, Dad was never a big fan of me. I was about six or seven when I tried to impress him by building a sandcastle."

Jim starts to mimic his father.

"I was like "What do you think, Dad" and he'd be like "I think it's a waste of time, kid. You got too much of an imagination for your own good. You don't go anywheres by dreamin', building castles in the sand." He actually said that to me. I just never seemed to be good enough for him."

Quinn looks sympathetic.

She asked "How old were you when you realized he was wrong?"

Jim sighed.

"Who ever said he was wrong?"

Quinn was saddened to hear him say that.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, in Lawndale...**

Jane and Daria are walking up to the front door of the Morgendorffer house.

Jane said "Thanks for letting me spend Thanksgiving with your family this year. Those weirdos at the commune last year were too much even for me."

Daria said "At least you didn't spend last Thanksgiving with a psychotic grandmother and her stuck up friends while watching your cousin be publically humiliated by her now ex-husband."

Jane replied "I wonder if any dysfunction awaits us this year."

"How long have you known my parents?"

"Point taken."

Daria rings the doorbell. Helen answers.

"Daria, Jane, welcome."

Helen hugs Daria.

Daria said "Hi, Mom."

Jane said "Thanks for having me over, Mrs. Morgendorffer."

Helen said "Our pleasure."

She leads Daria and Jane into the house. They go to the kitchen where Jake is cooking...something.

Helen said "Jake, Daria and Jane are here."

Jake smiles. He leaves the stove to hug his daughter.

"Welcome home, kiddo."

Daria said "Hey, Dad."

Jake next acknowledges Jane.

"Hey, Jane-o, long time no see."

Jane smiles and nods. Jake may be a total goofball, but he's a lovable goofball.

"Hi, Mr. Morgendorffer."

Jake said "You're just in time for my latest culinary creation: Tobasco boiled cabbage a la Jake."

Daria, Jane and Helen frown with dread at the thought of eating such a concoction.

* * *

 **Long Island...**

Quinn and Jim pull up to a two story house on a suburban street. The house is red brick with white siding and has a porch. Quinn and Jim, with Storm on a leash, walk up to the front door. Jim rings the bell. The door is answered by a petite woman in her fifties with hair that is the same medium brown as Jim's. She is Gina Carbone, Jim's mother.

Jim said "Hi, Mom. We're here."

Gina immediately hugs Jim.

"Jim, how are you?"

"I'm good, Mom."

Gina releases Jim from her hug. She immediately smiles at Quinn.

"You must be Quinn. Jim's told me all about you."

They shake hands.

Quinn said "Hello, Mrs. Carbone."

Gina said "Please, call me Gina."

Gina looks at the German Shepard puppy the Quinn has on a leash. She immediately kneels and scratches Storm behind the ears. Storm happily wags his tail in response.

Gina said "Well, aren't you just an adorable little puppy." She looks up at Quinn. "What's it's name."

Quinn said "We named him Storm."

Jim added "We were at a costume party and he broke into the place during a thunderstorm. We decided to keep him."

Gina stands up and smiles at them both. Just then...

"That you, baby brother."

Out comes Jim's brother, Chris Carbone, and his wife, Brooke. Chris is a tall and muscular twenty-nine year old with a perfectly chisled face, a California tan, and jet black hair like his father. Brooke is a twenty-seven year old blonde with a dark tan, disporportionately large (and fake) boobs, and speaks with a valley girl accent.

Jim said "Jeez, Chris, do you have to call me that in public."

Chris said "Embarrassing you's part of the job, Bro."

Brooke shakes Jim's hand.

"So, like, I hear you're a mechanic now."

"That's right."

Brooke's voice takes on a dismissive tone.

"Oh, that's too bad."

Jim points out Quinn.

"I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Quinn Morgendorffer. Quinn, my brother, Chris, and his wife, Brooke."

Quinn shakes both their hands.

"Pleased to meet you."

Chris said "The pleasures ours."

Brooke says nothing. As she shakes Quinn's hand she looks at Jim in disbelief. As the rest make their way into the house Brooke and Chris stay back for a moment.

Brooke asked "How did a dork like your brother get a hottie like her?"

Chris shrugs.

"Beats the shit out of me."

They join the others in the house.

* * *

 **Music:** "Family Man" by Daryl Hall and John Oates

Inside, the Carbone house has a large living room. Off to the right is a large fireplace and a big screen TV. Two sofas are arranged in an L pattern around the TV. Directly in front is an opening that leads to a dinning room and to the right of that is a door that leads to a downstairs guest room. On the left side of the living room are stairs that lead to an upstairs balcony over the living room that is part of the upstairs hallway. The door farthest to the left is to Jim's old room while the one in the middle is Chris' old room and the one farthest to the left is the master bedroom. On the living room sofa Jim's father, Tony, is watching TV. Next to him is a fifty-something man in a Hawaiian shirt and khaki pants who's overweight and wears gaudy jewelry. He is Tony's brother, Vito. Quinn takes Storm off of his leash and the dog runs over to Tony, nearly causing him to spill his beer.

"Dammit." said Tony, "Who's goddamn mutt is this?"

Jim scowled.

"That's my 'goddamn mutt', Dad."

Jim and Quinn walk up to Tony to say hi.

"Hey, Dad."

Tony said "How's the crap job?"

Jim said "I actually like it."

"Don't you back talk me."

Jim said "Dad, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Quinn."

Quinn said "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Carbone."

She extends her hand but Tony doesn't even acknowledge that she's there. Quinn is visibly put off by this.

Vito said "Don't mind him. He's in one of his bad moods."

Vito smiles and walks toward the young couple.

"Yo, Jimmy, how ya been?"

Vito and Jim hug.

"I'm good, Uncle Vito. You?"

"You know me, can't keep an old guido down."

Vito turns his attention to Quinn.

"And who's this lovely vision?"

Quinn said "I'm his girlfriend, Quinn Morgendorffer."

When Quinn extends her hand Vito takes it in his and kisses it.

"Che bella."

He lets go of Quinn's hand. She is visibly flattered.

"I'm Vito, Jim's uncle. I gotta say, my nephew can sure pick 'em."

Tony said "Yeah, he picks one who makes him ditch a great career to work in a garage. Jim, when you gonna learn to control your woman."

Quinn wants to tell Tony off, but before she can there's a crashing sound from the kitchen. This is followed by an elderly womans voice.

"CHE CAZZO FANGUL MANAGGIA LA MISREIA! SVACEEM FIGLIO DELLA PUTANA! CHE MINCA!"

( **A/N:** You do not want me to repeat that in English.)

Quinn and Jim head to the kitchen. Inside they find the salad spilled all over the floor and a short woman in her eighties wearing a mumu and scowling. Her name is Angela Carbone, Jim's grandmother. When Angela speaks it's with a heavy lower east side accent with a voice that's the result of decades of chain smoking.

Angela said "I can't believe I dropped the goddamn salad on the floor."

Quinn and Gina bend over to clean up the mess. Angela notices Jim and cheers up.

"Oh, Jim, how are you?"

She and Jim hug.

"I'm good, Nonna."

Angela notices Quinn.

"Who's this?"

Quinn introduces herself.

"I'm Quinn, Jim's girlfriend."

Angela shakes Quinn's hand.

"Glad to meet ya, sweetie. Did I ever tell you about the time I met Frank Sinatra in person? If only I'd met him before my late piece of shit husband."

Angela goes to the gas stove and uses the flame to light a cigarette. Quinn is visibly concerned by this.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, in Lawndale...**

Daria and Jane are at Food Lord supermarket getting supplies for Thanksgiving dinner. Daria is pushing the shopping cart while Jane loads it.

Daria said "I'm surprised my parents sent us to stock up. Usually, Mom just calls a catering service."

Jane smirks wickedly.

"Maybe they wanted some alone time. They're probably used to getting it on daily again."

Daria scowls.

"Thank you for an image I'll need a decade of therapy to get out of my head, Jane."

"Hey, what are friends for."

At this point the two aren't watching where they're going. So they bump into someone.

"Hey, like, watch it!"

Daria and Jane both gasp.

Daria said "Sandi Griffin!?"

It's Sandi, alright.

"Daria, Jane!?"

Jane said "What are you doing here?"

Sandi said "Shopping, duh."

Daria said "I think she meant what are you doing in town for Thanksgiving?"

Now, Sandi looks really sad.

"Quinn didn't tell you?"

Jane asked "Tell us what?"

"That I was disowned after I came out as bisexual."

Daria said "No, she didn't. She did tell us about Joey, though. Why aren't you spending Thanksgiving with him?"

Sandi explained "We've only been a couple for a few weeks. It's too soon for that. Also, he's spending Thanksgiving with his grandparents in Florida and I can't take time off for...reasons."

She thought _Those reasons being that I'm a stripper booked to perform at a bachelor party on Friday._

Jane asked "So, what are you doing for Thanksgiving, then?"

Sandi looks even more sad.

"Eating alone with a TV dinner."

Jane can't help grinning at the irony, which Sandi notices.

Sandi said "Yes, I know you've always wanted to do that."

Jane visibly feels bad for Sandi.

"Until I tried it. The reality didn't live up to the fantasy."

Sandi said "Well, it was...interesting to talk to you."

Sandi is about to leave when Jane gives Daria a pleading look.

"Sandi, hold up a minute. Daria, no one should be alone on Thanksgiving. I already learned that the hard way."

Daria sighs.

"Fine. Sandi, would you like to spend Thanksgiving with us?"

Sandi doesn't know whether to be shocked or touched.

* * *

 **Long Island, evening...**

At Casa Carbone the whole family is sitting down and having dinner. The food is lasagna. Real lasagna, not the microwave crap that Helen serves to save time. Quinn actually enjoys this.

Gina said "So, you really never had real lasgna before meeting Jim?"

Quinn said "No. My mom was a total workaholic who served microwave lasagna to free up more time to take phone calls from work."

Angela takes another drag on her cigarette.

"Oh, you poor thing. That microwave shit is about as real as a two dollar Rolex. It tastes like goddamn horses ass."

Tony rolls his eyes.

"So, your mother was the real man of the house. That explains alot."

Quinn notes the hostility in Tony's voice.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you were raised with an ass backwards view of gender. Your mother was the man and your father was the woman in that marriage. So that's why you've got my spineless younger son totally whipped."

Gina said "Tony, could we not, please?"

Tony resumes eating while Quinn stares daggers at him. Jim is noticeably uncomfortable. Chris decides to break the tension.

"So, Quinn, what do you do for a living?"

Quinn said "I'm a marketing consultant. When my father had a heart attack I ran the business for him while he recovered. I was so good at it that when my father was able to work again he made me his business partner."

Tony said "So you make more money than Jim, huh. Some damn man."

Gina sternly said "Tony."

Tony immediately backs off.

Vito said "Don't mind my brother, Quinn."

Chris added "Yeah, he's just trying to toughen Jim up. He doesn't mean to be such a jerk."

Tony seems to have no problem with his eldest son calling him a jerk.

Jim said "Yeah, you get used to him being like that."

Tony does have a problem with his younger son saying that. He stares menacingly at Jim.

"You got a problem wit' me, you ingrate?"

Gina said "Now, Tony..."

"Quiet, woman. This is between me and the boy."

Tony gets up and walks over to Jim and Quinn, trying to intimidate them both by towering over them.

"I said do you got a problem wit' me. Now, answer me or I will kick your ass."

Nervous, Jim said "No, I...I was just explaining to Quinn that..."

Tony immediately smacks Jim upside the head before returning to his seat.

"Speak only when spoken to from now on."

Brooke, Chris' wife, decides to break the tension.

"So, like, what are the sleeping arrangements?"

Tony commanded "You and Chris in Chris' old room, my mother and Jim in Jim's old room, Vito in the guest room."

Quinn is now more than a little upset.

"Hey! What about me and the dog?"

Tony said "Dog sleeps wit' Jim and Ma."

Gina stares daggers at her husband.

"Tony, honey, where will Quinn sleep?"

"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Jim, after dinner I want you to set up the tent in the back yard."

Quinn and Jim both stare daggers at Tony. Tony's response is to shake his fist at them both.

"You don't like it you can both sleep in the f-in' street."

Quinn and Jim both sigh.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, in Lawndale...**

 **Music:** "All the Pretty Faces" by The Killers

In the kitchen of the Morgendorffer house Daria, Jane, Jake and Helen are having dinner. Like the Carbones, they're having lasagna. Unlike the Carbones, this is the pre-packaged microwave shit that has been a staple of the Morgendorffer diet since God knows when.

Daria said "There's no place like home. Especially since home cooked means put in the microwave for five minutes."

Helen asked "So, how was the shopping trip? Did you get everything?"

Jane said "Turkey: check, microwaveable vegetables: check, microwave stuffing: check, pre-baked pumpkin pie: chack."

Daria added "Workaholic Thanksgiving menu: check."

Helen ignores the sarcasm.

"So, I guess that covers everything."

Daria said "Almost. It seems we're having another guest for dinner tomorrow."

Jane explained "We ran into Sandi Griffin at the supermarket. It seems she'll have to spend Thanksgiving alone since her family disowned her. I invited her out of pity. I hope you don't mind."

Helen said "Not at all." while thinking _Especially since it's a great way to stick it to Linda._

Jake looks angry.

"She was disowned by her family!? They want nothing to do with her!? Oh, do I ever know what that's like. Being shut out! Having a parent hate your guts because they don't approve of your views! Having your father scream "HOW DARE YOU BRING THAT COMMUNIST SLUT HERE" WHEN I INTRODUCED HELEN TO MY PARENTS. WRITING ME OUT OF THE WILL FOR MARRYING HER BECAUSE OLD MAD DOG WAS A RIGID, PSYCHOTIC, HEARTLESS BASTARD WHO..."

Helen immediately steps in.

"JAKE!"

This snaps Jake out of his rant.

"Sorry. We'd love to have Sandi over."

He soon becomes angry again. He stares at the floor and shakes his fist.

"ROT IN HELL, OLD MAN!"

Daria and Jane each roll their eyes.

* * *

 **Long Island, later that evening...**

 **Music:** "Out Here All Night" by Damone

Outside, it's raining, the result of a late fall noreaster. In the Carbones backyard is a tent. Inside the tent Quinn is in her pajamas. She's not sleeping, she's too pissed off for that. She is sitting up and fuming.

 _God, Jim's father has got to be the biggest jerk on the planet. He's even worse than Grandma Emma._

Quinn smiles as she has a thought.

I should arrange a meeting between those two. If I'm lucky they'll take each other out.

At this point the tent flap opens. In hops Storm, who immediately cuddles up to Quinn. While Quinn pets Storm, Jim comes in. He folds his umbrella and sits next to Quinn.

Quinn asked "What happened?"

Jim said "Nonna Angela snores and when Storm started whinning she woke up and threw us out. Dad was so pissed that he forced me to join you out here, which I do gladly. Though Dad punched me when I said so."

Quinn looks both curious and sympathetic.

"Jim, why does your father hate me so much?"

"It's more about sticking it to me than anything to do with you."

Storm wags his tail as Quinn continues to scratch him behind his ears.

Jim said "My father has a very rigid idea of what a real man is. Chris always had a better time fitting that mold than me. As a result he openly favored Chris while treating me like shit. Chris was a varsity athelete while I was the brainy one. My lack of interest in sports as a kid caused him to completely turn on me. He was proud as punch when Chris went to Crestmore on a full athletic scholarship while his response to me going to Vance on an academic scholarship was luke warm. When Chris decided to put his marketing degree to use and headed out to California the tables turned. Chris was on Dad's shit list after that for a while. Chris and I bonded over that. Dad forgave Chris when he became successful and married a model. When I chose you over a high prestige job the old man lost his shit. He thinks I threw away my future and he blames you."

Quinn puts a hand on Jim's shoulder.

"Jim, I'm sorry."

"What for? You didn't do anything."

Quinn said "It's my fault your father treats you like shit."

Jim said "No, it isn't. He was always like that. He's just using you as an excuse to be like that."

Quinn asked "Was he always hitting you and abusing you emotionally?"

Jim nodded.

Quinn said "He actually reminds me of my grandfather, on my father's side. He died before I was born but Dad always rants about what an asshole he was. In my senior year of high school I had to do a biography of a war veteran. I picked my grandfather who was a veteran of both World War II and Korea. While doing research I discovered that he used to be a nice person but the experience of war turned him into the bastard my father was always ranting about."

Jim said "My father is an ex-Army Ranger. He won a shit ton of medals in Vietnam. He eventually became a member of Delta Force until he retired in 86. After that, he became a cop. He's now chief detective of narcotics for the NYPD. His forced retirement from the Army left him feeling bitter."

Quinn asked "Why was he forced to retire?"

Jim said "He was part of a team that oversaw the transfer of funds in the Iran/Contra scandal."

Quinn is visibly stunned.

Jim said "I didn't know about it until several years later."

* * *

 **Lawndale, the next morning...**

At the Morgendorffer house, specifically the living room, Helen, Jake, Daria, Jane and Sandi are watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV.

Sandi said "Thanks for having me over, Mr. and Mrs. Morgendorffer."

Helen said "It's our pleasure, Sandi. Sorry Quinn's not here, but she's spending Thanksgiving with Jim and his parents."

Sandi said "That's alright. I would've spent the holiday with Joey but since we've only been together for a few weeks I felt it was too soon."

Jake said "There's also the fact that Mr. Vorchevsky booked you to perform at a bachelor party tomorrow night."

Sandi's eyes go wide and she gasps.

"Mr. Morgendorffer!"

Helen, Jane and Daria are all visibly shocked.

Jake said "She works as a dancer at Cafe Risque. What's the problem?"

Embarrassed, Sandi said "I wanted to keep that quiet."

Now, Jake is embarrassed. He meant no harm but it simply didn't occur to him that Sandi might not want people to know what she does for a living.

* * *

 **Lawndale, Thanksgiving morning...**

At the Morgendorffer house Jake has just let it slip that Sandi now works as an exotic dancer. Everyone is shocked.

Jane said "You're a stripper!?"

Sandi hung her head in shame.

"Yes."

Helen asked "Why?"

"Because the rent for my apartment went up. I could no longer afford it on a checkout girls wages so I took a job at Cafe Risque. It was either that or go back to the homeless shelter."

Everyone looks sympathetic.

Sandi continued "I actually make pretty good money."

Helen said "No offense, Sandi, but that line of work caters to male chauvanism. You'll also be out of a job once your looks start to go."

Sandi said "I know. That's why I'm saving up so I can go back to college and get my associates degree. Then I can get a good paying job that doesn't require me to take my clothes off."

Daria said "At least you have a plan. I could never do something like that, but sometimes you have to play the hand your delt."

Sandi looks hopeful.

"You mean you don't think less of me because I'm a stripper?"

Jane said "Of course not. I mean, my brother is a chronically unemployed musician."

Sandi smiles.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, in Long Island...**

At the Carbone house Jim, Tony, Vito and Chris are in the living room watching TV while Quinn, Gina, Brooke and Angela are in the kitchen. Gina and Quinn are fixing antipasta salad for lunch while Angela and Brooks are working on the turkey. Brooke is not enjoying herself.

"Ewwww!" she said "You want me to actually take the birds guts out with my bare hands."

Quinn gives Brooke a sympathetic look.

Angela said "Thats how ya do it, Brooke. I'd do it but I'm f-in' old."

Angela gets out a cigarette and lights it. Brooke reaches for the turkey but hesitates.

Angela said "California softie. Quinn, come here."

Quinn reluctantly walks toward Angela. Angela takes a drag from her cigarette and exhales. The smoke drifts toward Quinn, causing her to cough.

Angela said "Quinn, you gut the turkey. Brooke, you help Gina with the antipasta."

Brooke said "Thank God."

Quinn reaches in to the turkey. The guys continue to watch TV when coming from the kitchen they hear...

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

All four of the guys wince in pain at the sound of Quinn's voice.

Tony said "Jim, tell your woman to shut up."

Vito said "Aw, lay offa him, Tony."

Tony gives Vito a death glare.

Chris said "Dad, I think I'll help the girls."

Tony barked "No you won't! That's womans work. Jim, you help the women since you act so much like one."

"But, Dad..."

Tony raises the back of his hand.

"DO IT!"

Jim scampers to the kitchen.

* * *

 **Lawndale, that evening...**

Helen, Jake, Daria, Jane and Sandi are eating Thanksgiving dinner and making light conversation.

Sandi said "This is actually pretty good."

Jane said "Better than the food at my house when I was growing up."

Daria added "Cyanide is better than the food at your old house."

Sandi couldn't help but laugh.

"I know. I've got so many horror stories from my elementary school days."

Helen was intrigued.

"You've actually been to the Lanes house?"

Sandi said "You don't know? In elementary school Jane and I were actually friends."

Helen asked "What happened?"

"After I was held back in fifth grade my mother forced me to stop hanging out with Jane. By the time I was in middle school I'd fallen in with the elitest popular crowd. I wound up throwing Jane under the bus for the sake of popularity."

Now, Sandi looks sad.

"Fat lot of good it did me. My life sucks."

Jane sympathetically puts a hand on Sandi's shoulder.

"It's alright, Sandi. I understand, we drifted apart."

Helen said "I still can't believe Linda disowned you for being bisexual."

Sandi said "I just can't get past it. I wasted the first 19 years of my life trying to be what my mother wanted me to be. I sometimes think back on what might have been if I hadn't been held back in fifth grade."

Jane said "I guess the dynamic duo of me and Daria would've been a trio. Maybe you could've even acknowledged your bisexuality sooner."

Sandi said "I doubt it. Even if I knew back then I would've kept it a closely guarded secret to avoid rumors. I probably shouldn't say this, but before Jane started dating that Tom guy there were rumors that you two were...well, you know...um..."

Jane said "...lesbian lovers."

Sandi is stunned.

"You knew!?"

Jane said "We knew."

Daria added "We just didn't care."

Sandi smiles warmly.

* * *

 **Long Island...**

The Carbones and Quinn are having Thanksgiving dinner. Quinn smiles at Jim.

"Thanks for helping, honey."

Jim said "No problem."

Gina said "I really appreciate it, son."

Angela said "Jim's such a good boy."

Tony rolls his eyes.

"That's right, encourage him. I sometimes think I have a daughter instead of a son."

Jim stares daggers at his father.

Tony said "You got something on you mind, kid?"

Chris said "Now, Dad..."

Tony interrupted "Let your brother fight his own battles."

Tony glares menacingly at Jim and his voice takes on a very agressive tone.

"I axed you a question, Jim."

Jim finally finds his courage.

"Dad, what's with the attitude? I know you're moody, but you've been like that in the extreme ever since me and Quinn showed up."

Tony said "You really wanna know? Awright, I'll tell ya. You had a good thing going at Grace, Sloan and Paige until you went and f-ed it all up for this red haired little (word Ms. Wild doesn't like, starts with a T). I thought you were finally gonna go somewheres I could be proud of, but nooooo, you had to be a bum."

Jim said "Sorry you feel that way, Dad, but I'd appreciate it if you don't call my girlfriend a -."

Tony gets up from his chair. He pours himself a glass of red wine. He then walks over to Quinn.

"Here, on me."

He pours it over Quinn's head, making her gasp in shock.

"Better yet, on you. HA, HA, HA."

Jim immediately gets in Tony's face.

"DAD, WHAT THE F-!?"

Tony grabs Jim by the shirt collar and backhands him. He then yells right in Jim's face.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO BACKTALK ME, YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT."

He mercilessly smacks Jim until Jim punches him. Tony staggers back before using his combat training to lock Jim into a choke hold.

"I OUTA BREAK YOU NECK, YOU BASTERD!"

Gina yelled "TONY, NO!"

Chris said "Jeez, Dad. What the hell are you doing?"

"SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO TEACH THE BOY A LESSON!"

At this point, Quinn gets over her initial shock and is ready to kill.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE, YOU PSYCHO BASTARD!"

Quinn immediately leaps on Tony and starts to hit him. Tony responds by releasing Jim and using his hands to throw Quinn to the floor, hard.

Tony shouted "-ING LITTLE SLUT!"

He kicks Quinn in the stomach. He's about to do it again when a now enraged Jim punches him in the face. The punch is so hard that Tony spins around and falls to the floor. Jim has just knocked his father unconscious. Next, Jim helps Quinn back up on her feet.

He asked "Are you okay?"

Quinn said "Yes, thanks."

Gina immediately walked up to the couple.

"Jim, I'm so sorry."

Jim said "It's okay, Mom. This isn't your fault. Still, I think it would be better if Quinn and I aren't here when Dad comes to."

Gina nods in understanding. She and Jim hug.

"I'll call when we get home."

Next, Gina shakes Quinn's hand.

"It was nice to meet you, Quinn. I'm sorry my husband treated you so terribly."

"That's okay, Mrs. Carbone."

"Please, call me Gina."

Quinn smiles.

Jim said "Come on, Quinn. Let's get the dog and go home."

They've just left when Tony regains consciousness.

"W-wha happen'd?"

Vito said "Jim knocked you out for hitting Quinn."

Tony is shocked and humiliated.

* * *

 **Lawndale...**

Sandi is at the front door of the Morgendorffer's house. Daria and Jane are there to see her off.

Sandi said "Thanks for having me over."

Jane said "Don't mention it."

Daria added "Ever."

Sandi actually gets the joke and laughs.

"You know, Daria, you're not as weird as I thought."

"And you're not as shallow as I thought."

Sandi said "Well, bye."

She is about to leave.

Jane said "Hey, wait up."

Sandi stops and turns around. Jane hands her a piece of paper.

"What's this?"

Jane said "Mine and Daria's address in New York. If you ever wanna spend a few days in the big apple feel free to crash at our place. We can hang out and show you around."

Sandi is visibly touched.

"You mean it."

"Of course. We were friends once, maybe we can be again."

Daria added "We could use a new convert to our flock of non conformity."

Sandi pulls both Daria and Jane into a group hug.

* * *

 **New York City...**

 **Music:** "Tunnel of Love" by Bruce Springsteen

Quinn's car is stopped at a traffic light in Manhattan. Inside, she is driving while Jim is in the passenger seat. Storm is in the back seat getting some shut eye.

Jim said "Sorry about what happened."

Quinn said "That's okay. Your father's a real jerk but everybody else in your family was great. I especially like your mother. How did she ever wind up with a guy like him."

Jim explained "She was young and in love. She stays with him because she's a good catholic."

Quinn looks thoughtful.

"Jim, I was just thinking about what you told me yesterday afternoon. About your father saying that an imagination is useless. Nothing could be less true. Imagination is what lets us think outside the box and better ourselves and the world. Without it, we'd be nothing more than wild animals. I just want you to know that your father was wrong."

Jim smiles.

"If this Thanksgiving has taught me anything it's that Dad was wrong about a lot of things."

Quinn said "I guess you don't have much to be thankful for this year."

Jim said "I'm thankful for you."

Quinn smiles. She and Jim kiss. As if timed perfectly they break the kiss just as the traffic light turns green. They turn off toward the Lincoln Tunnel just as one hears the chorus "Into this tunnel of love."

* * *

 **Next Time**

Jeffy's back. And he still has a crush on Quinn.


	7. Obsession

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme:** "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne

We see Quinn and Jim having a romantic dinner. Next, we see Quinn entertaining clients while Jake beams proudly. We then see Eric trying to boss Helen around, but Helen is having none of it. Cut to Stacy and Chuck holding hands while Sandi looks on enviously. Kevin and Brittany are making out in the girls locker room while Brittany is supposed to be coaching. Cut to Mr. DeMartino going totally beserk. Cut to Quinn having a girls night out with Stacy and Lindy. Montage ends with Quinn's smiling face in front of a pink background. Below that:

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Obssession"**

 **written by**

 **WildDogJJ**

It's an overcast Friday afternoon in Lawndale and Quinn is in her car driving home from work. She has just one thought:

 _I can't believe some of those clients. Who in their right mind thinks edible tobacco is a marketable idea?_

She doesn't see the rusted, jagged piece of metal in the middle of the road. She does, however, hear the clang as she runs over it. This is followed by a loud popping sound. Right after that the right front side of her car sinks and she can barely steer. She immediately pulls over and turns on her hazard lights. She gets out and walks over to the right front of her car and finds that the tire is now completely shredded.

"Dammit!"

Just then, white flakes start to fall from the sky. Now, Quinn's pissed.

"Snow! I have to change a tire in a SNOWSTORM! GAHHHH, DAMMIT!"

She is snapped out of her Jake like meltdown by a familiar voice behind her on the sidewalk.

"Quinn!? Quinn Morgendorffer, is that you!?"

Quinn turns around and is shocked to see...Jeffy. Yes, that Jeffy. One of her three most devoted suitors from high school. Jeffy looks the same as when she last saw him the summer after graduation, more than five years before.

"Ohmygod! Jeffy, is that really you?"

Jeffy smiles.

Quinn asked "What are you doing here?"

Jeffy said "I was taking a walk, enjoying the cool December air when I heard your car blow a tire. I ran over to help and was surprised to find you. How have you been?"

"Right now I could be better. My tire blew out and now it's snowing."

Jeffy points out that they're right by Pizza King.

"Tell you what, Quinn. Why don't we wait out the storm in there? My treat. We can catch up and when it stops snowing I'll change your tire for you."

Quinn said "Jeffy, that's so sweet. Sure. Why not?"

* * *

 **Later, inside Pizza King...**

 **Music:** "Candyman" by Christina Aguilera

Quinn and Jeffy are having Pizza and talking. Jeffy is having a slice of six topping deluxe while Quinn is having her usual veggie pizza.

Jeffy said "During my first semester at State U I discovered I had a knack for photography. So I decided to major in photojournalism. After I graduated I became a news photographer for the Philadelphia Inquirer and moved back to Lawndale."

Quinn said "That's cool. Without football you discovered that you had other talents. Stacy and I did the same thing after the Fashion Club broke up."

"How is she, by the way?"

"She married Cahrles Ruttheimer last spring. She's a field reporter for WSBC now."

Jeffy is visibly shocked.

"She married Upchuck!?"

Quinn said "He dropped that whole persona after he graduated. He only goes by Chuck now. You'd be surprised. Once he stopped being Upchuck it turned out he was actually a really sweet guy. Stacy noticed this before anyone else did and they just hit it off from there."

Jeffy asked "So, what about you? What have you been up to since high school?"

Quinn said "I majored in marketing at ECU. Right after I graduated my father had another heart attack so I moved back to Lawndale to run his consulting business for him while he recovered. I did so well that when he came back he made me his business partner. Morgendorffer Consulting is now Morgendorffer and Daughter Consulting."

Jeffy has a thought.

"Say, Quinn, I was wondering if maybe we could go out sometime. Like on a real date. You interested?"

Quinn said "Sorry, Jeffy, but I already have a boyfriend. A serious boyfriend. As in we live together serious."

Jeffy looks a little deflated. He only looks like that for a second, however, before he shrugs it off and smiles.

"Oh, well. Can't blame a guy for trying."

They both laugh.

Jeffy asked "So, who's the lucky guy? It's not Joey or Jamie, is it?"

Quinn laughed.

"No. In fact, I haven't seen Jamie since he went to college. Last I heard he dropped out and joined the Army. And Joey is going out with Sandi."

Jeffy said "Sandi Griffin!? How did that happen?"

Quinn said "He and Sandi ran into each other almost two months ago. Then, at a Halloween party they sort of hooked up. They've been a steady couple since then. They're really into each other."

Jeffy asked "So, what about your guy?"

Quinn said "His name is Jim, Jim Carbone. He works as an auto mechanic."

Jeffy said "I always figured you'd go for someone who made more bank than that."

"Well, people change. Even you've changed in the last five years."

"Touche."

* * *

 **At Quinn and Jim's apartment that evening...**

Quinn and Jim are having dinner and Quinn is telling him about her day.

"...so after it stopped snowing he changed my tire and I was on my way. It was nice to catch up with a familiar face again."

Jim said "So you now have three J's in your life again: me, Joey and Jeffy."

Quinn laughed.

"True, but this time I'm not stringing along all three of you just because I like the attention. Joey's with Sandi, I'm with you and Jeffy is just an old acquaintence."

Jim said "That's cool. I don't wanna share you with two other guys. I like our monogamous relationship."

"So do I. I'm pleasantly surprised that you aren't jealous."

"Why would I be? You told me that you only liked them as friends. Also, he backed off when you told him you were in a serious relationship. I know you wouldn't have told me all of this if there was something to hide."

Just then, Quinn feels something brush he leg. She looks down and sees Storm looking at her with pleading eyes. The dog's begging again.

Quinn said "Storm, this is people food and I already fed you."

Not ready to give up just yet, Storm plays up the sad act by whimpering. Quinn's will erodes.

"Alright, but just one and that's it."

She gives him a piece of bread, which he gobbles up in an instant. Jim grins.

He said "That dog has you completely wrapped around his finger. Talk about role reversal."

Quinn giggles and Storm happily wags his tail.

* * *

 **The next day at Lawndale Mall...**

Quinn, Stacy and Sandi are doing Christmas shopping. Tiffany isn't with them.

Quinn said "It's a shame Tiffany couldn't get off work today."

Stacy said "I know. It just isn't the same without her. Maybe we should stop by Cashmans and pay her a visit."

Sandi said "With how crowded this mall is I doubt she'll have time to talk to us."

Just then...

"Hey, Quinn."

All three girls turn around. It's Jeffy.

Quinn said "Hi, Jeffy."

Jeffy asked "How'd the spare tire hold up? Did you get home alright?"

The other two girls look at Quinn questioningly.

Quinn explained "My car blew a tire yesterday. Jeffy happend to be there and we got caught up before he changed the tire for me."

Jeffy turns his attention to Sandi.

"So, I hear you're going out with Joey now."

Sandi said "Yes. We're doing great."

Jeffy said "That's nice. I'd actually like to get back in touch with him. You know, reminisch about the good old days. Why don't you two have dinner at my place?"

Sandi said "That sounds nice. I'll ask Joey and see what he says."

Jeffy said "Great. Here, let me give you my number."

Jeffy writes his phone number down on a piece of paper and gives it to Sandi. After this, he turns his attention back to Quinn.

"So, how are things with you and this Jim guy?"

Quinn said "They're great. He told me to thank you for helping me yesterday."

Jeffy asked "Where is he now?"

Quinn said "He took my car to MacKenzie's garage to get a new tire using his employee discount."

Jeffy said "That's cool. I'd actually like to meet him. Can I have your number."

Quinn seems a little uncertain. They haven't seen each other in five years and he wants to exchange contact info. Quinn shrugs.

"Sure, why not?"

She gives Jeffy her phone number and Jeffy gives her his.

Stacy said "It's nice to see you again, Jeffy."

"Nice to see you again, too. So, Quinn, can I help you carry your shopping bags."

Quinn said "That's alright, Jeffy. I'm just fine on my own."

"You sure?"

Quinn looks a little weirded out, which Jeffy notices.

He said "Just trying to be nice."

"I know. It just seems weird, like nothing's changed since high school."

Jeffy said "Can I at least help you girls shop? Maybe I can help you find something."

Sandi said "Um, Jeffy, no offense but this is kind of a girls afternoon out. That's why Stacy didn't bring her husband while Quinn and I didn't bring our boyfriends."

Jeffy seems a little put off but lets it slide.

"It's cool. Maybe I'll see you around, Quinn."

Quinn smiled sweetly.

"Bye, Jeffy."

With that, Jeffy leaves. As he walks away Stacy eyes him suspiciously.

She said "Quinn, don't you think it's a little weird that he ran into you today after you had a chance encounter with him yesterday?"

Quinn said "No. I mean, we run into people we used to know all the time."

Stacy said "Sandi, do you think he's a stalker?"

Sandi rolls her eyes.

"Stacy, why are you asking me?"

"Well, you were right about the bellboy at Le Grande."

Quinn said "Stacy, Bobby was a thief and computer geek, not a stalker."

Sandi added "I didn't really think he was a stalker. I just said that because I was jealous of the attention Quinn was getting and wanted to ruffle her feathers a little."

Stacy said "But think about it. Why does he want to meet Jim so badly? Why was he being excessively nice to Quinn just now?"

Before Sandi can answer Quinn speaks.

"Stacy, Jeffy's not a stalker. It's just a coincidence that we ran into each other twice in as many days. He wants Sandi's contact info because he wants to get back in touch with Joey and he wants my info because he wants to connect with an old friend. It doesn't mean I'm being followed around."

Stacy said "I buy the reason he gave his number to Sandi. It's normal that he wants to re-connect with an old friend like Joey. But he seemed a little too interested in you and Jim while he barely acknowledged me. And he didn't ask about me and Chuck at all. Wouldn't he be just as curious as everyone else who knew him in high school?"

Now, Quinn looks thoughtful.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, that evening...**

Quinn comes home and finds only Storm there. The puppy runs up to Quinn and wags it's tail in anticipation. Quinn kneels down and pets him as he is now too heavy for her to pick up.

"That's right, precious. Mommy's home. I'll walk you in a minute."

She walks over to the phone to check her voice mail. From the tone we hear...

"You have twenty-one messages."

Quinn listens to the first message.

"Hey, Quinn, it's Jim. Just wanted to let you know that I'm going to do some Christmas shopping. I'll bring dinner. See you when I get home."

The second message.

"Hey, Quinn, it's Jeffy. Just thought I'd give you a call on my cell. Mind if I hang out with you and Jim sometime?"

The third message:

"Hey, Quinn, Jeffy again. Just wanted to talk to you."

Now, Quinn's a little annoyed. The fourth message:

"Hey, Quinn, it's Jeffy again. Just wondering if you got my message."

* * *

 **Half an hour later...**

Quinn is totally weirded out as the last nineteen messages have all been from Jeffy. She hopes message twenty-one is someone else.

"Quinn, Jeffy again. I really wanna talk to you. Are you sure you're happy with Jim?"

Quinn is now officially freaked out.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Jim has just returned with dinner: take out chinese. He finds Quinn freaking out about the twnety phone messages she got from Jeffy.

"...Stacy thinks that Jeffy's stalking me and after these messages I'm starting to wonder if he is!"

Setting the food on the table Jim gives her his opinion.

"You think you might be overreacting a little?"

Quinn said "Jim, this is serious. What if he is stalking me?"

Jim still thinks Quinn's overreacting.

Quinn said "What if he's watching us right now?"

Jim said "Quinn, does he even know where we live?"

Quinn thinks for a minute.

"I don't think so. I only gave him my phone number. But if he is stalking me it's possible that he found out."

Jim said "I'll check out the window."

Jim goes to the window and looks out.

"Oh my god, he's right out there with binoculars!"

Quinn immediately rushes to the window and looks. There's no one out there. Jim starts laughing. Now, Quinn's pissed.

"THAT'S NOT FUNNY, JIM!"

"Sorry, couldn't resist. Seriously, though, all you have to go on are these phone messages. How do you know he isn't just overly enthusiastic?"

Quinn asked "What do you mean?"

Jim said "I mean, you've told me all the stories from high school. Sometimes when you run into an old friend you haven't seen in a long time it's easy to fall back into old patterns. I think that's what happened here. He saw you again and it probably awakened some long dormant feelings. It happens. For example, even though Sandi is nowhere near as bitchy as you claim she was in high school I've noticed she can still be like that sometimes. It's human nature 101."

Quinn rolls her eyes.

"God, you can be sooo like Daria sometimes."

She now smiles.

"Just one of the things I love about you."

Quinn now turns serious again.

"Seriously, Jim. What do you think I should do?"

Jim said "Have a talk with him. Remind him that things are different now and if he wants to be friends with you he has to accept that and respect your boundaries. Hopefully, he'll see the light of reason and understand."

Quinn asked "What if he doesn't?"

"Then he has serious psychological problems and we should start worrying. But I think it's too soon to make that call. You probably just need to tell him to curb his enthusiasm and that'll be the end of it."

Quinn looks relieved.

"Okay."

They sit down for dinner.

* * *

 **At a Starbucks the following afternoon...**

 **Music:** "Disturbia" by Rihanna

Quinn and Jeffy are seated at a table and having coffee.

Quinn said "Thanks for coming, Jeffy."

Jeffy said "No problem, Quinn. What's on your mind?"

Quinn said "Jeffy, we need to talk."

"About?"

"Are you stalking me?"

Jeffy nearly spits out his coffee.

"What!? No. Where'd you get an idea like that?"

Quinn said "Stacy thinks you are. I didn't believe her at first but then you left twenty messages on my machine."

Jeffy said "I just wanted to catch up."

Quinn said "Twenty messages is more than a little excessive, don't you think."

Jeffy looks like a kid who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Quinn asked "What's going on?"

Jeffy sighed.

"I thought I was over you. That was before I ran into you on Friday. Now I realise that I do still have feelings for you."

Quinn said "I'm flattered, but the truth is that I have a boyfriend now. I like you as a friend and if we're going to be friends you have to accept that that's all we'll ever be."

Jeffy said "I understand. I guess I did get carried away. Sorry it freaked you out."

"That's okay. If you need to talk to me and I'm not there just leave one message. I'll respond as soon as I can."

Jeffy smiles.

"So, how'd Jim take it?"

"He thinks all I need to do is have a talk with you about it."

Jeffy said "He was right. I'm sorry I got so eager."

Quinn said "That's okay. Now that we've cleared the air we can put all of this weirdness behind us."

They resume making small talk.

* * *

 **Jeffy's apartment, the following Friday evening...**

The apartment is a one bedroom with a kitchen and a living room. The living room is separated from the kitchen by a wall with an open walk through entrance. The kitchen is connected to the bedroom by a small hallway. The first door is the laundry room. The second is the bathroom and after that is a door leading to the bedroom. In the living room Joey and Jeffy are catching up. Sandi is with them.

Jeffy said "So, you two are an item now."

Joey said "Yeah, dude. We just hit it off."

Sandi added "Everything about this relationship just feels right, so far."

Jeffy said "That's cool."

Sandi said "I need to use the bathroom. I'll only be a second."

Jeffy pointed down the hall.

"Second door on the left."

"Thanks."

Sandi gets up and makes her way to the bathroom. She notices that the bedroom door is a crack open. Something through the opening catches her eye. She opens the bedroom door all the way. What she sees makes her gasp in horror.

"JOEY!"

Joey and Jeffy both run to a too terrified to speak Sandi.

Joey asked "What's wrong?"

Sandi points into the bedroom. Joey looks and he gasps. The walls are all covered in photos of Quinn. There are photos of her from high school, college and everything else. Some of the pistures were obviously taken with a telephoto lens as they depict Quinn in various stages of undress. There are even pictures of her in the shower. There's a copy of the nude painting that Jane made in August. In one corner is a shrine. On the altar is one of Quinn's old hairbrushes from high school with some of her hair in it. Behind the altar is a life size poster of Quinn with the words "I'll only ever love her." Scrawled in red over her image. Sandi and Joey are freaked.

Jeffy said "One day I'll show it to Quinn and she'll realize just how much she means to me. Then she'll leave Jim and we can be together forever."

Joey and Sandi both stare at Jeffy in disbelief.

Sandi said "Jeffy, what the hell!?"

Joey said "Yeah, dude. This is really twisted."

Jeffy said "It proves that I love her and only her."

Sandi said "No, it proves that you're sick in the head."

Joey said "She's right, man. If Quinn sees this she'll totally freak. And Jim'll kick your ass for sure."

Jeffy laughed. The laugh had a DeMartino like quality.

"Jim, yeah, right. He's a total brain."

Sandi said "He's a brain who works out and has a job that involves physical labor."

Joey said "Yeah, he's a brain with the body of a jock."

Jeffy said "I figured you wouldn't understand."

He now has a psychotic grin.

"Quinn and I are meant to be."

Joey turns to his girlfriend.

"C'mon, Sandi, we're leaving. Jeffy, you need help."

With that, Joey and Sandi leave.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, a short time later...**

Quinn and Jim are getting ready for a night on the town. There's a knock on the door.

Quinn said "Jim, could you get that, honey."

"Sure."

Jim looks out the peephole before opening the door. It's Joey and Sandi. Joey said "We need to tell you guys something. Is Quinn here?"

Jim said "Yeah, we were just getting ready to go out."

He lets Sandi and Joey in. Quinn comes out with her hair done and wearing a sexy yet classy dress.

She said "Sandi, Joey, we were just about to go clubbing. Wanna join us?"

Sandi said "Quinn, we have some bad news."

Joey added "You might want to sit down for this."

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

 **Music:** "Possession Obsession" by Daryl Hall and John Oates.

Sandi and Joey have just told Quinn and Jim about what they saw at Jeffy's. Quinn's reaction was what one would expect.

"WHAT!? YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!"

Joey said "I wish we were."

Sandi said "Quinn, you might be in danger."

Jim looks very concerned.

"Quinn, maybe we shouldn't go out tonight. In fact, it might be a good idea to call the cops."

Quinn thinks it over for a second.

"No."

Jim, Joey and Sandi are shocked.

"NO!?"

Quinn said "I'll call him and tell him in no uncertain terms that this stops now."

Quinn immediately gets out her cellphone.

"Jeffy, I just had a very weird conversation with Joey and Sandi."

Jeffy, on the other end, said "They told you about the pictures. Quinn, I'm in love with you. I can't help it."

"Jeffy, this isn't love, it's obsession."

Jeffy said "You're all I can ever think about. I need you. I'll always be devoted to you."

"Jeffy, this is stalking. It has to stop."

"But...but..."

Quinn suddenly has a thought.

"Jeffy, was it just a coincidence that I bumped into you last week?"

Jeffy said "Fine, I admit it. I knew you'd take that route home from work. I thought that if I helped you out of a jam you'd finally love me. So I threw that jagged piece of metal in front of your car. I just wanted you to love me. I also had some tech geek from the office hack your computer when Jim was looking for a job. He changed the contact information so when they thought they were calling Grace, Sloan and Paige they were really calling my cell."

Quinn gasps.

"You blacklisted Jim!? You son of a bitch!"

"I did it because I figured if Jim stayed unemployed you'd leave him and we could be together. Everything I do is for you. Can't you see that?"

Quinn is absolutely livid.

"Jeffy, you listen to me and you listen real good. If you follow me around, if you call me, if you even talk to anyone I know again I will call the police. Do I make myself clear?"

"But, Quinn, I love you."

"Hear me out, Jeffy...I...NEVER...WANT...TO...SEE...YOU...AGAIN."

With that, she hangs up. On his end of the line Jeffy is devastated.

Jeffy said "You were supposed to understand."

He now has a psychotic grin.

"I'll make you understand. ha, ha, ha, HA, HA, HA, AH, AH, HA, HA, HA!"

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, a short time later...**

 **Music:** "Maniac" by Michael Sambello

Quinn, Sandi and Joey are watching a movie on TV. Jim is not there.

Sandi said "It was nice of Jim to go get pizza."

Quinn, having calmed down, is now visibly frightened.

"Was it such a good idea to let Jim leave. What if Jeffy finds him and hurts him."

Joey said "You called the police right after you hung up on Jeffy. He's probably in handcuffs now."

Quinn said "I'm still worried. Thanks for staying overnight."

Sandi said "After everything you've done for me how could we not?"

Quinn smiles. Back in high school Sandi would've never gone to such lengths for anyone. Just then, Storm barks.

Quinn asked "What is it, Storm? Is Daddy back with the pizza?"

Just then, the door is violently kicked open. It's Jeffy.

He said "Quinn, I want you. One way or another."

He lunges at them only to be tackled by Joey. Jeffy tries to punch and kick Joey off of him. He finally picks up a table lamp and smashes it over Joey's head, knocking him out cold.

Sandi screamed "YOU PSYCHO!"

Enraged beyond feeling fear, she lunges at Jeffy. Jeffy back hands her so hard that she falls to the floor and is unconscious. Wanting too protect his family, Storm lunges and Jeffy with hie teeth bared. Jeffy kicks him away. Quinn goes from frightened to enraged.

"YOU BASTARD!"

She lunges at him but he shoves her to the floor, hard.

Jeffy said "Quinn, please, I need you."

Quinn said "You're crazy, Jeffy. You need help."

Jeffy reaches into his jacket and pulls out a butcher knife.

"IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, THEN NO ONE WILL!"

He lunges at Quinn with the knife. Quinn tries to run toward the bedroom, intending to lock herself in and call the police. Jeffy grabs her by the shoulder and shoves her against the wall.

"I want to love you. Why are you making me kill you instead?"

Jeffy raises the knife. Too frightened to do anything else, Quinn closes her eyes and waits for the fatal stabs to come. Suddenly, she no longer feels the weight of Jeffy. She hears the sound of the knife falling to the floor and opens her eyes.

 **Music:** "Rambo Final Boss Theme"

Jim is back and has Jeffy in a choke hold. He continues to tighten his already vice like grip around Jeffy's neck while Jeffy struggles for air. Quinn is too shocked to say or do anything. All too soon, Jeffy's eyes close and his body goes limp. At this point, Jim releases him and he falls to the floor with a loud thud. Quinn rushes to Jim and hugs him.

"Oh, Jim, I was so scared."

Jim said "You're safe now Quinn. I called the police when I heard the commotion. They're on their way."

Quinn looks at the lifeless Jeffy.

"Is...is..he..."

"Dead?"

Quinn nods.

"No, just unconscious. He'll feel like shit when he wakes up."

* * *

By the time Jeffy wakes up he's in handcuffs. Quinn and Jim are talking to one of the police on the scene.

The cop said to Jim "You've made what's called a 'citizens arrest'. You should be very proud?"

Jim said "He was about to kill my girlfriend. It was the only thing to do."

The cop said "When you can, I'll need all four of you to accompany me to the station so that your statements can go on record."

Jeffy screamed "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, QUINN? I LOVE YOU!"

Quinn said "You tried to kill me, you sick freak. I never want to see you again."

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, QUINN! YOU'LL PAY!"

The cop said "I'd remind you of your right to remain silent if we didn't already find more than enough evidence at your place to convict your ass."

Quinn and Jim smile.

* * *

 **Pizza King, one month later...**

Quinn and Lindy are having pizza and talking.

Quinn said "So, that's what happened. It was a very interesting December."

Lindy is clearly amazed.

"Whoa, that's pretty intense. When's the trial?"

Quinn said "There isn't going to be one. After Jeffy's lawyer saw the evidence against him he asked to cut a deal. Jeffy agrees to undergo in-patient psychiatric care at a maximum security mental hospital in exchange for the charges being dropped."

Lindy said "And you actually agreed to that!? Why?"

Quinn said "Because once the initial shock wore off I felt sorry for him."

Quinn now looks sad.

"Part of this is my fault. If I hadn't strung Jeffy along all through high school maybe he wouldn't have gone crazy and none of this would have happened."

Lindy smiles reassuringly.

"Quinn, you had no way of knowing this would happen. You don't deserve to be stalked, harassed or killed. After all, plenty of other guys have had a crush on you that never turned into a dangerous obssession and psychotic break."

Quinn said "I know, but I still feel a little guilty. At least this way Jeffy will get some help and maybe he'll be able to live a normal life someday."

"Let's hope."

They clink their soda cups together and drink to that.

 **End.**

 **Next Time**

Because of what happened in this episode Quinn decides to take martial arts classes. There's just one catch: her sensei is Ms. Barch.


	8. The Karate Quinn

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme:** "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne

We see Quinn and Jim having a romantic dinner. Next, we see Quinn entertaining clients while Jake beams proudly. We then see Eric trying to boss Helen around, but Helen is having none of it. Cut to Stacy and Chuck holding hands while Sandi looks on enviously. Kevin and Brittany are making out in the girls locker room while Brittany is supposed to be coaching. Cut to Mr. DeMartino going totally beserk. Cut to Quinn having a girls night out with Stacy and Lindy. Montage ends with Quinn's smiling face in front of a pink background. Below that:

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"The Karate Quinn"**

 **written by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **A restaurant in Lawndale, noon...**

Quinn and Stacy are having lunch together and catching up.

Quinn said "...so now Jim's all worried about my safety. It'd be sweet if it weren't so annoying."

Stacy said "I can see why he's being like that. On thanksgiving he saw his father smack you around. A few short weeks later was the Jeffy incident. Jeffy would've killed you if Jim hadn't come to the rescue."

Quinn said "I'm pretty shaken up from that one, too. I just feel a little smothered by Jim's sudden overprotectiveness."

Stacy said "Chuck can be like that. Especially since my job involves going to neighborhoods that are somewhat dicey. I actually took some judo classes just to shut him up. Now, he's finally stopped insisting I carry a taser at all times."

At this point, Stacy gets an idea.

"Maybe you should take a self defense class. Jim would probably sleep easier if he knew you could reliably defend yourself when he's not around."

Quinn looks thoughtful.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

 **Music:** "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera

Jim and Quinn are watching the evening news.

The news anchor said "Our next story concerns a burgulary in Lawndale. Field reporter Stacy Ruttheimer is on the scene."

The TV cuts to Stacy standing in front of the Taylor house with a microphone.

She said "Thank you, Jeff. I'm in Crewe Neck, a gated community in Lawndale. It's not the type of place where one would expect a lot of crime. Last night, however, the home behind me was burglarized."

Steve Taylor comes into view.

Stacy said "I'm here with the home's owner, Mr. Steven Tayolr. Mr. Taylor, can you tell our viewers what happened?"

Steve said "I was on a dinner date with my new girlfriend. When I came home I found the window to my trophy room smashed open and all of the fine china was gone. The burglar even took all of my hunting trophys and stole a three pound diamond that I had on display in my parlor."

Stacy said "I see. It appears that Lawndale, a community of upper middle class suburbanites now faces one of the big city problems that it's residents moved here to escape. Stacy Ruttheimer, WSBC News. Back to you, Jeff."

The TV cuts back to the studio. The anchor, Jeff Burgundy, is a handsome 40 year old with slicked back light brown hair and a Magnum, PI mustache.

Jeff said "Thank you, Stacy. After the commercial break we'll talk to entertainment correspondent Tori Jehrico. And later on, in our month long special on sexuality in the new millenium, "The Female Sexual Response: Nature's Rubix Cube.""

During the commercial Quinn talks to Jim.

She said "Jim, I've been thninking about how recent events have shaken us both up and made you concerned about my safety."

Jim said "I've been thinking about that, too. I know that I can't protect you 24/7 and that scares me. Especially since Jeffy almost killed you. What if I'm not there the next time you're in physical danger?"

Quinn said "That's why I need a way to protect myself when you're not around."

"That's what I'm thinking. This story about a burglary just now makes me feel even more convinced you need your own protection."

Jim reaches under the end table and gets out a locked box.

"That's why I got you this."

He hands the box and key to Quinn. She opens it up and gasps. Inside is a Beretta 92FS handgun.

Jim said "I bought it last week at Shooter McGee's and picked it up today after they finished the background check on both of us. I want you to have it and I want you to take concealed carry classes and get a permit."

Quinn frowns.

"Jim, I appreciate this but I'm not comfortable with the idea of carrying a gun everywhere I go."

Jim said "I can't return it. All sales at Shooter McGee's are final. Besides, how else are you going to protect yourself?"

Quinn said "I was thinking of taking martial arts classes. I could learn to defend myself and get a workout at the same time since I'm starting to get bored with power yoga."

Quinn locks the case and hands it back to Jim.

He said "That could work. Being able to kick ass works just as well as having a gun. I can always take this thing to a range and blow off steam with some target practice."

Quinn smiles.

* * *

 **The next day at Lawndale Fitness Center...**

Quinn has just gotten out of her power yoga class when she sees a flyer on the bulletin board. She sees a flyer that reads:

"Take Back The Night Taijutsu Class. Are you tired of being a victim? Do you want to learn how to fight back? Take Back The Night offers classes held daily at the Lawndale High School Gymnasium. Here, you learn Taijutsu, the hand to hand fighting style of the Ninja of Feudal Japan. Take back the night!"

This is followed by a list of times and classes. Quinn sees a stack of sign up sheets directly under the flyer. She takes one and fills it out.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, that evening...**

Quinn and Jim are having dinner and talking about their day.

Quinn said "...so I signed up for the beginners class."

Jim said "That's great, honey. Taijutsu will definetly allow you to protect yourself better. In fact, parts of it are used by military special ops in their combat training."

Quinn said "That's cool. I should really be able to kick ass. Soon, my days of being a victim will be over."

"Amen to that."

* * *

 **Lawndale High, the following evening...**

Quinn and the rest of the beginners class are sitting cross legged on the floor. They are wearing white uniforms with the words "Take Back The Night" stitched on the back. Because they are beginners they are wearing white belts. Most of the other students, all female, are teenagers and students at Lawndale high. Some are students at Lawndale State. Quinn, being 23, is the oldest by a good three years. The instructer comes in. It's Ms. Barch. She's wearing the same uniform as the students but hers says "Instructor" under the logo and she has a black belt.

Ms. Barch said "Welcome to my "Take Back The Night Taijutsu Class for Beginners". I am your instructor, Ms. Barch. Here, you will learn not to rely on a MAN for your protection. If only they had these classes when I was a teenager. Maybe then I wouldn't have spent TWENTY TWO THANKLESS YEARS WAITING HAND AND FOOT ON A BUTT SCRATCHING IMBICILE JUST TO HAVE HIM JILT ME FOR A BARELY LEGAL SKANK!"

Quinn and the others look apprehensive. Ms. Barch calms down.

"Now then, what is the golden rule?"

Quinn raises her hand.

"Yes."

"The golden rule is 'do unto others as you would have others do unto you'."

"WRONG! That's what we tell children but that's not the world we live in. We live in a violent world because it's RUN BY MEN! The real golden rule is 'strike first, strike hard, show NO MERCY!'"

Quinn looks apprehensive.

* * *

 **Pizza King, later that evening...**

Quinn and Stacy are having pizza while Quinn tells her about the class.

Quinn said "...once she stopped ranting and started showning us moves, though, it was actually fun. I learned how to use an attackers own forward momentum to wrestle him too the ground."

Stacy said "That's cool. We actually learned the same thing in those judo classes I took. What else did you learn there?"

"I learned that Taijutsu is divided into three disciplines. The one we started tonight is called ju-taijutsu, which is defensive. It consists of blocks, dodges and throws. Tomorrow night we start with daiken-taijutsu, which is offensive. We learn punches, kicks and chops. Next week, we'll be introduced to the third discipline, kobudo-jutsu, where we learn to use everyday objects as weapons."

"Sounds like taijutsu covers all of the basics."

Quinn said "It does. I'll never be unarmed. Soon, I'l be able to use my body and my environment as a weapon."

Stacy smiled.

"Quinn the ninja. Who would've thought?"

Both women laugh.

* * *

 **Aqua Dance Club, two weeks later...**

 **Music:** "Bringing Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake

Quinn and Jim are in the crowd on a date. They are dancing and having a good time when a drunk guy approaches them.

The drunk said "Mind if I cut in?"

He shoves Jim away and puts his arms around Quinn, making her uncomfortable. Jim taps the guy on the shoulder.

"Hey, that's my girlfriend, jerk."

"Not for long, she isn't."

Quinn pulls away from him.

"Excuse me, but I want to dance with my boyfriend, not you."

"I wasn't askin'"

Jim said "Hey, pal.."

Before he can get another word out Quinn slaps the drunk, which enrages him.

"YOU BITCH!"

The drunk throws a punch at Quinn. Grabs his fist with her left hand, spins inside, grabs his belt with her right hand and throws him over her. Jim is amazed. The drunk staggers to his feet.

"NOBODY DOES THAT TO ME, BITCH!"

Jim moves to protect Quinn. Before he gets to her, though, she assumes an offensive posture.

"HAI."

She strikes the drunk in the face with the palm of her right hand. As she withdraws her right hand she punches him in the gut with her left. As she withdraws her left hand she uses her right to throw an straight punch with her nuckles extended. This one strikes the drunk in his nose. She finishes him off with a leaping roundhouse kick that sends him to the floor. As he lay there she straddled his chest, pinning his arms under her knees. She is about to strike his face repeatedly but notices that he is not only unconscious but his nose is broken. She gasps in shock and gets off of him.

"Did I really just do that?"

Quinn smiles as a feeling of empowerment over takes her.

* * *

 **The Morgendorffer house, the following evening...**

Quinn and Jim are having dinner with Jake and Helen. For once, Jake managed to cook something that wasn't a disgusting concoction.

Quinn said "Last night this guy got fresh with me and I totally kicked his ass."

Jim said "It's true. You should've seen her."

Jake now looks upset.

"You know, my father told me that you have to kick someones ass before you'll be recognized as a man. 'Real men fight, Jake.' 'You have to kill or be killed, Jake.' 'Whoever said violence solves nothing was a commie who should be shot for treason.' All because he was a RIGID, BLOODTHIRSTY, PSYCHOTIC SON OF A..."

Helen barked "JAKE!"

Jake snaps out of it.

"Sorry. What were we talking about?"

Quinn is visibly embarrassed.

 _Same old clueless Dad._

Helen turns her attention to Quinn.

"I think it's nice that you're learning to defend yourself, Quinn. Just don't let it go to you're head."

Quinn asked "What do you mean, Mom?"

Helen said "Violence should be a last resort. Having the skills you now possess can make it tempting to misuse them. I just hope you remember to show restraint. I didn't raise you to be a bully."

Quinn defiantly folds her arms.

"I don't recall you doing much raising at all."

Helen scowls.

"What do you mean by that?"

Quinn said "Me and Daria had to raise ourselves because you were so obsessed with your career. Now, you're lecturing me about not letting things go to my head. Talk about hypocritical."

Angry, Helen said "I don't care for your tone, young lady."

"And I don't care for your talking to me like I'm still a little girl. I'm a grown woman now. One who can seriously kick ass. If you wanted to be a parent, you should've been one when Daria and I were actually kids."

Helen is now seriously pissed. Jim and Jake are now visibly uncomfortable.

Jim said "Um, Quinn, maybe this isn't the best time to talk about these things?"

Quinn barked "Stay out of this, Jim!"

Jim moves back and lets out an "EEP."

Jake said "Helen, Jim's right. Maybe we shouldn't have this discussion at dinner."

"LET ME HANDLE THIS, JAKE!"

"EEEEP!"

Quinn barked "DON'T YOU DARE YELL AT DAD, MOM!"

Helan shouted "WELL, I NEVER. HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT IN MY OWN HOUSE!"

Quinn stands up and assumes a fighting stance. Now, Jim and Jake are VERY uncomfortable.

* * *

 **Lawndale High, the next day...**

Quinn Morgendorffer is walking the halls of Lawndale High despite having graduated more than five years earlier. She is there to see Ms. Barch.

 _Class is out for the day, so I can catch her at a convenient time._

She enters Ms. Barch's science classroom. It hasn't changed one bit since the last time she set foot in there back in 2001. Ms. Barch is grading some tests.

"This student did really good. A+."

She looks at the name on the paper: John Morrison. She scowls.

"Make that a D-."

She looks up and sees Quinn.

"Ah, Ms. Morgendorffer. You wanted to see me?"

Quinn said "Yes, Ms. Barch. I need to talk to you about the taijutsu class."

"Of course."

Quinn said "You see, it's like this. I signed up because I wanted to be able to defend myself from physical attack. Last Saturday night I was at a night club and successfully fought off a guy who tried to get fresh with me."

Ms. Barch said "Wonderful. See, you don't need a man to protect yourself."

Quinn said "Yeah, well I was with my parents for Sunday dinner and I picked a fight with my Mom that almost got physical. It made both my Dad and my boyfriend very uncomfortable."

"Of course it did. Strong women threaten the patriarchy."

Quinn said "That's what I want to talk about, this ultra feminist rhetoric. I don't see what it has to do with self defense."

Ms. Barch said "Remember, we live in a world unjustly run by men. That's why I instill such doctrine in my students, so that you can fight male opression. After all, a man...I mean an attacker deserves no mercy."

Quinn said "Well, be that as it may, I signed up so that I could learn to defend myself. I can now and the rhetoric is starting to make me too agressive. My mother warned me not to let this go to my head. It's starting to do just that. I want to leave the class."

Ms. Barch is stunned.

"You can't be serious! You're my best student."

"I'm sorry, but I just wanted to learn how to protect myself and I've done that. I don't want to turn into some bully."

"You don't understand. You've progressed so rapidly I wanna transfer you to my advanced class."

Quinn is now the one who is stunned, and more than a little interested. Ms. Barch notices this.

"You'd love it. Your sparring partners would be closer to your level and the advanced class participates in tournaments."

Now, Quinn is very interested.

"I...I'm really that good!?"

"Of course."

Quinn wants to say yes, but shakes her head.

"I'm sorry. I can't"

Ms. Barch said "Fine. I just hope you don't mind having men walk all over you for the rest of her life."

Quinn is now very uncertain as she's reminded of her treatment at the hands of Tony and Jeffy. She also remembers how empowered she felt when she kick that drunk guys ass.

 _It's so liberating to know that I can fight back instead of running away._

Quinn makes her decision.

"On second thought...Sign me up."

Ms. Barch smiles.

* * *

 **Musical montage...**

 **Music:** "Moment of Truth" by Survivor

We see Quinn in the advanced class. First, we see her doing movements in front of the mirror to perfect her form. Next, she's working the heavy bag. Close up shows her fist strike once with extended knuckles, again with her fist sideways and her thumb potruding forward like a spear tip, again with a standard clenched fist, and finally a karate chop. Next, we see Quinn practicing jump kicks and roundhouse kicks. Then, we see her do a body roll that sends her sparring partner flying across the mat. After this, we see Quinn defeat multiple sparring partners, some of whom are black belts. Next, we see Quinn practicing the crane technique. We see her working over a practice dummy. Next, we see Quinn do staff fighting. Finally, we see Quinn doing some more mirror exercises.

* * *

 **Playhouse 99 Movie theater, evening...**

Quinn is having a girls night out with Lindy. The two of them are waiting in line for movie tickets.

Lindy asked "So, how are you enjoying the taijutsu classes?"

Quinn said "They're great, Lindy. I'm really learning to let loose my inner warrior. You should try it. It's very empowering."

Just then, Quinn seems to remember something.

"Damn, I left my wallet in the car. Could you hold my spot while I get it?"

"No problem, Quinn."

Quinn leaves. As soon as she's gone a blond guy in his twenties with tacky clothes a la "Two Wild and Crazy Guys" cuts right in front of Lindy.

"Hey, jerk, go to the back of the line."

The guy defiantly folds his arms.

"Make me."

Lindy sizes him up and realizes that she can't match him physically. She lets out a defeated sigh. At this point Quinn comes back.

"Lindy, what's going on?"

Lindy points to the guy in Quinn's spot.

"This asshole cut in. I tried to tell him to go to the back of the line but he won't budge."

Quinn immediately gets in his face.

"Hey, fashion disaster, you're in my spot."

He shrugs.

"Hey, you snooze you lose."

Quinn's eyes narrow. She grabs him by the shirt collar and shoves him into the wall. He's shocked.

Quinn, in a deadly tone of voice, said "You have a choice, loser. Either you walk to the back of the line or I'll drag you there...in pieces."

The line cutter is too frightened to speak. Quinn shakes her fist.

"WELL?"

"Okay, okay. I'll go to the back of the line."

Quinn lets him go and he heads to the back in an uncomfortable hurry. Lindy is impressed.

"Wel, Quinn, somebody's wearing her ovaries on the outside today."

Quinn takes it the wrong way. She gets right in Lindy's face and shakes her fist.

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

Lindy said "Whoa, take it easy, Quinn. I was giving you a compliment."

"Nobody walks all over me, Lindy. Do you hear me? NOBODY PUSHES AROUND QUINN MORGENDORFFER!"

Now, Lindy is very uncomfortable.

"Okaaayyy, I'm just going to take two very huge steps back now."

She does just that.

* * *

 **Lawndale High, evening...**

In front of the school is a banner that reads:

"Take Back The Night Tournament For Cahrity."

All proceeds go to battered womens shelters.

In the gym all of the spectators are watching as Ms. Barch's advanced students participate in this tournament. The spectators include Kevin, Brittany, Sandi, Joey, Stacy, Chuck, Tiffany, Lindy, Jim, Jake and Helen. They are all there to support Quinn.

Kevin said "Cool! Quin is, like, totally kicking butt."

Stacy said "She's a total badass."

Lindy pulls Jim aside.

"Jim" she said "Have you noticed that Quinn's been kinda, well, agressive lately?"

Jim said "Yeah, she picked a fight with Helen one hight and when she beat up that drunk in the club she looked like she wanted to kill him."

Hearing this, Helen throws in her two cents.

"This is all going to her head, isn't it?"

Lindy said "I'm afraid so."

Ms. Barch walks out to the center of the makeshift arena. She has a microphone.

"Once again, I'd like to thank you for supporting female empowerment. We've raised over a thousand dollars. And now allow me to introduce our finalists."

Ms. Barch points to her right.

"In this corner, Rachel Landon."

Jodie's younger sister steps out onto the map as the crowd applauds. Cut to the crowd and we see Andrew and Michelle Landon.

Andrew proudly said "That's my little girl."

Ms. Barch speaks into the microphone and points to her left.

"In this corner we have my newest student. This young woman is a martial arts prodigy. I've never seen someone advance so quickly. I give you...Quinn Morgendorffer."

Quinn steps onto the mat. She smiles and waves to the crowd. Ms. Barch signals the two finalists to the mat. They face her and bow. They then bow to each other. After this they assume their fighting stances. Ms. Barch raises her hand in the air.

"Ready."

She rapidly brings her hand down.

"FIGHT!"

Quinn and Rachel cautiously walk in a circle as they size each other. Quinn soon charges at Rachel with a flurry of strikes and kicks. Rachel easily deflects all of Quinn's blows. Finally, Rachel counters Quinn's attempted jump kick and throws her to the mat. Quinn gets right back up and is now enraged. When Rachel comes at her Quinn ducks a jump kick and strikes Rachel with a roundhouse kick. Rachel tries a series of strikes but Quinn blocks them all. Rachel tries a roundhouse kick but Quinn locks Rachel's kicking leg under her left arm while she uses her right foot to sweep Rachel to the floor. The first one to land three strikes will win the match. Quinn has landed two while Rachel has only landed one. Rachel tries to come at Quinn hard and fast, but Quinn deflects all of Rachel's blows before landing a palm strike that wins the match.

Ms. Barch announced "Winner: Quinn Morgendorffer."

Quinn and Rachel bow to each other and then to the crowd. Ms. Barch comes up to congratulate Quinn.

Quinn suddenly said "I've had nothing but amateurs. I WANT A REAL OPPONENT, MS. BARCH, YOU!"

The whole crowd gasps in shock.

Ms. Barch said "Now, Quinn, I can't. You see, the relationship between sensei and student is a sacred bond and..."

Quinn suddenly does a roundhouse kick that hits Ms. Barch right in the mouth. Ms. Barch scowls with rage as she wipes the blood from her lip.

"The...bond...is...BROKEN!"

Quinn said "Bring it, bitch!"

They both assume fighting stances. Quinn does a jump kick, which Barch dodges with ease. She goes at Quinn with a flurry of strikes but Quinn blocks each and everyone. Next, Barch throws a punch. In a single fluid motion Quinn ducks the punch, elbows Barch in the stomach and backhand punches her in the face three times. Quinn then sweeps Barch to the floor and finishes her off with three bullet punches to the face. She stands up and raises both of her fists is triumph.

"I WIN!"

Quinn picks up the microphone.

"I'm the greatest! I have the power! No one can beat me!"

Quinn's friends and family join her on the mat.

Jim said "Quinn, that was amazing."

Quinn grabs Jim by the shirt collar and kisses him very forcefully. After the kiss, she grabs him by the genitles. She shouts into the microphone.

"SEE THIS! This is MINE. THIS IS WHERE MY FUTURE BABIES WILL COME FROM. IF ANYONE BUT ME TOUCHES IT, I'LL KILL THEM!"

Everyone gasps in shock. Jim is terrified.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are having an argument over Quinn's behavior at the tournament.

Jim said "Quinn, what the hell was all of that about?"

Quinn said "I was just showing my love."

"BY GRABBING MY BALLS IN PUBLIC AND THREATENING EVERYONE!?"

"Jim, calm down. What's the deal with you, anyway?"

"Quinn, this isn't you at all."

Quinn said "What, you liked me better as a victim."

Jim rubs his temples and groans in frustration.

"Quinn, it's one thing to defend yourself. But this new agressive attitude of yours is, well, scary."

"What's the matter? Can't stand a strong woman?"

Jim is now even more frustrated.

"No, but your conduct lately would be scary from anyone regardless of gender."

Storm comes up to the arguing couple and whimpers.

Quinn said, in an angry tone, "Not now, Storm!"

Jim said "Hey, don't take it out on the dog!"

Quinn turns her attention back to Jim.

"You just don't like it that I don't need you to protect me anymore. You're a sexist, patriarchal...MAN!"

Jim said "And you're a bullying feminazi!"

They now stare daggers at each other. Frightened, Storm nudges Quinn and whimpers. She turns to the dog, her eyes flashing with rage.

"I said NOT NOW!"

She angrily kicks her puppy.

"YELP!"

Jim shouted "QUINN, WHAT THE HELL!? THAT'S ANIMAL ABUSE!"

Quinn gasps, shocked and horrified by what she's just done.

"OHMYGOD!"

She runs to Storm and tries to cuddle him.

"OH, Storm. I'm so sorry. Mommy didn't mean to hit you."

Storm runs from her and into his doggie bed, tail between his legs the whole time.

Quinn said "Oh, God, What have I done? I'm a terrible person. I'm like that rich mother who gave her son permanent brain damage. I'M JUST LIKE BARBARA BUSH!"

* * *

 **A psychiatrists office, a few days later...**

Quinn is laying on the couch while talking to Dr. Millepedis (The French psychiatrist from "Psycho Therapy".)

Quinn said "After hitting my dog I realized I had developed an anger problem and that's when I made this appointment."

Dr. Millepedis said "I see, Quinn. When did these agression issues start?"

Quinn said "It began when I spent Thanksgiving with my boyfriends parents. His father treated me like crap from the moment I showed up. He made me sleep in a tent during a thunderstorm. During Thanksgiving dinner he and my boyfriend got into an argument that turned physical. I stepped in and Jim's father threw me to the floor and started kicking me. Jim knocked him out for doing that, but I felt so damn helpless and weak. A few weeks later I found out that a guy who had a crush on me in high school has been stalking me ever sense. After I told him to stay away from me he went crazy, broke into my apartment and tried to kill me. Jim stopped him and he's now in a mental hospital. I decided to take up martial arts after that. My instructor was a militant feminist who taught me to show no mercy. That's when I started being crazy agressive with everyone."

Dr. Millepedis wrote some notes. He then looked at Quinn afterwards.

"Quinn, I think these recent traumas have caused you to develop a victim complex. You felt helpless and resented it. When you started fighting back that resentment caused you to be needlessly agressive toward everyone."

Quinn asked "So, what should I do?"

Dr. Millepedis said "You need to talk these feelings out with your loved ones. Let them know that you were made to feel helpless and weak. Tell them you need some reassurance that you are not. The two physical assaults are not a unique experience. These things can happen to anyone. It doesn't mean that you are weak or stupid."

Quinn seems to feel better.

* * *

 **The Morgendorffer house, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are having Sunday dinner with her parents. Daria is there with her new boyfriend, Richard Gilstead. Richard looks like a blond Michael Fulton and is a history teacher.

Richard said "Thanks for having me over, Mr. and Mrs. Morgendorffer."

Helen said "Our pleasure, Richard."

Jake said "Hey, remember the first time Daria brought a boyfriend for dinner?"

Daria said "Yes. Unfortunately, I also remember him running off with you and Jeffy to catch a squirrel and then ditch us to go go-karting all night."

Quinn said "Can we please not talk about him."

Jake said "Yeah, he grew up to be a stalker. Stalking my little girl. AAAGH! I'LL KILL HIM!"

Helen steps in.

"JAKE! Remember what I said before Richard got here? About not acting all crazy?"

Jake said "Dammit, Helen, why are you always telling me what to do?"

Helen gets angry.

"Because you act like a petulant child who can't get over his daddy issues."

Jake angrily said "Just like you can't get over your control issues."

Quinn pounds her fist on the table.

"KNOCK IT OFF, YOU TWO!"

Helen flippantly asked "What are you going to do if we don't? Beat us up Bruce Lee style?"

Quinn and Helen stare daggers at each other. They both look ready to kill.

Richard asked Daria "Are they always like this?"

Daria told her boyfriend "No, they normally use weapons."

Helen snapped "Don't you dare start with your sarcasm."

Jim decides he needs to de-escalate things, fast.

"Would you people just calm down?"

Quinn, Jake and Helen shouted "MAKE US!"

Jim sighed. He gets a bottle of pills out of his pocket.

"Okay, look. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but I have these anti-anxiety pills. I think you should each take one."

Helen said "I don't think so, Jim. Taking pills to alter your mood is unnatural."

Jake said "You're one to talk, former acid queen."

Helen turns to Jim.

"Give me the pills."

* * *

 **The living room, an hour later...**

Everyone is seated in a circle on the floor. Richard is playing an acoustic guitar while everyone else sings.

"Koom-by-ya, My Lord. Koom-by-ya.

Koom-by-ya, My Lord, Koom-by-ya."

The song ends.

Richard said "That was fun. What should we sing next?"

Daria said "You pick."

Quinn said "I feel soooo good right now. I love you guys."

Helen said "I can't remember the last time I felt so relaxed."

Jim smiles.

"You guys wanna know something funny? These so-called mood altering pills are just sugar pills. Our current high spirits are genuine."

Jake is suddenly enraged.

"YOU MEAN WE JUST SANG IN A CIRCLE FOR NOTHING?"

Frustrated, Helen said "Jake, calm down.

"But, Helen..."

"STOP WHINING, YOU IMMATURE JERK!"

"CONTROLLING BITCH!"

Helen punches Jake. Everyone gasps in shock. Jake punches her back.

Helen shouted "HEY, YOU CAN'T HIT ME! I'M A WOMAN!"

Jake said "Sometimes I wonder."

Helen slugs him again.

Quinn shouted "HEY!"

She punches Helen.

Daria shouts "DON'T HIT MOM!"

She punches Quinn. Quinn then punches Daria.

Richard shouted "DON'T HIT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

He shoves Quinn off of Daria. Jim reacts by punching Richard.

"DON'T SHOVE MY GIRLFRIEND!"

The gloves come off. Helen and Jake are beating each other up while Daria and Quinn beat each other up.

"BRAT!"

Daria punches Quinn.

"BRAIN!"

Quinn punches Daria.

"BRAT!"

Daria kicks Quinn in the stomach.

"BRAIN!"

Quinn puts Daria in a headlock and pummels her face.

At the same time Jim punches Richard.

"GEEK!"

Richard punches Jim.

"GEARHEAD!"

Jim slams Richard into the wall face first.

Helen and Jake are exchanging punches.

"BITCH!"

Jake uppercuts Helen.

"MAMAS BOY!"

Helen smashes a table lamp over Jake's head.

* * *

 **Three hours later...**

The living room is completely destroyed. All four Morgendorffers as well as Jim and Richard are bruised and bloodied. Richard is even missing some teeth and has a broken nose.

Quinn said "I can't believe we just completely beat the shit out of each other."

Jim said "Sorry I busted you in the mouth, Richard."

Richard said "Sorry I shobed y'ur girlfriend, Jim."

Daria said "Sorry I called you a brat, Quinn."

Quinn said "Sorry I hit you, Daria."

Helen said "Jake, I'm sorry I punched you first."

Jake said "And I'm sorry I punched you back."

Daria said "At least we got it all out of our system."

Helen looks thoughtful.

"I wonder what came over us."

Daria said "I know exactly what came over us. It was the simple fact that all people are naturally violent."

Quinn said "Daria, how can you say that?"

"You mean besides the fact that we all just spent three hours beating each other up?"

Quinn frowns.

"I see your point.

 **End.**


	9. The Spiral Path

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme:** "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne

We see Quinn and Jim having a romantic dinner. Next, we see Quinn entertaining clients while Jake beams proudly. We then see Eric trying to boss Helen around, but Helen is having none of it. Cut to Stacy and Chuck holding hands while Sandi looks on enviously. Kevin and Brittany are making out in the girls locker room while Brittany is supposed to be coaching. Cut to Mr. DeMartino going totally berserk. Cut to Quinn having a girls night out with Stacy and Lindy. Montage ends with Quinn's smiling face in front of a pink background. Below that:

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"The Spiral Path"**

 **written by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **Mirage, California, April, 2005...**

In the basement of the run down house that they call home Mystic Spiral are practicing for an upcoming gig. They play the following song...

"Pain and stirfe

Twist the knife

It falls apart

End my life"

At this point, Jesse begins his guitar solo. He kills it until...

"SREEEEEECHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-URG"

He breaks a guitar string after generating some unpleasant feedback. They all stop playing.

Max said "Jesse, what the hell?"

Nick added "Yeah, man. You've botched that part how many times now?"

Jesses, looking like his usual detached self, just shrugs.

"I dunno."

Max and Nick both stare daggers at him. Trent decides to defuse the situation.

"Hey, Jess, is something wrong?"

Max said "Yeah, dude. We got a gig tonight. Can't have you flake on us while on stage."

Jesse said "Sorry, man. I just had a lot on my mind lately."

Trent asked "Like what?"

Jesse answered "I'm in love."

His bandmates all gasp.

Max said "You can't be in love, man. That's Nick's thing. You're supposed to be our resident womanizer."

Nick walks up to Jesse and pats him on the back.

"Congratulations, man. So who is she?"

"Her stage name is Exotica, but her real name is Jennifer."

Max said "Dude! You're gonna go monogamous for a stripper!?"

"Yeah."

Nick said "I'm happy for ya, dude."

Angry, Max said "Don't freakin' encourage him, Nick."

Nick gets mad at Max.

"Dude, don't start in on that just because you're all bitter."

"Don't get on me just because you're engaged."

Trent said "Um, guys..."

Max and Nick shout over each other while Jesse just stands and stares at nothing in particular. Trent now looks worried.

* * *

 **Lawndale, New Jersey, February, 2007...**

Quinn and Jim are eating dinner in their apartment.

Quinn asked "Jim, wanna do something special for Valentines Day?"

Jim said "Just spending it with you would make it special."

Quinn smiles.

"Jim, that's so sweet of you to say that."

Jim said "We could try another romantic camping trip if it weren't the fact that this is still winter."

Quinn said "After what happened last time?! No thanks."

Just then, there's a knock on the door.

Jim said "I'll get it."

He opens the door. It's Trent.

Since Jim doesn't know him he asked "Can I help you?"

Trent, who doesn't know Jim, assumes he got the wrong apartment.

"Sorry, wrong place. Um, Do you know which apartment is Quinn Morgendorffer's?"

Jim turned and said "Quinn, it's for you."

Quinn approaches the door and recognizes him.

"Trent!?"

"Hey, Quinn."

Jim is now confused.

"Do you two know each other?"

Quinn said "Jim, this is Trent, Jane's brother. Trent, this is my boyfriend, Jim."

Trent and Jim shake hands.

Quinn asked "What are you doing here?"

Trent said "Long story. Can I come in?"

"Sure."

* * *

 **Music:** "Crazy Bitch" by Buckcherry

Quinn, Jim and Trent are seated at the table and catching up.

Trent said "Thanks for the food. I haven't had a home cooked meal in a while."

Quinn asked "So, why are you here?"

"I need a place to crash."

Puzzled, Quinn said "And instead of asking Daria and Jane you came all the way from New York to ask me!?"

Trent said "Yeah. Daria and Jane are sorta mad at me right now. I would've asked your parents but considering how your mom got on my case that time me and Janey were crowded out of our house I decided you were a safer bet. I didn't know you had a live-in boyfriend."

Jim asked "Why are Daria and Jane mad at you?"

Quinn added "Yeah, what happened?"

Trent said "A year ago I got a new band together, Helpful Mystic Korn Explosion, and quit my job at O'Malley's to pursue music full time. After a whole year without a decent gig the others quit and got jobs. I lost my apartment because I didn't have any money so I asked to crash with Daria and Jane and they slammed the door in my face."

Quinn said "Duh, They don't wanna be mooched off of. They can't afford to support you."

Trent said "I remembered how nice you were to me when I crashed there before so I came here."

Jim said "I guess we could let you stay until you get your own place."

Quinn gives Jim and anxious look. He obviously doesn't know what he's getting himself into.

"Jim, can I have a word with you? In private."

Quinn's tone lets Jim know that he doesn't really have a choice. They both go into the bedroom and shut the door.

Quinn said "Jim, I don't think that it's a good idea for him to stay here."

* * *

 **Mirage, 2005...**

At the county courthouse Nick and his girlfriend, whose name I don't remember, are getting married. The rest of Mystic Spiral are acting as witnesses.

The judge said "By the power vested in me by the State of California I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Nick and his bride kiss. Trent and Jessie look disinterested while Max looks pissed off. Later, as they are walking through the hall, they're talking.

Trent asked "So, how are you gonna spend your honeymoon?"

Nick said "Two weeks in Tijuana."

His bride said "It's all we can afford right now."

Max said "Well, when you get back we can score some more gigs."

Jessie said "Yeah, we gotta be on the verge of making it by now."

Nick and his new wife look doubtful.

Nick's wife asked him "Do you wanna tell them, or should I?"

Nick said "I'll do it."

He faces his bandmates.

"Look, guys, it's been four years and we're no closer to a break than we were in Lawndale. Face it, Max's brother took us for a ride."

Angry, Max said "What are you getting at, Nick?"

"I'm leaving Mystic Spiral."

The other three gasp.

Jessie said "Dude!"

Trent said "Whoa!"

Nick continued "I need to take my future more seriously. I got a job and I start right after we get back from our honeymoon."

Max snarled "You can't quit now. We're on the verge of making it big."

Nick said "No we aren't, Max. Face facts, Mystic Spiral will never hit it big. We're probably gonna wind up doing Hall and Oates covers at weddings before too long. I want out before that happens."

"You're outta your mind, dude. The Spiral sticks together no matter what."

Trent said "Calm down, guys. Nick, are you sure about this?"

"Yes."

With that, Nick and his bride walk away. The other three guys just stand there in stunned silence.

* * *

 **Lawndale, 2007...**

Quinn and Jim are discussing the situation with Trent.

Quinn said "Jim, we can't let him stay here."

"Why not?"

"Because he's a lazy bum who'll probably mooch off of us indefinitely."

Jim said "Are you serious?"

"Yes."

Jim said "So we just kick him out in the street? He's your friend, Quinn."

Quinn said "If we let him stay here he'll just sit around and veg while we work our asses off to support him."

Jim said "Okay, so how did you get him off his ass while he was staying with you, Daria and Jane in New York."

"Jane pointed out that we couldn't afford to support him and he had to make a contribution."

"So we do the same thing. We let him stay here but let him know that we at least expect him to help out."

Quinn looks thoughtful.

* * *

Trent is scratching Storm behind the ears when Quinn and Jim come back out.

Trent said "Cool dog. What's his name?"

Jim said "Storm."

"Cool."

Quinn said "Trent, Jim and I talked it over and decided you can stay."

"Cool."

Quinn went on "But, you have to help out. And you either get a band together and score some gigs or get a job."

Trent said "I can do that."

Quinn and Jim join him at the table.

Trent said "This is just like the time I stayed with you, Jane and Daria. Remember when they spent a weekend in Washington, DC and we had the whole place to ourselves. That was a hot night."

Quinn is visibly mortified.

"DAMMIT, TRENT! WE AGREED TO NEVER SPEAK OF THAT!"

Trent scratches his head in thought.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that."

Quinn is now really pissed.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer and Daughter consulting, the next day...**

Quinn is in her office with her assistant, Erin Chambers. She's fuming about the night before.

"...so I had to go through the shame of telling my current boyfriend that back while I was getting over my ex I got drunk one night and had sex with Trent. It was sooo humiliating."

Erin asked "How'd Jim take it?"

Quinn said "Since it was before I met him he actually took it real well. It was still embarrassing to tell him about my biggest sexual regret, though."

"Do Daria and Jane know?"

"No, and I wanna keep it that way. One of the reasons I regret it is because I know Daria had a huge crush on him back in high school."

Erin said "Look at it this way, Quinn, you didn't waste eight years of your life married to some bastard who gave you herpes."

Now Quinn looks a little guilty.

"Sorry."

Erin said "It's all right, Quinn. I was just pointing out that we all have sexual experiences that we regret. It's awkward and embarrassing, true, but a drunken hookup in your past isn't the end of the world."

Quinn looks thoughtful.

"I guess I was overreacting."

"Just a little bit."

Quinn decides to change the subject.

"Speaking of exes, how is that POS Brian?"

Erin said "He managed to blow his half of everything in less than a year. He actually called me the other day to beg for a handout. I told him where he could stick his request."

Quinn giggles.

"You go, girl."

They fist bump.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, late afternoon...**

Quinn has just come home from work and is dismayed to find Trent sleeping on the couch, right where he was when she and Jim left that morning. She walks over to him and gently shakes him in order to wake him up.

"Trent."

No response.

"Trent?"

Still no response. She shakes him harder.

"TRENT!"

Trent wakes up with a start.

"I didn't know she was only fifteen, I swear!"

He sees where he is and calms down.

"Oh, Quinn. What's going on?"

"Trent, what have you done today?"

Trent answered "What have you?"

Quinn rolls her eyes.

"I went to the gym. Then I came home, took a shower, changed clothes and went to work. I just came back from work and decided to check on you before changing clothes and walking my dog."

Trent asked "Where's Jim?"

"He doesn't get off work for another hour. Now tell me about your day."

Trent said "I caught up on sleep."

Quinn smiles. Same old Trent.

"Look," she said, "I don't mean to nag but you need to remember our terms. You can stay here for now but you can't stay forever. Once you're back on your feet you need to get your own place. And to do that you need to either one, get a band together and start playing gigs or two, get a job. We'll support you for now but not forever. Don't drag your ass on this."

Trent notes the sweet yet serious tone of Quinn's voice. She's laying down the law without being a bitch about it.

Trent said "Relax, I'll take care of it."

Quinn is skeptical.

"How?"

Trent says nothing, which tells Quinn everything.

"That's what I thought. Trent, I won't have you laying around and mooching off of me and Jim."

Now, Trent looks sad.

"I'm sorry. It's just so hard to accept that your dreams will never come true. Music is all I know."

Quinn now feels sorry for him.

"Tell you what, Trent. Tomorrows Saturday so how about you, me and Jim go to Dega Street and put up flyers for a band. Maybe even see if any places are hiring. You'd have a job working in an environment that's familiar."

Trent said "I dunno."

Quinn said "Or you can move to the homeless shelter."

Trent knows she's serious.

* * *

 **Mirage, 2005...**

In the basement of their home the remaining members of Mystic Spiral are practicing. Actually, it's just Trent and Max. And instead of practicing they're wondering where the hell Jessie is.

Max said "Dude, where the hell is Jessie?"

Trent said "He spent last night with his new girlfriend."

Max angrily said "That idiot! Did he remember we have practice today?"

"I think so."

"Do you have that girls number?"

"No."

Max angrily throws down his drumsticks.

"God Dammit?"

At this point the phone rings.

Trent said "I'll get it."

Trent goes to the kitchen and answers the phone.

"Hello?"

On the other end of the line, a guy with way too much bling shouts "WHERE'S EXOTICA!?"

Trent said "Whoa, man! Calm down."

The guy said "Jennifer was supposed to be at work today. She isn't at her place, that's the first number I called. You her loser boyfriend?"

Trent said "You mean Jessie? He's not here, and neither is Jennifer."

"Dammit!"

The guy hangs up. Trent puts the phone back on the hook. He's about to leave when it rings again. He picks up.

"Hello."

Jessie's on the other end.

"Yo, Trent."

"Jessie, where are you? We're supposed to be practicing right now."

Jessie said "Jennifer wanted to move to Miami. I went with her."

Trent said "What about the band?"

Jessie looks vacant.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, bro."

Trent's eyes go wide.

"You're leaving Mystic Spiral!?"

"Yeah."

With that Jessie hangs up. Trent looks like he was just stabbed in the gut.

* * *

 **Lawndale, 2007...**

 **Music:** "Bitches and Money" by Buckcherry

Quinn, Jim and Trent are walking down Dega Street on a clear Saturday afternoon. Each of them is carrying a stack of flyers.

Trent said "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Quinn said "Duh, I'm a marketing consultant. I know what we're doing. Putting out flyers and holding auditions is the best way to go."

They pass by Axl's piercing parlor. Trent stares fondly in the window, which Quinn notices.

She said "Don't even think about it. You still need a job and getting some piercings and more tattoos is only gonna hurt that."

Jim said "But you have piercings, Quinn."

"Ears, Jim. A girl with pierced ears isn't scary."

"I wasn't talking about the ones in your ears, Quinn."

Quinn blushes with embarrassment. Just then, she notices something. That something is a "Help Wanted" sign in the window of the guitar shop.

Quinn said "Guys, look."

Jim and Trent see the sign.

Jim said "It's perfect. Especially since you're a musician, Trent."

Trent scratches his chin in thought.

"I dunno."

Quinn said "It's perfect. It's the kind of job where you can work without sacrificing your devotion to music."

Trent looks disinterested. Quinn channels her inner Helen.

"Trent, if you want to stay with us then the subject is not up for debate. We're going in there right now, young man."

Trent turns to Jim.

"Help?"

Jim said "Sorry, I'm with Quinn on this."

Trent lets out a defeated sigh.

* * *

 **Mirage, 2005...**

Trent has just gotten off of the phone with Jessie and is breaking the news to Max. Max reacts as expected.

"WHAT!? JESSIE RAN OFF WITH A STRIPPER!?"

Trent said "I'm afraid so."

Max throws his drumsticks across the room.

"SONOFABITCH!"

Trent said "Whoa, Max. Calm down, dude."

Max said "Calm down! CALM DOWN!? HOW THE HELL CAN I CALM DOWN!? THE SPIRAL'S DEAD MAN!"

Trent said "Dude, the dream's still alive. We just need a new guitarist and a bass player."

Max shouted "WAKE UP, DUDE! Nick was right, we're just gonna wind up townies playing sappy eighties love ballads at wedding gigs. I believed in the dream more than anyone and look where I am. I'm 29 with no job, no money, I live in a rat infested shit hole and my friends are all deserting me. We followed that rainbow and reached the end. It turns out that the pot of gold is really a bucket of piss. I can't take anymore and...and...I QUIT!"

With that, Max kicks his drum kit and storms off. Trent looks thoughtful.

"The dream...over!?"

He hangs his head in sorrow.

* * *

 **Lawndale, 2007...**

Trent and Jim are waiting while Quinn sweet talks the manager.

Trent asked "Are you sure about this, man."

Jim said "You know the affect Quinn has on men. That manager doesn't stand a chance. You're guaranteed to get that job."

Quinn is sweet talking the manager.

She said "He's perfect. An experienced guitarist who knows the instrument inside and out. Also, he's my friend and it would mean so much to me if you'd hire him."

The manager, an aging hipster, said "Are you sure? I mean he seems kinda, I don't know, lethargic."

Quinn smiles suggestively and says "Please?"

The manager is now totally under her spell. Later, Quinn gives Trent the good news.

Trent said "So, I have a job now?"

Quinn said "You start on Monday."

Jim said "Told ya."

Trent said "Um, Thanks, Quinn."

Quinn smiles, feeling very pleased with herself.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, morning...**

Quinn, Jim and their houseguest, Trent, are getting ready for work.

Trent complained "I can't believe I have to start this early."

Jim said "Don't worry. You get to sell guitars and meet up with people to start a band."

Quinn added "And besides, the hours are flexible enough that you can still find plenty of time to practice your music and get some gigs."

Trent said "It still kinda feels like selling out."

Quinn said "You're not selling out. You're making a smart investment in your future."

Trent is doubtful.

"Wish me luck. I'll need it."

With that, Trent leaves.

Quinn said "God, I hope he doesn't screw this up."

Later, at the guitar shop Trent is asleep at the sales counter.

* * *

 **Mirage, 2005...**

 **Music:** "Mas Tequila" by Sammy Hagar

At a seedy night club Trent is alone on stage with his guitar. The crowd looks really rough. Some are even getting into fist fights that no one is bothering to break up. A biker chick, who's obviously drunk, is grinding on a biker dude. His girlfriend gets right in the drunk woman's face.

"That's my man, you skank!"

The two women start to beat each other up. On stage Trent plugs in to the amp and walks up to the microphone.

He said "Hello. I know you were expecting Mystic Spiral but over the past week my bandmates all quit on me. I'm Trent Lane and this song is called "Ow, My Face!"

Trent proceeds to play the song, but without drums, Jessie's guitar or a bass it sucks even worse than usual.

"I'm glad that you're happy, watching my pain

Burning crop circles on my soul's razor plain

We didn't have no love scene but you cut to the chase

You're cutting off my nose just to spite my face."

He begins the chorus. It sounds week without Jessie and Nick singing back up.

"OW! MY NOSE! OW! MY FACE!"

The crowd starts to turn on Trent.

"HEY, YOU SUCK."

"GET OFF THE STAGE, LOSER."

Just then, someone throws a whiskey bottle on stage and it shatters at Trent's feet. Trent tries to finish the song but the crowd start throwing hot wings and eggs at him. He stops playing when a couple of the hot wings hit him in the face. Trent sighs and walks off the stage, his head hanging in shame. A raw egg hits him on the way out. Once he's gone the crowd start fighting each other and a riot ensues.

* * *

 **Lawndale, May, 2005...**

Trent walks up to Casa Lane with an acoustic guitar in his right hand, an electric guitar strapped to his back, a small bag with all his other possessions slung over his shoulder and a look of defeat on his face. He smiles as he realizes that he's home. He rings the doorbell. A balding man in a wife beater and jeans answers.

"What do you want?"

Trent said "Who are you?"

The man said "I'm the guy who lives here."

Confused, Trent said "My parents took you in!? Cool."

"Hey, burn boy, whoever your parents are they're not here. Now get lost."

"But...but.."

The guy pulls out a shot gun.

"Get off my property."

Trent said "Dude, be cool. This is Vincent and Amanda Lane's property. I'm their son, Trent."

"I bought this house from them four years ago."

Trent's eyes go wide.

"They sold the house after I left!?"

"That's right, pal. Now beat it."

Trent stands there in shock. The guy fires a blast into the air as a warning.

"GIT!"

Trent runs away in terror, leaving all of his things behind in the process.

* * *

 **Lawndale, 2007...**

At the guitar shop there is a long line at the checkout counter. Trent is asleep on the job again. The manager sees this and is pissed.

"Again."

He walks right up to the sleeping Trent and shakes him awake. Trent wakes up with a start.

"I swear, I never touched your daughter."

Trent realizes where he is and calms down.

"Sorry."

The manager said "You've been here a whole week and all you do is sleep on the job. YOU'RE FIRED!"

Trent said "Aw, man."

* * *

 **That evening at Quinn and Jim's apartment...**

Quinn, Jim and Trent are eating dinner and talking about their day.

Quinn said "...so I told him that he needed to change the color scheme of his business logo. Neon and pastel is so 1985."

She turns her attention to Trent.

"How's the job? You must be proud."

Trent said "I was fired for sleeping on the job today."

Both Jim and Quinn's eyes go wide.

Jim said "FIRED!?"

Quinn said "SLEEPING ON THE JOB!?"

Trent said "It was for the best. Selling guitars was just too hard. I'm sticking with what I know, playing music."

Quinn and Jim are absolutely livid.

Quinn said "Dammit, Trent! We've been going out of our way to help you and you blow it after just one week!?"

Just then, the phone rings.

Jim said "I'll get it."

As he gets up to answer the phone Quinn continues to scold Trent. She sounds more like a mother talking to an unruly child than a friend who's been let down.

"I'm very disappointed in you, young man. My boyfriend and I opened up our home to you and made every effort to help you out of the kindness of our hearts and you can't even try to hold down a part time job. What's wrong with you!?"

Meanwhile, at the phone...

Jim said "Hello...Jane!...Yes, he's here."

He hands the phone to Trent.

"It's for you. It's your sister."

Trent takes the phone.

"Hey, Janey."

On the other end of the line Jane is calling from a bar in Queens.

"Good news, Trent. I just talked to Mr. O'Malley. He agreed to give you your old bartending job back."

Trent smiled.

* * *

 **Chez Pierre, the following evening...**

Quinn and Jim are having a romantic dinner to celebrate Trent's return to New York.

Jim said "Thank god Jane finally came around."

Quinn said "No kidding. I was ready to kill him when she called."

Jim looks guilty.

"Quinn, taking him in was my idea. I'm sorry I even suggested it."

"That's okay, honey, you didn't know him like I do. But for future reference, the next time I warn you about someone I know please listen to me."

Jim said "Will do."

They smile at each other.

* * *

 **O'Malley's Brew Pub, Queens...**

Trent is at the bar. He's supposed to be serving drinks. Instead, he's sleeping.

 **End.**


	10. Accept No Substitute

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme:** "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne

We see Quinn and Jim having a romantic dinner. Next, we see Quinn entertaining clients while Jake beams proudly. We then see Eric trying to boss Helen around, but Helen is having none of it. Cut to Stacy and Chuck holding hands while Sandi looks on enviously. Kevin and Brittany are making out in the girls locker room while Brittany is supposed to be coaching. Cut to Mr. DeMartino going totally berserk. Cut to Quinn having a girls night out with Stacy and Lindy. Montage ends with Quinn's smiling face in front of a pink background. Below that:

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Accept No Substitute"**

 **written by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **Lawndale High, day...**

The economics teacher, Mr. Keller (Ms. Bennett was fired for her role in Ms. Li's embezzlement), was lecturing the class. Mr. Keller was balding 60 year old with a beer gut. He faced the class.

"Class, today we're taking a break from our lesson to hear about marketing in the real world. To that end allow me to introduce our special guest speaker, Jake Morgendorffer."

Jake enters the classroom and stands next to Mr. Keller.

Mr. Keller said "Mr. Morgendorffer is a marketing consultant. He runs a small firm alongside his daughter. He's here to tell us how marketing principles apply in today's business world."

Jake said "It's a pleasure to be here. Hey, kids,..." he dangles his tongue out of the side of his mouth, "...WAZZZUP!"

His failed attempt at being cool elicits no reaction save for a few snickers. Jake is embarrassed.

"C'mon, gang, I'm cool. I'm 'with it.'"

One student, who looks like a blond version of Sandi Griffin, said "Like, whatever. Geek."

Mr. Keller said "Now, Mandy..."

Jake said "Let me handle this."

He turns his attention to Mandy.

"Now, listen here, young lady..."

Mandy waves her hand dismissively.

"Whatever, loser."

Now, Jake gets angry.

"Loser, LOSER! Oh, is being called that the story of my life. Ever since military school I was taunted for not being good. "Climb the rope, crybaby.""Men never quit." And then I was forced to EAT UNWASHED DRESS SOCKS ALL BECAUSE MY OLD MAN WANTED..."

Mr. Keller tries to calm him down.

"Now, Mr. Morgendorffer..."

Mandy throws a wad of paper at Jake. It hits him square in the eye.

"GAAAHHH! DAMMIT!"

He tries to charge at her. Mr. Keller holds him back.

"Mr. Morgendorffer, please calm down."

Jake continues to rage.

"JUST LIKE THE SNOTTY LITTLE BITCH WHO STOOD ME UP FOR MR. CAMPUS HOT SHOT! GODDAMMIT!"

"MR. MORGENDORFFER, PLEASE!"

Just then, Mr. Keller goes pale and starts to sweat profusely. He clutches his chest.

"AAAHHH! MY HEART!"

He collapses, which snaps Jake out of his rant and sends him into a full blown panic.

"GAH! WHAT'S THE NUMBER FOR 911!?"

* * *

 **Outside the school, a short time later...**

 **Music:** "Chopan's Death March"

Jake, the faculty and several students are watching Mr. Keller be loaded onto the ambulence. His heart attack was so severe that instead of putting him on a streatcher the paramedics placed him in a body bag. The current principal, Mr. DeMartino, is livid. He proceeds to chew Jake out.

"I can't BELIEVE you gave one of my best teachers a FATAL HEART ATTACK!"

Jake said "I didn't mean to kill him. It was an accident, I swear!"

"THAT'S WHY I'M NOT PRESSING CHARGES!"

Jake takes a huge step back.

"EEP! Um...Let me make it up to you."

Mr. DeMartino said "And just HOW are you going to do THAT?"

* * *

 **Morgendorffer and Daughter Consulting, later that day...**

Jake is in Quinn's office explaining the situation.

Quinn said "WHAT!? You volunteered me as a substitute teacher!?"

Jake said "I had to. It's my fault that the economics teacher died. It's just until Mr. DeMartino can hire a replacement."

"Dah-ad, I'm not qualified to teach classes."

"But you tutored Kevin during your senior year."

Quinn said "That's totally different. I was working one on one with a fellow student, not teaching a whole class."

Jake whined "But we need the publicity. It'll make up for me being the guy who killed a high school teacher."

Quinn said "Look, I can't. I don't know how to teach a class."

"Daria did it her senior year, during the teacher strike. How hard can it be?"

Quinn looks very apprehensive.

* * *

 **The next day at Lawndale High...**

 **Music:** "Cry For Help" by Shinedown

Mr. DeMartino is talking to the economics class.

"Due to yesterday's unfortunate TRAGEDY, I need to find a new ECONOMICS TEACHER. In the MEANTIME I have a volunteer SUBSTITUTE. Say hello to your sub, Ms. Morgendorffer."

Quinn enters the classroom and takes her place in front of the class.

Mr. DeMartino said "They're all YOURS."

With that, he leaves. Quinn faces the class. She immediately sees four girls. One, Mandy, is the blonde who set Jake off the day before. The second, Alyssa, is a redhead who reminded Quinn of herself at that age. The third, Traci, is a brunette who's meek demeanor is reminiscent of Stacy in high school. The fourth, Stephanie, is a beautiful but dim witted asian a la Tiffany. All four are stylishly dressed.

Quinn thought _They must be the current equivalent of the Fashion Club._

Quinn said "Good morning, class. I'm your substitute, Ms. Morgendorffer."

One of the boys raises his hand.

"Yes, um..." Quinn looks at her seating chart "...Johnny?"

Johnny said "Ms. Morgendorffer, if you need help with anything let me know."

Another boy said "Can I be excused? I want to get you a soda?"

Yet another boy said "Can I help? I really wanna help you, Ms. Morgendorffer."

Mandy is now staring daggers at Quinn.

Quinn said "That's real sweet of you guys, but what I really would like is for you to pay attention."

Mandy raises her hand.

"Yes?"

"Ms. Morgendorker, since you're only, like, the substitute can we just have our reading assignments?"

Quinn said "That's not how it works here."

Mandy defiantly folds her arms.

"Geek."

Quinn shoots Mandy a dirty look. Every high school has a Sandi Griffin and Mandy's it.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, that evening...**

Quinn is telling Jim about her day.

"...so Mandy just kept being all bitchy while her three friends went along with it. It reminded me so much of the Fashion Club it made me sick. On top of that all of the guys in the class keep asking me out. It was my high school days all over again."

Jim said "If that was your high school experience consider yourself extremely lucky. At least you didn't get beat up by the quarterback for talking to his girlfriend."

Quinn said "The worst part is that I don't even know what I'm doing."

"I wish I could help but I know even less about this than you do."

Just then, Quinn gets an idea.

"I need to make a phone call."

She gets up from the table and dials a number.

"Daria, it's Quinn. I need some advice."

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn is on the phone with Daria explaining the situation.

"...so I got roped into subing economics until a replacement can be hired."

Daria said "Talk about role reversal."

Quinn said "That's why I called you. You were in a similar situation during that teacher strike when we were in high school. I figured you could give me some tips."

Daria explained "When I was subbing for Mr. O'Neil's class I looked at the lesson plan, looked at the students and adjusted accordingly. The way to reach them is to speak of the material in a manner that makes it amusing and relatable. Does that make sense?"

Quinn looks thoughtful.

"Yes. I'm surprised you went to grad school instead of becoming a teacher."

"Please, I'm jaded enough without trying to teach a bunch of apes who'd rather play sports and dress up than do any actual learning."

Quinn couldn't help laughing at that one.

* * *

 **Lawndale High, the next day...**

 **Music:** "Indestructable" by Disturbed

Quinn is lecturing the class.

"...so when a product reaches maturity that means demand is peaking. Think of it like a fad. A few people like it, it catches on, becomes super popular before finally getting old. A business cycle is basically the same thing."

She has the undivided attention of most of the boys in the glass, many of whom obviously have the hots for her.

Quinn thought _I've still got it._

While she has the full attention of most of the class, the mean girl squad are another story. Mandy just sits there looking disdainful while Traci nervously follows her lead, visibly out of fear. Stephanie looks lost in a fog. Only Alyssa seems to be taking notes. Mandy notices this and is displeased.

Mandy said "Alyssa, are you actually taking notes?"

Nervous, Alyssa said "No, I'm just...well..." she thinks fast, "...pretending to take notes so the teacher thinks I'm paying attention."

"Who, like, cares what a teacher thinks? They're such losers."

Stephanie said "Yeeaahh...whaat...geeeks."

Shaking, Traci said "And so...geeky."

Mandy continued "Besides, what you should worry about is what your friends think. You don't want people to think you're a brain, do you?"

Alyssa said "Oh, Mandee, of course not. I just want to keep out of trouble."

Quinn overhears this and feels bad for Alyssa. One of the guys raises his hand. He's wearing a football jersey and has a goofy grin.

Quinn said "Yes?"

"Will you go to the prom with me?"

Quinn rolls her eyes. First the new Sandi Griffin, now the new Kevin Thompson.

* * *

 **The hallway, later on...**

Quinn is on her way to the teachers lounge to have lunch. She passes by the mean girls.

Mandy said "...so I told him I'd never go out with a guy who has such a lousy car."

Alyssa said "God, I know. My date last night tried to take me to a chain restaurant. No Chez Pierre, no second date. That's what I told him."

The girls all laugh while Quinn looks more than a little guilty.

 _God, was I really that terrible in high school. Mandy's a total bitch and the others are just acting shallow out of fear. I can't believe I let Sandi control me as long as I did._

Since the girls are obviously going to the cafeteria and the teacher's lounge is on the way there Quinn decides to eavesdrop. A guy walks by them. This guy is good looking but obviously not one of the popular kids. He seems to be a little on the brainy side. Alyssa gives him a look as he passed by. Quinn knew the look all too well.

 _Oh, God! She has a thing for him._

Mandy noticed Alyssa looking at the brainy guy.

"Alyssa, were you just eyeing Andrew Farley?"

Thinking fast, Alyssa said "What? No, I was just amazed by what a fashion disaster he is."

"Well, be careful. What do you think would happen to your status if people thought you liked a brain?"

Alyssa said "EEEWWWWW!"

"Exactly."

Quinn stared daggers at Mandy. They enter the cafeteria. Quinn now feels sorry for Alyssa. Next, she enters the teacher's lounge and gasps. The football coach, Kevin Thompson, and the cheerleading coach, his wife Brittany, are making out hot and heavy. Quinn is disgusted by this.

"EEEEWWWW! Get a room, you two."

They stop making out.

Kevin said "Quinn! Sorry."

Brittany said "Come on, Kevy. Let's go to the girls locker room."

Kevin has a lecherous grin.

"Cool!"

They leave as Quinn shudders at the thought of what they plan to do.

* * *

 **The next day in class...**

The bell has just rung and everyone is filing out. As soon as the shallow squad walks by Quinn stops them.

"Alyssa, could you stay a moment? I need to have a quick talk with you."

Alyssa turned to her friends.

Traci said "We'll save your seat at lunch."

Mandy added "Just don't take too long."

The others leave. It's just Quinn and Alyssa now.

Alyssa said "Could you, like, make it fast. I don't wanna be late."

Quinn said "I saw you taking notes yesterday. Can I see them?"

Alyssa looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Um...uh...I don't have them with me!"

Quinn obviously doesn't believe her. Alyssa lets out a defeated sigh.

"Fine. Don't tell anyone."

She hands Quinn the notes. Quinn goes over them and is visibly impressed. She hands them back.

"Alyssa, these are really good."

Alyssa said "Just don't tell anyone. Please!"

Quinn said "You're afraid people will think you're a brain and hate you for it, aren't you?"

Alyssa is stunned.

"H-How did you know that?"

Quinn said "Because I had the exact same issue when I was your age. I was smart but so obsessed with being attractive and popular that I pretended to be a shallow airhead. I didn't want people to think I was a brainy geek so I kept my true intelligence a closely guarded secret."

Alyssa asked "What changed?"

Quinn said "I started to realize I wasn't going to go anywhere in life by being like that. In junior year I started to let more of the real me show. Senior year I dropped the shallow airhead act altogether."

"And you became unpopular?"

"Actually, no. It turned out that only one of my friends turned on me and she became unpopular. I stayed popular despite being a brain."

Alyssa gasps in disbelief.

"T-The friend who deserted you?"

Quinn said "She eventually came around and we became friends again. We're still friends today. Look, I just felt you needed to hear what I just told you. Think about it. Okay?"

Alyssa looks uncertain.

* * *

 **The cafeteria, a short time later...**

The shallow girls are eating salads when they are approached by Andrew.

Mandy said "What do you want, loser?"

Nervous, Andrew ignored her and talked to Alyssa.

"Um...Alyssa, you see...well...I was wondering if...you know..."

Alyssa said "Are you asking me out?"

Andrew nods in the affirmative. Alyssa sees the disapproving look on her friends faces.

She said "EEEWWWWWW! No way! I'd never go out with a geek like you."

All four girls laugh. Andrew walks away, humiliated. The other three are too busy laughing to notice the guilty expression on Alyssa's face.

* * *

 **The economics classroom, after school...**

Quinn is getting ready to leave when the door opens. She looks up. It's Alyssa, and she looks both sad and a little lost.

"Ms. Morgendorffer, I need your advice."

Quinn is pleasantly surprised.

* * *

 **Lawndale High, afternoon...**

 **Music:** "High School Never Ends" by Bowling For Soup

School has let out and Quinn is listening to Alyssa talk about her problem.

Alyssa said "...so when I asked him out I shot him down in the cruelest way I could just to save face and I feel really bad about it. I don't know what to do?"

Quinn listened patiently. Alyssa reminded her so much of herself.

 _It was really the same thing with us in the Fashion Club. We were so concerned with our popularity that we were cruel to people who really didn't deserve it. I wish I could go back in time and give my teenage self a hard kick in the ass. I also wish I could find some of the people I was mean to and apologize._

Alyssa said "Ms. Morgendorffer, are you even listening to me?"

Quinn said "Yes, I was just thinking about how I used to be like you and your friends. We were really bitchy and full of ourselves back then."

"That's why I figured I could talk to you. You will keep this a secret, won't you?"

Quinn smiled.

"I won't tell if you don't."

Alyssa is now visibly relieved.

Quinn said "Alyssa, how do you really feel about this guy?"

"I like him. He may not be rich or popular, but he's smart and still kind of cute."

Quinn said "I had a similar experience when I was sixteen. Over the summer I got a tutor because of my low PSAT score. I discovered I actually like learning. I also developed a huge crush on him."

Alyssa asked "What happened?"

"During our final session I asked him out. He said no and told me he only dates girls who have depth. It was my first tast of heartbreak."

Alyssa asked "What should I do?"

"Well, you like him and he obviously likes you. First, you need to apologize for being so mean. Then, I think you should ask him out."

Alyssa's jaw dropped.

"What!? I can't date a brain."

Quinn said "If you like him that shouldn't even matter."

Alyssa asked "But what about my status? What if all of my friends stop liking me because I date a brain?"

Quinn said "If they're really your friends they'll accept it. If they turn on you they were never your friends to begin with."

Quinn now looks regretful.

"I just wish I'd understood that sooner."

Alyssa thinks it over.

* * *

 **The girls locker room...**

Mandy is getting some things out of her locker when she hears a noise.

"EEEEEEEEEE!"

Seized by curiosity, she walks in the direction of the sound. She rounds the corner and gasps in shock. Kevin and Brittany are doing something I won't describe.

Kevin: "ugh...ugh...babe...so...hot..."

Brittany: "OH...Kevy...yes...Yes...YES...YEESSSS..."

Mandy is disgusted.

Mandy: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

* * *

 **Mr. DeMartino's office...**

Kevin and Brittany are getting their asses chewed.

Mr. DeMartion said "I assumed you were AWARE that copulating on school grounds is STRICTLY PROHIBITED!"

Brittany said "I'm sorry, Mr. DeMartino. We didn't know."

Kevin asked "What's the big deal, Mr. D? Me and Brit are married."

"You were spotted by a minor who REPORTED you to me."

Mr. DeMartino now grins.

"Although I should probably THANK you for your INDISCRETION. I now have a chance to RID myself of you, KEVIN."

Kevin doesn't get it.

"Like, what do you mean, Mr. D."

DeMartino continues to grin.

"YOU'RE FIRED! HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

"AW, MAN!"

* * *

 **Lawndale High, the next day...**

Mandy, Alyssa, Traci and Stephanie are walking to class. Mandy is telling them what happened.

"...it was, like, sooo gross."

Traci said "Ewww!"

Stephanie said "Sooo...grooooosssssssss."

At this point, Alyssa sees Andrew at his locker. He looks totally dejected.

She said "I forgot something. I'll see you guys in class."

The other girls seem to accept this and continue on their way. Alyssa walks up to Andrew. He notices her and is upset.

He snidely asked "What? You wanna make fun of me again?"

Alyssa said "No, I wanna apologize. I was a real bitch to you yesterday. I'm sorry."

Andrew said nothing.

Alyssa went on "I've also been thinking about you asking me out. I've changed my mind. I'd love to go out with you sometime."

Andrew is skeptical.

"Is this some kind of trick?"

Alyssa said "I deserve that. The truth is I like you, as in like like you. I just didn't want to admit it. I was afraid my friends would turn on me if I said yes when you asked me out. I wanted to say yes, I just didn't have the guts to do it."

Andrew asked "What changed your mind?"

Alyssa said "I felt so bad about shooting you down that I talked to...a friend about it. She told me that if I like you I should take a chance with you. My friends will just have to get used to it."

Andrew appears to think it over. He finally decides.

"Alyssa, would you like to see a movie with me this weekend?"

"I'd love to."

Andrew smiles.

* * *

 **Economics class...**

Quinn has just handed them back the test they took the day before. Mandy sees her grade.

"A D-."

Alyssa looks at her score. She got an A+. Mandy snatched her test.

"HEY!"

"Well, well. Alyssa got an A. Are you turning into a brain?"

Alyssa looks uncertain. Quinn gives her an encouraging look.

Alyssa said "So what if I am? Maybe I'm sick of being shallow and stuck up."

Mandy is visibly taken aback.

Alyssa said "I'm tired of you bossing all three of us around. I won't put up with it anymore. And for you information, I have a date with Andrew Farley this weekend."

Mandy said "So, a brain dating a brain. I guess you don't want to hang out with us anymore." she turns to the other two, "Right, girls."

Traci said "Actually, I'm siding with Alyssa. I'm sick of being bossed around, too."

Stephanie said "Meee...tooooo."

Mandy is totally taken aback. Quinn and Alyssa exchange proud smiles. Just then, Mr. DeMartino enters the classroom.

"Ms. Morgendorffer, I have good NEWS. This is your LAST day in PURGATORY. I've hired a permanent economics teacher."

With that, he leaves.

Alyssa said "Ms. Morgendorffer."

"Yes?"

"I just wanted to say that you were a great teacher."

"Thanks. Most of you are great students. You know who you are."

Alyssa thought _Thanks, Ms. Morgendorffer._

Quinn thought _I'm proud of you, Alyssa._

* * *

 **Pizza King, that evening...**

Quinn and Stacy are catching up. Even though it's a teen hang out the familiarity keeps the now grown Quinn and Stacy coming back.

Stacy said "So, you had students who were like us in our Fashion Club days."

Quinn said "I'm just glad I got through to one of them in the end. I wish I had the kind of advice I gave Alyssa."

"At least she's embracing herself now."

Quinn thinks of something else.

"Kevin's out of a job."

Stacy said "Again! What happened?"

Quinn said "He was caught having sex with Brittany in the girls locker room."

"Ewww! Though I can't say I'm surprised. Those two never were good at keeping it in their pants."

"Tell me about it."

 **End.**

 **Next Time**

Can it be? Is Jim actually cheating on Quinn!?


	11. Temptation

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme:** "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne

We see Quinn and Jim having a romantic dinner. Next, we see Quinn entertaining clients while Jake beams proudly. We then see Eric trying to boss Helen around, but Helen is having none of it. Cut to Stacy and Chuck holding hands while Sandi looks on enviously. Kevin and Brittany are making out in the girls locker room while Brittany is supposed to be coaching. Cut to Mr. DeMartino going totally beserk. Cut to Quinn having a girls night out with Stacy and Lindy. Montage ends with Quinn's smiling face in front of a pink background. Below that:

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Temptation"**

 **story by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **Pizza King, afternoon...**

Quinn, Stacy, Sandi and Tiffany are having a girls afternoon out. The current topic of conversation is their relationships.

Sandi said "So finally, Joey told the guy to go cry to his mother. He stopped pestering us after that."

Stacy said "Guess he was too dense to know that "I have a boyfriend" means "no"."

Quinn said "Tell me about it. One of my clients has a teenage son who actually e-mailed me a marriage proposal. I was like 'Even if I were single you're still too young'. Being attractive can be a curse sometimes."

Tiffany said "Yeeaahhh...aaa...currrssse."

Stacy said "Guys still hit on me all the time too. Sometimes they keep it up even after I show them my ring. Of course, they do back off when I threaten to file a complaint."

Quinn said "Some of the guys who come on to me are real hot too. If I were single I'd actually consider it."

Sandi asked "Why don't you?"

"Because I love Jim and would never do that to him."

Quinn suddenly has a thought.

"Would you do that to Joey?"

Sandi said "No. If I found a guy I was more interested in I'd at least have the decency to break up with Joey first."

* * *

 **MacKenzie Automotive, the following morning...**

Jim and Mack have been summoned into John MacKenzie's office.

John said "Boys, I wanted to see you because I've just hired another mechanic."

Jim said "You need us to show him the ropes?"

"Basically."

Mack said "You can count on us, Dad."

Just then, the door opens. The new hire is not a he but a she. She's a raven haired latina beauty with brown eyes, a perfect face and the body of a supermodel. Jim is visibly taken by her looks.

John said "I'd like you boys to meet Jessica Sanchez. Jessica, these are your new coworkers. My son, Mack."

Jessica and Mack shake hands.

"Pleased to meet you, Mack."

"Pleasure's all mine, Jessica."

John said "And this is Jim Carbone."

She now shakes Jim's hand.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Carbone."

Jim thought _Damn, she's beautiful._ as words escape him.

Jessica giggled.

She said "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"

Jim thought _And she has a carefree sense of humor. If only I was single._

Nervous, he said "Um...well...Call me Jim, Miss Sanchez."

Jessica said "Please, call me Jessica." as she thought _He's cute._

Jim said "Sorry I kinda spaced out just now."

"That's okay. I guess you didn't expect a woman."

Jim thought _Great, she thinks I'm sexist._

Jessica smiled reassuringly as she said "Don't worry, Jim. I'm sure we'll be great friends." _And maybe even more, handsome._

* * *

 **Later, in the garage...**

Jim is showing Jessica how to inspect a car.

"...so now that I've gone over everything twice it's time to make my final appraisal. There's nothing wrong with this car so once I've lowered it I can place the decal that states the car passes inspection."

Jim is about to lower the hydraulic press when Jessica notices something.

She said "Jim, I think you missed something."

Jim said "I doubt it. I was very thorough."

"Jim, trust me."

Jim decides to give her the benefit of the doubt. He walks over to Jessica as she shines a flashlight under the car.

Jessica said "I was right. Have a look."

Jim looks at the part of the engine that Jessica is shining the light on. He sees a small crack that has oil leaking out of it very slowly.

Jessica said "This car has a slow leak."

Jim said "You're right. I can't believe I missed that."

"Don't be too hard on yourself. It's so small even a seasoned professional could easily miss it."

Jim thought _Beautiful, smart and nice. She's the whole package. If I were single I'd ask her out in a heartbeat. In fact, she's even more attractive than..._

Jim immediately shakes his head.

 _Definitely didn't like where that train of thought was heading._

He said "Thanks, Jessica. I'm lucky to have you around."

 _I did not just say that._

Jessica said "Thanks, Jim. You're sweet."

Jim blushed. Jessica notices but says nothing.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, that evening...**

Quinn is telling Jim about her day.

"...so I told him that with sites like travelocity it would be best for his travel agency to go digital and he agreed. So, how was your day?"

Jim said "We have a new mechanic who started today. Her name's Jessica."

Quinn said "That sounds interesting. How'd she do on her first day?"

"She was great. When we inspected a car she noticed something that I completely overlooked. I was impressed, and a little embarrassed."

"I can imagine. What's she like?"

Jim said "You'd like her. She's beautiful, smart, funny and very nice. You two would get along well."

Quinn said "I see."

Jim fails to notice the note of jealousy in her voice.

"Jessica's incredible. I can't believe she's as good at the job as she is. We're definetly going to be good friends."

"Just friends?"

Now Jim notices the jealousy in Quinn's voice. He tries to reassure her.

"Don't worry, Quinn. I'm happy with you. I don't plan to trade up."

Quinn folds her arms and scowls.

"Trade up!?"

The harsh tone causes Jim to realize that he just put a lot of foot in his mouth.

He said "Sorry, that didn't come out right."

Quinn is now fuming. Jim gulps as he realizes that he may well have to sleep on the couch tonight. Storm walks up to Quinn and nudges her. Quinn pets the dog and reassures him.

"No, Storm, Mommy's not mad at you." _Just Jim._

* * *

 **MacKenzie automotive, the next day...**

 **Music:** "Hey Jealousy" by the Gin Blossoms

Jim is at the register ringing up a sale. The customer is a middle aged man with a beer gut.

Jim said "Here you go."

The customer takes his recept.

Jim said "Have a nice day."

The customer said "You too."

With that, he leaves. Quinn comes in.

Jim said "Quinn, what brings you here?"

Quinn said "I wanted to apologize for getting crazy jealous last night."

"Don't worry about it. At least you didn't make me sleep on the couch."

Quinn went on "So, have you taken your lunch break yet?"

Jim said "No. Why?"

Quinn said "There's this new Mexican restaurant I wanna try. I hear it's really good."

Jim said "Count me in."

At this point, Jessica comes in.

"Hey, Jim."

Jim blushes, which Quinn notices.

He said "Hey, Jess."

Jessica sees Quinn.

"Can I help you, ma'am?"

Quinn thought _Ma'am! I do NOT look that old!_

Jim said "Oh, she's not a customer."

Jessica looks curious.

Quinn, in a somewhat catty tone, said "I'm Quinn, Jim's girlfriend. His live in girlfriend."

Jessica said "Charmed. So, Jim, what were you guys just talking about?"

Jim is about to answer when Quinn interrupts.

"I wanted to take him to lunch at DeSanta's, that new Mexican place that just opened up."

Jim said "Do you know anything about it, Jess?"

Quinn is miffed that Jim's paying more attention to Jessica than her.

Jessica said "No, but being Mexican myself I might try it. See if it meets my high standards. Mind if I tag along?"

Quinn said "Nothing personal, but..."

Jim said "We'd love to have you along."

Quinn doesn't know who to be more pissed off at: Jim or Jessica.

* * *

 **DeSanta's Mexican Restaurant, a short time later...**

The restaurant has decor reminiscent of a cantina in a low budget western. At a booth Quinn and Jim are seated next to each other while Jessica sits across from Jim. Quinn does not look happy.

Jim said "So, Jess, what do you think?"

Jessica said "Not bad. You should come to my place sometime. I make a mean enchalada."

"I just might do that."

Quinn said "You mean WE just might do that."

Jim said "Of course." _Note to self: you already have a girlfriend._

Jessica asked "So, Jim, how did you become a mechanic?"

Jim said "I used to work at Grace, Sloan and Paige, but I quit. Mack was a friend of mine from college so he helped me get this job."

Jessica is a little surprised.

"You quit a high profile job to be a mechanic?"

Quinn said "No, he quit a high profile job to be with me."

Jim explained "I took a promotion that forced me to move to Japan. I only stayed a week because being away from Quinn hurt too much. That's how much I loved her."

 _I just used love in the past tense! Dammit!_

Quinn said "And you still love me, right?"

"Of course." _I love Quinn, but I have a crush on Jessica. I need help!_

Jessica said "That's so romantic. I wish I had a man like that."

Jim, sounding a little too friendly, said "You'll find him, I know it."

Under the table Quinn starts to rub her foot against Jim's leg to keep his attention.

Jessica said "I hope so." while thinking _I already have, but his girlfriend is right here with us. Still, I can tell he's interested. Maybe I can change his mind about Quinn._

Under the table Jessica starts to rub her foot against Jim's other leg. Jim now feels extremely awkward. He feels less awkward when Jessica smiles suggestively at him. Jim loses himself in Jessica's sexy smile and forgets all about Quinn.

He thought _God, Jessica's sexy. I can't help it, I want her._

Quinn sees the way Jessica is looking at Jim.

 _You...you SLUT!_

She fantasizes about clawing Jessica's face off.

* * *

 **Lindy's place, later that day...**

 **Music:** "Crazy Possessive" by Cat Battalgia

Over coffee, Quinn explains the situation to Lindy.

"...so now I don't know what to do. I can tell she wants Jim and he's definitely attracted to her."

Lindy said "Just because he's attracted to another woman doesn't mean he'll actually act on it. After all, Jim's not the only man you find attractive."

Quinn ponders this for a moment.

"True, but I'll never act on it. I love Jim too much to hurt him like that."

"So what makes you think he'd do it to you?"

Quinn said "Lindy, you didn't see the way they were looking at each other at lunch. He has a crush on her, I know it."

Lindy said "Jim doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who's a slave to his sexual urges. He loves you too much to betray you."

Quinn said "Has he ever really been put to the test? I'm afraid Jessica will turn up the heat to the point where Jim won't be able to resist, no matter how much he loves me."

Lindy said "I think you're underestimating him."

Quinn said "I hope so."

At this point Lindy gets an idea.

"How about a girls evening out."

Quinn asked "What do you mean?"

Lindy said "I mean you, me and Jessica. As a neuteral party I can feel Jessica out and determine whether or not you should be worried."

Quinn thinks about it for a second.

"Lindy, that's a great idea."

* * *

 **MacKenzie Automotive, Friday...**

Jessica has just finished working on a car and closes the hood. Mack comes in from the front shop.

"Jessica, you have a visitor."

"Be right there."

A short time later she's at the front shop. Her visitor is Quinn.

Quinn said "Jessica, I want to apologize if I gave off a jealous vibe the other day at lunch."

Jessica said "That's alright, Quinn. If Jim were my boyfriend and you were his new female coworker I'd feel a little threatened too. Don't worry, he's your man." _For now, won't be long until he's mine._

Quinn said "I also wanted to bury the hatchet by inviting you on a girls night out tonight. You, me and my friend Lindy. We could have dinner and then catch a movie. You interested." _You won't steal my guy, you whore._

Jessica said "Sounds fun." _First rule of war: know your enemy._

The two girls exchange insincere smiles.

* * *

 **Playhouse 99 movie theater, that evening...**

Quinn, Lindy and Jessica are in line for tickets.

Lindy said "So, Jessica, having fun so far?"

"Of course. Dinner was nice and I've been wanting to see _My Heart Beats for Two._ I'm a sucker for romantic drama. I mean, a movie about a guy trapped in a loveless marriage until another woman who really cares for him is totally my thing."

Quinn, in a catty tone, said "Really. Who would've thought?"

Jessica thinks _I deserve him more than you, you diva._

Quinn thinks _He's mine. Get your own guy._

Lindy can sense the tension and is visibly uncomfortable.

* * *

 **Two hours later...**

The three women have just exited the auditorium.

Quinn said "That was so sad how that movie ended."

Jessica said "I disagree."

Quinn said "It's sad because he left his wife for the other woman."

Jessica said "But they were wrong for each other. He was married to the wrong woman but left her to be with the right one. His wife didn't love him but the other woman did."

Menacingly, Quinn said "His wife was still hurt by it."

Jessica rolls her eyes.

She said "I have to use the restroom real quick."

Lindy sees her opportunity.

"Me too. I'll come with."

Quinn said "I'll see you guys by the car."

Once in the ladies restroom Lindy and Jessica get to talking.

Jessica asked "What do you think of her boyfriend?"

Lindy said "Jim's a great guy. He's smart, funny, kind and very loyal. He and Quinn really do love each other."

Jessica said "I only ask because I think he has a thing for me..." _and I have a thing for him,_ "...and I worry that it might cause problems."

Lindy said "He's devoted to Quinn. He'd never hurt her."

Jessica said "I know he wouldn't try anything. The thing is he's so wonderful. I look forward to seeing him at work every day. I sometimes think that Quinn might be wrong for him, though. Just a feeling I have. If it weren't for her I'd ask him out in a heartbeat."

"Any attraction he may have to you is purely physical and will probably fizzle out before too long."

Jessica said "Maybe, but sometimes you have to give a new love chance. I wouldn't be surprised if Jim leaves her and asks me out."

Lindy is now very worried.

* * *

 **Later that evening...**

Lindy has just dropped off Jessica at her place and is now driving Quinn home.

Quinn asked "What do you think of her, Lindy?"

Lindy looks very concerned.

"Quinn, do NOT leave Jim alone with that woman. She wants him and is determined to get him."

Quinn asked "You don't think Jim would actually cheat on me with her, do you."

"She'll pounce on him first chance she gets. I just hope Jim can resist the temptation."

Quinn said "Now you see why I'm so concerned."

Lindy said "And based on what I've heard from both you and Jessica he's falling for her despite himself. He might not be able to resist if she throws herself at him hard enough."

"You think she would."

"Quinn, I got the distinct impression that she's bound and determined to steal Jim away from you."

Now, Quinn's worried.

* * *

 **MacKenzie Automotive, Monday...**

 **Music:** "Tempted" by ?

Jim is in the lounge having lunch. He's also deep in thought.

 _I have a mini-crush on Jessica, but I've only known her a week. I've been with Quinn for almost two years and I can't imagine being without her. The problem is that everytime I see Jessica I seem to lose all common sense. Jessica's beautiful, smart and nice but so's Quinn._

Jim takes a swig of his soda.

 _Why can't I just be attracted to Quinn, and only Quinn? Why does this have to be so complicated? Jessica is damn near irresistable and I know she wants me. On the other hand Quinn is always there for me. I have everything I ever wanted in a relationship with her. I know she'd never hurt me. I can't say the same for Jessica, I don't know her well enough to make that call. She seems nice and we have a lot in common, but we don't know each other well enough for her to get me like Quinn does._

Jim's eyes go wide as he has an epiphany.

 _Of course! These feelings I'm having for Jessica mean nothing. I don't know her well enough to know if a relationship with her would work. This is just a physical attraction. I'm only interested in Jessica because of her obvious sex appeal. Quinn has sex appeal, too, but she's also someone who's always been there for me. I can't throw that away just because I get turned on by someone else._

Jim is satisfyed that he's gotten a handle on this. Just then, Jessica comes in.

"Hey, Jim." she said in a sultry tone.

"Hey, Jess."

Jessica sits down next to him.

She said "I need to ask a small favor."

"Okay."

Jessica said "My car wouldn't start this morning so I had to call a hauler to bring it here and use my employee discount. The problem is we won't have the new starter in until tomorrow. Could you give me a ride home?"

She gives Jim that seductive smile of hers. His newfound resolve crumbles.

"Please."

Jim said "Sure."

"Thanks, you're a life saver."

She kisses him on the cheek and leaves.

 _Aw, crap!_

* * *

 **That evening...**

Jim and Jessica arrive at her apartment complex. Jim parks his car.

Jessica said "Thanks, Jim."

"No problem."

Jessica asked "Would you like to come in?"

Jim said "Tempted, but Quinn's waiting for me at home."

Jessica said "You don't have to stay long. I just want to thank you by giving you a drink." _And getting you in my bed._

Jim thought _I really shouldn't._

Jessica notices the hesitation.

"Just a drink, Jim. I'm not gonna keep you away from your woman." _Because I'll be your woman tonight._

Jim looks doubtful.

* * *

 **A few minutes later...**

Jessica and Jim enter her apartment. It's a one bedroom with a kitchen/living room in the front.

Jim said "Nice place." while thinking _What am I doing here?_

Jessica said "Thanks. Make yourself at home while I change into something more comfortable."

"Alright."

As Jessica went into her bedroom Jim sat on the couch.

 _Just a thank you drink, that's all. If she tries anything I'm out of here._

Jessica emerges from her bedroom. She's wearing a form fitting dress with shoulder straps and a low V-neck that shows ample cleavage. The hem of the skirt is so high as to show a little too much leg. The ensemble is completed with high heel sandals.

Jim thought _Damn, she's sexy! I really want her now._ but said "What's with the dress?"

Jessica said "I like to dress this way after work, that's all." _And it's a lot less that you'll have to take off._

Jim said "Okay. I just hope you're not trying to seduce me. I mean, you're irresistible." _I can't believe I just said that._

Jessica said "Well, how do you like your whiskey?" while thinking _You want to spend the night with me, I can tell._

"On the rocks."

Jessica walks to the liqor cabinet. Jim can't help staring at her ass.

* * *

 **An hour later...**

Jim and Jessica are having light hearted conversation over the drinks.

Jessica laughed "You're kidding!"

Jim said "No, he really did think you could put out a fire with alcohol."

"So Kevin actually burned down his own house. How can anyone be so stupid?"

"Beats me."

Jim looks at his watch.

"I'd better get going."

Jessica said "You know, Jim, maybe you shouldn't drive. You had two whiskeys."

Jim said "But Quinn's waiting for me at home."

Jessica said "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

Jessica asked "Do you think I'm pretty?"

Without thinking, Jim said "You're beautiful, Jessica."

She leans in close and her voice takes on a sultry tone.

"Thanks. I like you. Alot."

Jim thought _Oh, man. This is not good!_

Jessica leans in some more.

"You can stay with me tonight."

She leans in even closer.

"You can even sleep in my bed."

Now, her voice is down to a sultry whisper as their faces are inches apart.

"I want you."

Jim thought _It would be so easy to give in. I want Jessica, bad. But is it worth hurting Quinn?_

Jessica whispers "Kiss me."

They are about to kiss when...

"No."

Jim pulls away from her.

Jessica said "Come on, Jim. You want me and I want you. Why fight it?"

Jim said "Because I have a girlfriend."

Jessica said "But we click so well together."

She lowers one of the shoulder straps on her dress.

"Come on, Jim. You know you want to."

Jim nervously said "Yeah, but we can't."

Jessica immediately pounces on top of Jim and kisses him passionately, moaning into his mouth as she does. Jim shoves her off and puts as much distance between them as possible.

"Dammit, Jessica! What part of no don't you understand?"

Jessica said "Jim, Quinn doesn't need to know."

Jim said "That's not the point. I love Quinn and I'm not cheating on her. I could give in to your advances and we wind up naked in your bed but I'd feel like shit afterwards. Even if Quinn never found out the guilt would still tear me up inside. And if she did find out she'd be devastated. Look, Jessica, I think you're hot and I'm definetly tempted to hook up with you, but that's just not gonna happen. I love Quinn too much to do that to her."

Jessica smiles seductively as she raises the hem of her short skirt high enough for Jim to see her underwear.

"Come on, Jim. You know you want this."

Jim leaves without another word. Jessica is now very disappointed. She folds her arms.

"So close! Dammit!"

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, a short time later...**

Quinn is waiting up for Jim when he comes in. He has a very serious look on his face.

She asked "Where were you?"

He sat down next to her on the couch.

"Jessica had car trouble so I gave her a ride home."

Quinn eyes Jim with great suspicion.

"Really?"

Jim said "She invited me up. Like an idiot I said yes. She said she just wanted to make me a drink as a thank you."

Quinn gasps.

Jim said "I didn't do anything. She tried to get me to sleep with her, but I didn't."

Quinn asked "Did you kiss her?"

"No, she kissed me, hard. I immediately pulled away and told her that I wasn't going to hook up with her. I left after that."

Quinn said "So, she made a move and you resisted?"

"Yes."

Quinn gets up and walks to the phone.

Jim asked "What are you doing?"

"Calling Jessica. I want her side of the story."

Quinn dials the number.

"Hello, Jessica, it's Quinn. Jim just told me he was at your place."

On her end of the line Jessica said "He was."

Quinn said "He says you tried to seduce him but he rejected your advances."

Jessica said "Unfortunately. I thought I could steal him from you but he's just too damn hung up on you for that to happen. You really are a lucky woman, Quinn. Even me pouncing on him in a slutty dress wasn't enough to make him stray. He shoved me right off when I did that."

Quinn puts her hand on the reciever and turns to Jim.

"She says she pounced on you and kissed you but you shoved her off."

Looking Quinn in the eye, Jim said "That's exactly what happened. I told her that I loved you and there was no way I was cheating on you."

Quinn can see that he's telling the truth. She gets back on the phone.

She said "Jessica, he just confirmed your story."

Jessica said "Don't worry, it won't happen again. If this didn't get him to choose me over you then nothing will. I'm backing off. I just hope you realize how lucky you are to have Jim. A guy that loyal doesn't come along very often."

Quinn said "I do, and you'd better back off because if you touch him again I'll mess you up so bad you'll need reconstructive surgery."

With that, Quinn hangs up. She turns to Jim. She sits next to him on the couch.

 **Music:** "I'll Stand by You" by The Pretenders

Quinn said "I'm sorry I doubted you, Jim."

Jim said "Quinn, I love you, and only you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. When I'm having a good day being with you makes it even better. When I'm having a bad day you make it feel like all my problems go away when I'm with you. I've never been as happy as I am with you. You get me like no one else does. You're my lover and my best friend all rolled into one. I'm not throwing all that away for a hot piece of tail. I love you so much that when you're hurt it hurts me and nothing makes me happier than seeing you happy. I had to choose between you and her. I made my choice: you."

Tears of joy fill Quinn's eyes.

"Oh, Jim!"

She throws her arms around him and they kiss.

 **End.**


	12. Daze of Thunder

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme:** "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne

We see Quinn and Jim having a romantic dinner. Next, we see Quinn entertaining clients while Jake beams proudly. We then see Eric trying to boss Helen around, but Helen is having none of it. Cut to Stacy and Chuck holding hands while Sandi looks on enviously. Kevin and Brittany are making out in the girls locker room while Brittany is supposed to be coaching. Cut to Mr. DeMartino going totally berserk. Cut to Quinn having a girls night out with Stacy and Lindy. Montage ends with Quinn's smiling face in front of a pink background. Below that:

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Daze of Thunder"**

 **written by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **Pizza King, evening...**

Quinn is having pizza with Sandi and Joey. It was supposed to be a double date but Jim had to work late.

Sandi asked "So, where's Jim? Did he actually blow you off for another girl?"

Remembering what happened the previous month Quinn said "Sandi, don't even joke about that."

"Sorry, habit."

They both smiled. While their old rivalry was a thing of the past they do sometimes slip into old patterns for the fun of it.

Joey said "Seriously, Quinn, where's Jim?"

Quinn said "He's been staying at the garage after hours for the past month. He says it's a surprise."

Genuinely concerned, Sandi said "You don't think he's sneaking off with that Jessica girl, do you?"

Quinn said "No, he wouldn't do that. In fact, she was so distraught over her failed attempt to seduce Jim that she quit a few days later. And before you say it I know he's not going to her place because I sometimes call the shop to ask when he'll be home and he's always there. I think he and Mack are working on something."

As if on cue, Quinn's cell phone rings. She answers.

"Hello...Jim!...we'll be right over."

She hangs up.

"That was Jim. He wants to show us what he's been working on."

* * *

 **MacKenzie Automotive, a short time later...**

 **Music:** "Shut Up and Drive" by Rihanna

The garage and shop are both closed for the evening. When Quinn, Sandi and Joey arrive Jim unlocks the door and lets them in.

Jim said "Thanks for coming."

Quinn said "So, what's this big secret you've been working on all month?"

Joey said "Yeah, you gonna tell us?"

Jim grinned.

"How about I show you instead?"

He leads them through a door marked "Employees Only". It leads to a large garage that's seperate from the rest of the facility. Inside are Mack, his father John and a few other guys.

Jim said "Hey, guys, they're here."

The other guys stop working. Quinn, Sandi and Joey all gasp upon seeing what they were working on. It's a black Chevrolet Impala. It's not a normal Impala, however. Instead of lights it has decals that look like lights. It's lower on the ground and has a more curvaceous body shap than a stock Impala. It has no doors and a net instead of a window on the drivers side. It also has massive side exhausts and the roof has an escape hatch over the driver's side. Amazed, Quinn walks up to the car and looks inside. There's only a driver's seat. The dash panel looks more like a control panel for an airplane than a car, complete with a two-way radio and the steering wheel is detachable. The interior is surrounded by a protective roll cage.

John said "Start her up, Jim."

Quinn steps aside as Jim approaches the car. He reaches inside and flicks the primary power switch. He next flicks on the secondary power switch followed by the fuel switch and, finally, the ignition switch. The car roars to life.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR. RUMBLE. RUMBLE.

Even in idle the engine is extremely loud. Sandi covers her ears while Joey and Quinn stare in open mouthed amazement. Mack unlatches the hood and rests it on the hood stand. Jim reaches in and moves the throttle.

VROOOOOMMM! VROOOOOOOMMMMMM! VRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

He then walks away and back to the driver side window. He shuts off the car.

Quinn said "So, you were building a race car."

Smiling proudly, Jim said "That's right."

Joey said "Whoa! That's really cool!"

John MacKenzie said "That's right. NRCA is hosting an amatuer event and we're gonna race this baby there. We have a car and we almost have a team."

Sandi asked "Who's driving?"

Mack said "I'm the crew chief, Jim's gonna drive, Shaggy here is our engine specialist, we also have a break specialist and two tire changers."

John said "We still need a jack man and a gas man."

Joey is practically salivating at this point.

"I'll be the jack man."

John said "Great. We also need a gas man. Any ideas?"

At this point, Quinn pulls Jim aside.

She asked "Are you guys crazy? That's not a car, it's a beast."

Jim said "Come on, Quinn. I've always wanted to race one of these."

"Jim, I've seen these kinds of races. Where are you guys racing?"

John said "Daytona."

Quinn remembers an incident there in 2001 that resulted in the death on a racing legend.

"But that's where...Jim, you're gonna kill yourself in this thing!"

Jim said "No, I'm not. There've been some major improvements in safety since then. Besides, this car isn't anywhere near as powerful as what the pros race in. This is just an amateur event for fun."

Quinn still has some misgivings.

"I still think this is a bad idea but I'll do the supportive girlfriend thing and go along."

* * *

 **Stacy and Chuck's house, the following afternoon...**

Quinn and Jim are telling Chuck and Stacy about the night before.

Quinn said "...so Jim's gonna race in an amateur event at Daytona."

Stacy said "That's so cool."

Chuck said "We actually know about this event. Feisty IT is sponsoring it and I'm actually serving as an announcer. We didn't know Jim was going to be in it, though."

Jim said "I wanted to keep it a secret and surprise everyone. That's why we didn't tell anyone until last night."

Quinn said "I'm going, but I'm still a little worried. Those cars will be doing 200 miles per hour. I'm worried that Jim could crash and get hurt."

Jim said "I'll be fine, Quinn. Still, it's nice how you're always looking out for me."

"Hey, that's what girlfriends do."

Jim said "I don't know for sure if we can be in it, though. We still don't have a gas man."

Quinn smiles mischeiviously.

"I have just the guy in mind."

* * *

 **MacKenzie automotive, the next day...**

Jim, Mack and John are in the area where the race car is baing kept, waiting for Quinn to show up with the gas man.

John said "Jim, do you know who this guy Quinn has in mind is?"

Jim said "No clue. I just hope he can do the job."

Mack said "He has to be able to carry a huge canister full of about 8 to 15 gallons of racing fuel, so strength in a must."

Jim said "Don't worry. Quinn assured me that he has a strong body. But she did warn me that he has a weak mind. She said he's perfect. A career aptitude test even said he was ideal for this kind of job."

Quinn comes in.

"Hi, guys. Ready to meet your new gas man."

John said "Of course. Who is he?"

Quinn called through the door behind her.

"Come on in."

She turns to face the other guys.

"I'd like you to meet your gas man."

The gas man enters. When they see him John laughs while Jim and Mack stare in open mouthed shock.

Kevin said "Jim, Mack Daddy, I'm the new gas jockey."

* * *

 **MacKenzie Automotive, day...**

 **Music:** "Animals" by Nickelback

Quinn has just introduced the makeshift racing team to it's newest member. The problem is that it's Kevin.

Mack said "Quinn, have you lost your mind!?"

John said "Yeah, I fired him last fall."

Jim added "He can't be trusted to handle fuel. This guy accidentally burned down his own house."

Kevin said "Are you, like, ever gonna let me forget that?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Dude, you burned down your own house."

Quinn decided to step in before things get ugly.

"GUYS!"

That gets everyones attention.

Channeling her inner Helen, Quinn said "I understand your misgivings, but all he has to do is keep the fuel cans full and put gas in the car. It's not rocket science. He just needs strength and good reflexes, which being the former Lawndale High quarterback we know he has. The gas will be in a canister, not out in the open, so the fire risk is minimal. Your equipment includes fully loaded fire extinguishers and Mack, as former team captain, knows how to properly motivate Kevin. He also needs some money because he's unemployed and has a wife and son. Said wife is also now pregnant with child number two so they could really use the extra money."

The guys all think about it and find no fault in her logic. They still have doubts. Quinn now pulls out her trump card.

"You guys wanna be in this race or not?"

Jim sighs, knowing the topics not open for debate when Quinn gets like this. Mack walks up to Kevin.

He said "Kevin, welcome to the team."

"Thanks, Mack Daddy."

"Don't call me that."

* * *

 **Daytona International Speedway, Daytona Beach, FL, a week later...**

Jim, Mack, John, Joey, Kevin and the rest of the team are in the garage area looking over the car, which now has a white number 3 painted on it. They are all in black fireproof suits. Quinn is with them.

Mack said "Okay, Jim, we've been doing practice runs every day since we got here. Do you know what line you're gonna run in qualifying?"

Jim said "Inside, less distance will shave off time."

Mack said "Exactly. Remember, warm up lap: outside line to build momentum, qualifying lap: inside line to reduce distance and time, cool down: on the apron so you won,t be in the next guy's way."

"Roger, skip."

Quinn notices that the front grill is completely tapped up.

"Why did you cover the grill with tape?"

Jim said "To keep the engine hot. It adds horsepower."

Quinn asked "But won't that overheat the engine?"

Mack said "Not for a few laps. It's common to tape up the grill in qualifying, but we take the tape off for the actual race."

Quinn is both impressed by their know how and surprised by her interest. She notices that Joey is sulking.

"Excuse me."

Quinn walked up to Joey.

"Hey, Joey."

Joey said "What's up, Quinn?"

Quinn said "I noticed you look a little down. Is something wrong?"

Joey said "Sandi's not coming."

"Joey, she has to work. I'm only here because I have a job that allows me to set my own hours. I know she has this weekend off so I'm sure she'll come down for the actual race."

Joey said "You don't understand, Quinn. She doesn't wanna come. She won't be here on race day. She told me it's not her thing."

Quinn senses that not all is well.

"Are you and Sandi having problems?"

"No."

Quinn doesn't believe him. She gives him the famous Helen stare. Truly her mothers daughter.

Joey said "Okay, we are. At first me and Sandi were totally into each other. After a few months, when the newness started to wear off, we started to argue about things. Mostly trivial stuff, but still. Lately, spending time with each other feels more like a chore than anything else. The only thing we seem to enjoy doing together now is sex, and even that's starting to get old. I'm afraid we're starting to drift apart."

Quinn said "Joey, you've only been together a few months. Maybe you've just hit a rough patch."

Joey said "I hope so, Quinn. I hope so."

Quinn reassured him.

"Don't worry. Whatever the problem is you two will work it out, I know it."

With that, Quinn starts to leave.

"Quinn."

She stops.

"Yes, Joey?"

"Thanks."

Quinn smiles.

* * *

 **A short time later...**

Jim's in the car waiting for the go ahead from his spotter. At the spotters stand John MacKenzie has a stopwatch while the spotter, a young man with binoculars and a headset, is watching the track. Quinn is with them and is amazed at the sheer vastness of the 2.5 mile oval racetrack with 35 degree banks in all four turns.

The spotter said "Go time, Jim."

Jim drives out onto the track. He rides high into turn one and stays high through turn two. Quinn stares in amazement.

The spotter said "Good. Keep holding your line."

Jim slingshots out of trun two at 80 miles per hour and rackets down the backstretch. He stays high through turns 3 and 4. Quinn gasps as he rockets out of turn 4 at 200 mph.

The spotter: "Okay, Jim, all clear."

As Jim approaches the line he moves to the inside line. As soon as he crosses it both John and the official start timing him. Jim rockets down the front stretch into turns one and two, never dropping below 200 mph. He powers down the backstretch and charges hard into turn three before carrying that momentum into turn four. He crosses the line and begins to slow down. John looks at his stop watch.

"Forty-eight point two seconds."

Quinn asked "Is that good?"

John answered "Jim's the fastest qualifyer so far."

Quinn smiles proudly.

* * *

 **Race day...**

Jim qualified tenth when it was all said and done. Now, they are all at the tenth pit stall. Mack is on top of the pit box while Quinn and Jim are by the car with the pit crew.

Quinn asked "Jim, are you scared."

Jim said "No, why?"

Quinn said "Well, I'm still a little worried. What if something goes wrong?"

Jim said "Relax, I'll be fine."

He suddenly has a thought.

"Something else is on your mind, isn't it?"

Quinn said "I'm a little worried about Sandi. Joey told me they were having problems."

Jim said "Yeah, he told me about that. She didn't want to come here and support him. They got into a huge fight about it."

Quinn said "I'm worried about them. Sandi's been hurt so many times over the last few years. What if Joey hurts her now?"

Jim said "There's nothing we can do. It's between them. You're really concerned about her, aren't you?"

"Duh, she's my friend."

Jim said "It's more than that. You act like you feel responsible for her."

Quinn said "That's because I feel responsible. She lost her family. Stacy and I are her only real family now. I feel the need to help ensure her well being because of that."

She gasps at the realization that she has a very strong maternal streak. Jim smiles.

He said "That's why I love you? The fact that you feel this way actually says a lot about you as a human being. You care about the welfare about your loved ones."

Quinn said "I used to shun my sister for being weird."

"But you stopped doing that and even tried to help her out of her shell. You left a dream job and took over your father's business when he needed you. You once helped Sandi lose weight and you make her feel accepted as she is. You're actually one of the most caring people I know."

Quinn says nothing but kisses Jim instead.

* * *

 **In the announcers booth...**

Chuck and Stacy are both miked up.

Chuck said "Welcome to the NRCA spring 400 at Daytona International Speedway. I'm Charles Ruttheimer the third, founder of Feisty IT and the lovely vision sitting next to me is my wife, Stacy."

Stacy said "I'm Stacy Ruttheimer, field reporter for WSBC in Lawndale, NJ. We'll be your commentators for today. And what a field we have here today."

Chuck said "You've got that right. It's gonna be...grrrrr, feisty."

Stacy giggles.

"Who's your pick to win this?"

Chuck said "I would have to say our poll sitter, number 25. Behind the wheel is 18 year old local boy Jason Keller. Jason hopes to break into NASCAR and he has the speed and skill to do it."

Stacy said "My pick is our hometown hero, Jim Carbone, driving the black number 3 Chevy in tribute to his favorate race car driver: the late, great "Intimidator", Dale Earnhardt."

At the grand stand outside the grand marshal takes the microphone.

"Drivers, start your engines."

Forty six-hundred horsepower beasts simultaneously come to life in a deafining roar. At Jim's pit stall the crew are all at their places while Mack sits atop the pit box. Quinn is there with him.

Quinn said "Damn, that's loud."

Mack said "Trust me, it's only gonna get louder."

The cars file out for the warm up laps. Quinn watches them pull away.

"Go get 'em, babe."

* * *

The race is about to start. The lights on the pace car have gone out. The pace car pulls off into pit road.

Stacy said "Here we go."

Chuck, in his Upchuck persona, said "It's about to get...mmmm, feisty."

The green flag waves.

VRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

All forty cars zoom into turn one. They come out of turn two and onto the backstretch still picking up speed. They head into turn three as a massive pack inches apart from one another. As they come out of turn four...

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

As they pass the pits running inches apart at over 200 mph Quinn is treated to the following sound...

VROM,VROM,VROM,VROM,

It's repeated forty times in two seconds. The cars kick up so much are that Quinn feels a strong gust that almost knocks her over. She looks at the monitors in front of her and Mack. Jim, meanwhile, is driving his car hard down the back stretch. The cars start to go three wide behind him. A third line has formed on the inside. Jim listens to the spotter as he enters turn three at 201 mph.

"Three wide, two inside."

Coming out of turn four:

"Two inside, still three wide."

Jim is greatful for the information. While he can see in front and look at the rearview mirrors he has no peripheral vision because the restraints make it impossible to turn his head. At the pit box Quinn looks at the monitor that's hooked up to Jim's helmit cam and gasps when she sees what Jim sees, a 200 mph traffic jam.

She said "I could never do that. I'd be terrified."

Suddenly, a car tries to pass going into turn three, causing a three car wreck in front of Jim. Quinn gasps and starts biting her nails.

Chuck annoumced "Wreck in turn three."

Jim sees the wreck in front of him. He's too close to slow down in time, so he speeds it up instead. Quinn is on pins and needles when she sees what's going on. Jim speeds right through the smoke and carnage at top speed, emerging from the other side without a scratch. Quinn breathes a huge sigh of relief as the caution flag waves. Mack speaks into a microphone.

"Jim, what do you wanna do when pit road opens?"

Jim said "I'm starting to lose grip. I need fresh tires."

Mack said "We'll do four tires and gas. You're running low."

Pit road opens and all the cars pit. Jim pulls into his pit box. Joey leaps over the wall and jacks up the car's right side. While Kevin pours fuel into the car the tire changers rapidly remove the old tires and put on new ones. The process is repeated on the driver's side. When Joey drops the jack the second time Jim knows that's his cue to get going. He fishtails out of there and leaves pit road in 15th. The whole process took twelve seconds.

* * *

 **Musical montage**

 **Music:** "Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins

Jim is running fifteenth in the pack. He rides the draft off of the car in front of him. When he's close enough he gives the other guy a gentle push down the back stretch and detaches in the turns. Both cars advance rapidly as a result, a tactic called bump drafting. Next, we see Jim catch up to the race leader. Quinn looks nervous as there have been two wrecks already. Jim and the race leader battle for first place. The leader blocks Jim and Jim responds by hitting his rear bumper, hard. Jim then side drafts the first car. When the leader tries to block Jim again Jim bumps him out of the way, a move called the chrome horn. The race leader checks up and Jim takes the lead. Quinn cheers when she sees this. Jim is now in the lead. He blocks every attempt by the other cars to pass him, making it look easy. When one car cuts Jim off Jim spins him out, bringing out another caution. Next, we see the race green again as Jim keeps his lead. Finally, Quinn is jumping and cheering as the laps wind down.

* * *

 **Later...**

At the pit box Mack speaks into the microphone.

"Ten to go, Jim."

Quinn smiles.

"He's actually going to win this, isn't he?"

Mack said "Don't break out the champagne yet, Quinn. At Daytona anything can happen."

In the announcers booth...

Chuck said "And Carbone just continues to dominate this race."

On the track...

Jim's lead is being challenged by another car. They're running neck and neck. Soon, they're down to the final lap. As Jim approaches the finish line the guy behind him takes the lead by spinning him out. Jim goes airborne and spins into several other cars. As the other guy wins Jim spins into several cars and the massive wreck just grows. Jim's car tumbles end over end and starts to come apart. The wheels fly off in one direction while the engine flys off in another. As Quinn sees this, she's horrified.

"JIM!"

Jim's car slides on it's roof and into the infield. Mack immediately speaks in to the microphone.

"Jim! Jim! Jim?"

Quinn said "Give me that!"

Seized by panic she takes the microphone.

"Jim. Jim! Speak to me Jim. Jim, talk to me. OH, GOD, JIM, PLEASE!"

All that comes over the radio is static. Quinn immediately leaps out of the pit box and runs towards the destroyed car. The rest of the crew follows her.

 _Please, Jim_ she thought, _Please don't be dead!_

Suddenly, the window net opens and Jim crawls out. Once he's clear of the wreckage he stands up and gives everyone a thumbs up. He's a little shakey but all right.

Chuck announced "And Carbone's all right!"

Stacy said "Thank God! The safety equipment did it's job."

Jim removes his helmit and neck restraints. He doesn't have a scratch on him. Quinn runs up to Jim and hugs him.

"Oh, Jim, I was so worried. I thought you were dead when you didn't respond on the radio."

Jim said "No, I'm not dead, but the radio was. I didn't respond because the radio was destroyed with the car."

Quinn hugs Jim even tighter.

She said "I was so scared. I really thought I'd lost you."

Jim holds Quinn tight.

"Don't worry, I'm fine."

They kiss.

* * *

 **Sandi's apartment, a few days later...**

Over tea Quinn tells Sandi about her wild weekend in Daytona.

"...I was so glad when Jim was alright. I was really worried."

Sandi said "It sounds frightening. So, the racing team's finished?"

Quinn said "I think so. They decided it wasn't worth it when they saw how much it would cost to rebuild the car. You would've liked it Sandi, the excitement is pretty infectious."

"I'm sorry I didn't go, but it's just not my thing."

Quinn has a thought.

She said "Sandi, Joey told me you guys were having problems."

Sandi gets snippy.

"That's really none of your business, Quinn."

Quinn said "Doesn't mean I'm not allowed to care. I worry about you."

Sandi softens her tone.

"I appreciate your concern, Quinn, but you're worried about nothing. We just had a disagreement, that's all."

Quinn said "Joey told me he felt like you and him were drifting apart."

Sandi said "He was upset because of the fight. We made up when he came back. You don't have to worry, we're fine."

Quinn said "Okay, I just wanted to be sure you were alright. I worry about you. You'd tell me if you were having problems, right?"

Sandi said "If we are having problems it's really none of your business. Why are you trying to butt in?"

"When I said me, Stacy and Tiffany would be your family from now on I meant it. I just don't want you to get hurt."

Sandi snapped.

"Drop it!"

Quinn looks uncomfortable.

 **End.**

 **Next Time**

Quinn's parents invite Jim's parents over for memorial day. Emma and Rita invite themselves. Morgendorffers, Carbones and Barksdales!? Yikes!


	13. Clash of the Families

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme:** "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne

We see Quinn and Jim having a romantic dinner. Next, we see Quinn entertaining clients while Jake beams proudly. We then see Eric trying to boss Helen around, but Helen is having none of it. Cut to Stacy and Chuck holding hands while Sandi looks on enviously. Kevin and Brittany are making out in the girls locker room while Brittany is supposed to be coaching. Cut to Mr. DeMartino going totally berserk. Cut to Quinn having a girls night out with Stacy and Lindy. Montage ends with Quinn's smiling face in front of a pink background. Below that:

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Clash of the Families"**

 **written by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **Morgendorffer House, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are having Sunday dinner with Jake and Helen. Jake is serving up...something.

Jake said "You guys are gonna love this! I call it Linguine a la Jake!"

The linguine and tomato sauce look fine but something about the smell is off. It causes everyone else to scrunch their noses.

"Eww!" said Quinn "What's that smell?"

Jake said "The secret ingredients to my tomato sauce."

Jim bravely said "I'll go first."

He puts a forkfull in his mouth. He immediately regrets it.

"GAK! ARGHKKK, CHOKE!"

He spews it into a napkin. After her trademark "EWWWW!" Quinn eyes her boyfriend with concern.

"Dad, what did you put in this? Rat poison?"

Beaming, Jake said "No, honey. Just crushed postachioes, crushed jalapenos, wasabi and tobasco sauce. It adds a nice kick. Oh, yeah, we were out of tomato paste so I had to use peanut butter and mayonaise."

"Dah-ad, I'm allergic to postachioes! You know that."

Sheepish, Jake said "Sorry."

Helen rolls her eyes before taking charge of the situation.

"Jake, throw that stuff out. Quinn, make sure Jim doesn't need medical attention. I'll put some lasgna in the microwave."

Jim recovers as Jake clears the table and Helen puts some instant lasagna in the microwave.

Helen said "By the way, Jim, I've been on the phone with your mother a lot lately. She's such a nice woman."

Jim said "That she is. I think it's great that you two have hit it off."

Helen added "She's so nice, in fact, that I invited both of your parents over for Memorial Day weekend."

Remembering the disaster at Thanksgiving Quinn and Jim both frown.

Quinn said "Mom, I don't know if that's a good idea. Yes, his mother's nice but Jim's father can be a little...well...difficult."

Jake overhears this.

"Oh, do I ever know what that's like. My mom always had to explain 'Oh, don't mind my husband, he's just difficult'. Difficult, hell, he was a psychotic, sadistic, uncaring bastard who always HAD TO TREAT ME LIKE CRAP AND MAKE ME FEEL UNLOVED. 'BUT, JAKE, REAL MEN DON'T NEED LOVE'. 'BE A MAN, JAKE, OR I'LL PUT YOUR ASS THROUGH THE WINDOW'. 'SUCK IT UP, YOU WORTHLESS, CANDY ASSED WASTE OF...'"

"JAKE!" Helen immediately barked, snapping him out of his rant.

"Sorry."

* * *

 **Lindy's house, day...**

Quinn is telling Lindy about the situation.

"...so now I get to look forward to my parents meeting Jim's parents and can't stop worrying about it."

Lindy said "Quinn, how bad could it be? At least your mother isn't a bitter drunk and your father's still in the picture."

Quinn feels bad. She knows what a sore spot Lindy's childhood is.

"Lindy, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Quinn. I just said that to point out that there are families way more dysfunctional than your's or Jim's."

Quinn said "I'm afraid that Mr. Carbone will either get in my mother's face or set my father off. He's like that. I told you about what happened when I went up there with Jim for Thanksgiving."

Lindy said "It's not like there's much you can do at this point. Just hope for the best."

"I guess. Maybe, because it's someone else's house, Mr. Carbone will actually behave himself."

Lindy said "You see, Quinn? It does no good to get worked up about what if's."

Quinn is relieved as she sees Lindy's point.

"I just hope there are no more surprises."

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are watching TV while Storm enjoys a squeak toy. Jim looks a little apprehensive, which Quinn notices.

She asked "Jim, what's wrong?"

Jim said "I'm nervous. Mom and Dad staying here has me a little on edge."

Quinn said "It was nice of you to ask them to stay with us for the weekend."

Jim said "I'm just worried. What if Dad gets like he did on Thanksgiving?"

"Relax, honey. He doesn't own the place. If your father acts up we can kick him out. He has to respect that this is our place after all."

"Doesn't mean he will."

Quinn looks worried. The doorbell rings, which causes Storm to bark. Quinn and Jim walk to the door. It's Gina Carbone, Jim's mother. His father is nowhere to be seen.

Gina said "Jim, Quinn how are you?"

Jim hugged his mother.

"Hi, Mom."

Quinn and Gina hug.

"Hi, Mrs. Carbone."

"Please, Quinn, call me Gina."

Quinn smiled.

"Well, come on in, Gina."

Gina enters as Quinn closes the door and Jim takes her luggage. Gina walks up to Storm and scratches him behind the ears, which he loves.

Jim asked "Where's Dad?"

Gina looks sad.

"He doesn't want to come."

Jim said "Probably for the best. Is he still mad at me?"

Gina said "No, he's over that. He'll be at the Morgendorffer's for Memorial Day, though. I insisted."

Quinn asked "Why doesn't he wanna come here?"

Gina doesn't know what to tell Quinn so she says nothing. Quinn immediately gets it.

"I see." she said in a hurt and angry tone.

Gina said "I don't know what to say. You're such a wonderful person. I wish my husband felt differently about you but he doesn't. I'm sorry."

Quinn asked "Why does he hate me so much?"

Gina explained "He wanted Jim to be a successful businessman, not a mechanic. I think he's disappointed in Jim's choices and he blames you. I'm truly sorry, Quinn. You're such a sweet girl and you make my son so happy. I just wish my husband wouldn't be so stubborn."

Quinn said "That's okay. I wish he liked me but if he doesn't there isn't anything I can do about it."

In truth, she's both hurt and relieved. She's hurt that the man who could well be her future father in law hates her guts and relieved that she won't have to deal with him.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, at the Morgendorffer house...**

 **Music:** "Gold Digger" by Kanye West

Jake and Helen are in the living room. While Jake watches TV Helen is going over some legal briefs. The doorbell rings.

Helen said "Jake, could you get that?"

From the TV comes the sound of a roaring crowd.

Jake shouts "GO, GO, GO, YES!"

Helen rolls her eyes and groans.

"HE MADE THE SHOT! YES!"

The doorbell rings again. This is followed by the sound of pounding on the door.

"JAKE!"

"GAH!"

He calms down.

"Helen, I didn't mean to dial a phone sex line, I swear!"

Helen said "Someone's at the door. Could you please answer."

She suddenly thinks of something.

"What do you mean a phone sex line?"

Nervous, Jake said "Er...Well...That is..."

The bell rings again and there's more pounding.

"Um...I'd better get that!"

He hurries to the door and opens it.

"EEP!"

He is bopped on the head with a cane while Rita says "It's about time!"

Helen called out "Jake, who is it?"

Jake gulps as it's Rita and Emma Barksdale.

Emma said "It really is quite rude of you to not answer the door right away."

Jake feels a sense of impending doom.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer house, evening...**

Jake and Helen's relaxing evening has just been interrupted by the arrival of her sister, Rita, and her mother, Emma.

"Mom, Rita this is a surprise!"

Emma, in a condescending tone, said "And why would a mother visiting her daughter be a surprise?"

Mother and daughter stare daggers at each other. Sensing the oncoming fight Jake starts to walk away.

Rita asked "Where are you going?"

Jake gulped.

"To make some martinis."

Helen said "Rita and mother don't drink martinis, Jake."

"I meant for me.." under his breath he added "...I'll need 'em."

As Jake disappears into the kitchen Helen, Rita and Emma sit down in the living room.

Helen asked "So, what brings you here on such short notice?"

Rita said "Erin called and told me that you invited Quinn's boyfriend's parents over for Memorial Day. I told mother and she insisted we come up so here we are."

Emma said "I am ever so eager to meet the family of her gentleman caller. I want to be sure that, unlike Erin, Quinn married well."

Helen corrected "Quinn and Jim aren't married, Mom."

Emma said "But Erin told us they live together now."

"They do."

Emma gives her daughter a disapproving look.

"Living in sin, I see. My opioion of that has not changed. I thought it was immoral when you and Jake did it and I think it's immoral now." Emma's voice now has a bitter sting to it. "Like mother, like daughter I see. Shameful."

Helen stares daggers at her mother. Jake comes back with a whole pitcher of martinis. He sees Emma and Helen stare each other down and immediately starts to drink.

Regaining her composure, Helen said "It still would have been nice if we had warning beforehand."

Rita said "Sorry, it really was a spur of the moment thing. It's not like I had other obligations."

Bitter, Helen said "Like a job."

This gets her a bop on the head from Emma's cane.

"Be nice to your sister, young lady."

Helen looks like she wants to punch her mother in the face.

* * *

 **On the street, morning...**

Quinn, Jim and Gina are in her car along with Storm. They are driving to Jake and Helen's.

Quinn asked "Does your husband know how to get here?"

Gina said "I gave him directions. He'll call me on my cell if he has trouble."

Quinn said "Okay." while thinking _Damn it!_

Jim said "So, Mom, how are things at home?"

Gina said "I've been getting calls from your brother lately."

"How's he doing?"

Gina said "He keeps asking me for relationship advice. Apparently he and Brooke have hit a rough patch."

Quinn thought _Better not introduce him to Wind Lane._

The car pulls into the Morgendorffer's driveway. Quinn sees Rita's white Cadallac and frowns.

"Barksdale alert."

Gina asked "What do you mean, Quinn?"

Quinn said "That Cadallac belongs to my aunt, Rita. She and Mom don't have the healthiest sibling relationship."

Jim said "I just hope your grandmother isn't here. If she is things could get ugly when Dad shows up."

* * *

 **Morgendorffer house, a short time later...**

 **Music:** "Light 'em Up" by Fall Out Boy

Everyone is making introductions. Gina and Helen shake hands.

Gina said "Helen, it's a pleasure to finally meet you in person."

Helen said "Oh, Gina, the pleasure's all mine."

Gina turns to Jake.

"And you must be Jake. Helen's told me all about you."

"Good things, I hope."

"No."

Gina's no is said in a tone that lets everyone know that she's joking. They share a quick laugh before shaking hands. Meanwhile, Rita is introducing herself to Jim.

"I'm Quinn's aunt, Rita. I don't believe we've met."

She and Jim politely shake hands.

"Pleasure to meet you, Miss?"

"Just call me Rita. With all of my failed marriages I've lost track of what my current last name is."

She and Jim share a laugh. Emma approaches Quinn. Without preamble she bops Quinn's head with her cane.

"OW! What was that for, Grandma?"

Emma said "For living with a man out of wedlock. I find your choice immoral."

Before it can escalate further Helen and Jake lead Gina over to them.

Helen said "Gina, I'd like you to meet my sister, Rita, and my mother, Emma Barksdale."

Rita said "Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Carbone."

Gina said "Please, call me Gina."

She and Rita shake hands. Gina turns her attention to Emma.

"Mrs. Barksdale."

They shake hands.

Emma said "Did you know that your son and my granddaughter are living in sin?"

Gina said "With all due respect, Mrs. Barksdale, I don't see it that way."

Emma said "Clearly you have not raised your boy properly."

Gina is immediately taken aback.

"Listen, how I raised my kids is frankly none of your damn business."

Emma is about to hit Gina with her cane when the doorbell rings.

"Saved by the bell." Jim muttered under his breath.

Jake said "I'll get it."

He opens the door. It's Tony Carbone. He introduces himself to Jake in a hostile tone of voice.

"Tony Carbone. You must be the wimp that spawned the red haired harlot."

Jake loses his shit.

"DON'T TALK THAT WAY ABOUT MY DAUGHTER!"

Helen barked "JAKE!"

He calms down and lets Tony in. Gina gets right in her husband's face.

"I heared what you said just now. Remember, you promised to behave yourself."

Tony said "I'm not gonna pretend I approve of their relationship when I don't."

Gina throws up her arms in frustration and lets out an exasperated sigh.

Emma said "Did you know that they're living in sin?"

Tony said "Yeah, I knew."

"And you approve as well!?"

"No. In fact, I disapprove of the whole relationship."

"Finally, someone with some sense of propriety."

Emma and Tony exchange smiles. Everyone else is now very worried.

* * *

 **The Morgendorffer's back yard, evening...**

Jake, Tony and Jim are grilling hot dogs and hamburgers.

Jake said "So, Tony, Jim tells me you used to be in the military."

Smiling, Tony said "Damn right. Served with the Rangers in 'Nam. You?"

"Only if military school counts."

Tony said "It's a great way to make a boy into a man. I wish I'd sent you, Jim. Or maybe you shoulda joined the Army instead of going to college."

Jim rolls his eyes.

"Dad, could we not?"

Tony gets right it Jim's face.

"You got a problem with serving this country, boy?"

Jim stays silent, knowing any answer he gives will just start a fight. Tony shakes his fist.

"Well? I asked you a question, mama's boy?"

Jim said "No, I don't have a problem with it and I'm proud of your service."

Tony said "You know that Iraq woulda make a real man out of you, just like Vietnam did for me."

This sets Jake off.

"Oh, I remember how badly my father wanted me to go to Vietnam. 'Real men fight, Jake.' 'You're not a man until you've been in a war, Jake.' 'Only commies are against the war, Jake'. 'I forbid you to MARRY THAT HIPPIE SLUT, JAKE'."

Tony gets in Jake's face.

"WHAT ARE YOU? YOU GOTTA BE EITHER A COMMUNIST OR A TOTAL CHICKEN. WHICH IS IT?"

As Jake and Tony shout over each other Jim groans. He sees the two pitchers of martinis that Jake made. He immediately grabs one and starts drinking.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, at the kitchen table...**

Quinn, Helen, Gina, Rita and Emma are seated at the table and making small talk despite the tension.

Gina said "...Tony's been so bitter since he left the Army."

Storm sniffs Emma's cane, which she doesn't like one bit.

"Get back, you beast."

She smacks Storm with her cane. Storm yelps and runs to Quinn, who is now pissed at Emma.

"HEY! Don't hit my dog!"

Emma shakes her cane at Quinn. Helen scowls.

"Mother, please respect the rules of this house."

Rita said "Leave Mom be, Helen."

Emma said "Thank you, dear."

At this point they hear from outside...

"JERK!"

"COWARD!"

"FACIST!"

"COMMIE!"

"PRYCHO!"

"MAMA'S BOY!"

"BASTARD!"

Tony punches Jake in the face. The angers both Helen and Gina.

"JAKE!"

"TONY!"

Helen and Gina immediately run out. Helen goes to Jake while Gina gets right in Tony's face. Jake has a black eye.

"Jake, are you all right?"

Jake gets up.

"I'LL KILL HIM!"

Firmly, Helen said "No, you won't!"

Jake immediately calms down.

Smirking, Tony said "Need your woman to come to your rescue. You wuss."

Gina gets in Tony's face.

"Dammit, Tony! You promised to behave yourself!"

"He started it."

Jake said "DID NOT!"

Gina firmly said "Tony, inside!"

Tony stares his wife down. Gina doesn't even flinch.

"NOW, TONY!"

Tony grunts.

"Fine, I get along better with Mrs. Barksdale anyway."

They go inside while Jim and Jake remain by the grill. Once they're gone Jake grabs the other pitcher of martinis and starts drinking.

Jim said "Sorry about that."

Jake said "Your father is just like my father was."

"He ever make you do pre-dawn PT drills to 'man you up' like mine did?" Jim asked bitterly as he took another huge gulp from his pitcher.

Jake said "DAMN RIGHT HE DID!"

They smile and clink their pitchers together. They have a lot to talk about.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, inside...**

Tony is now seated with the women at the table.

Tony said "What is it with this family? The man of the house acts like a woman and all of the women act like men."

Emma said "I often ask that myself."

Now, it's Helen who gets in Tony's face.

"I consider that a good thing, you chauvanistic oaf. Especially given your definition of manly. Not every woman lets her man walk all over her."

Offended by the implication, Gina gets in Helen's face.

"Just what are you getting at, Helen?"

At this point, Quinn decides to get out of Dodge. She looks at her watch.

"Oh, my! Look at the time. I'd better take Storm for a walk."

She puts Storm's leash on and makes a quick exit as Helen, Gina and Tony try to shout over each other.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer back yard, evening...**

There's now black smoke coming from the grill and the meat is all burnt and ruined. This is because instead of grilling like they're supposed to Jake and Jim are getting drunk and ranting.

Jake said "So I mentioned going to... _hic..._ tennis camp and next thing I know, BAM, seven years of hell in a... _hic..._ military academy!"

Jim slurred "I was never gonna be goo... _hic_...good enough f'r my old man. He calls me a... _burp_...waste of sperm and... _hic_...candyass to this day."

Jake said "I... _hic_...hears ya,... _burp_...pal."

While this is going on outside a fight is going on inside. Helen and Gina are in each others faces.

Helen said "Maybe if you didn't buy into old gender stereotypes your husband would have more respect."

Gina snapped "How dare you! I chose to be a stay at home mom. Don't take it out on me that you're a bad mother!"

"YOU DARE!"

Tony said "Don't you dare contradict my wife, you goddamn harpy."

Gina snapped "Stay out of this, Tony!"

Rita got right in Tony's face.

"Don't call my sister a harpy!"

Tony barked "Stay out of this!"

Emma gets right in Tony's face. She says nothing but smacks him with her cane.

"OW! WHAT THE F..."

Emma smacks him again.

"The first one was for the tone you took with my dear daughter, the second was for your language."

No one can understand what's being said now as they are all trying to talk over each other.

* * *

 **Somewhere in the neighborhood...**

 **Music:** "Electric Feel" by MGMT

Quinn is still taking Storm for a walk, enjoying the peace and quiet. They stop at a fire hydrant and Storm relieves himself on it.

Quinn thinks _Thank God I got out of there when I did. The tension was so thick I could smell it._

Storm finishes his business and they continue on their way. Quinn continues to think.

 _Mom, Dad, Aunt Rita, Grandma Emma and Jim's father under one roof is a bomb waiting to go off. First, Erin's wedding ends in a riot. Then, Mom and Aunt Rita constantly fighting the first time Erin tried to leave Brian. Then, that Christmas disaster my senior year. Erin's divorce, the last two Thanksgivings. Is it too much to ask if once, just once, I attend a family gathering that doesn't turn into a knock-down, drag-out fight?_

At this point, Quinn and Storm round the corner and head back toward her parents house.

 _It's been almost two hours. Maybe they've got it all out of their system by now. If I'm lucky, Tony and Grandma have killed each other._

Quinn has a bemused smile.

 _God, that thought was so Daria. I wonder when I'll get glasses and throw all of my fashion sense out the window._

As Quinn approaches her parents house she smells burnt beef and pork. She sees the black smoke coming from the backyard.

 _Dad screwed up again, no surprise there. But Jim never messes up at cooking. What gives?_

Quinn and Storm approach and when they're close enough she hears Jim shout "I NEVER, NOT ONCE, WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM! HE'S ALWAYS LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE TO TREAT ME LIKE CRAP!" follwed by Jake shouting "SEVEN YEARS, DAMMIT! THAT'S HOW LONG I WAS IN THAT FASCIST HELL HOLE! SEVEN GODDAMN YEARS! GAAAAHHHH! BURN IN HELL, OLD MAN!". Quinn rolls her eyes.

 _Great_ she thought, _Dad's going down memory road and it sounds like he took Jim with him. This better be the worst thing going on._

* * *

 **Inside the house...**

 **Music:** "Warrior" by Disturbed

Quinn enters the house and is greated by a chorus of angry voices shouting over each other.

 _I don't believe this. I came back to a war zone._

She goes to the kitchen. She can't understand what Tony, Rita and Emma are saying because they keep shouting over each other. Helen and Gina are giving each other the silent treatment. Quinn rolls her eyes.

 _I'm gonna have to patch things up, aren't I? Might as well get started._

She approaches Helen.

"Mom, what's going on?"

Irritated, Helen said "Your father and Jim are outside getting drunk while Jim's father is being an imbecile and Gina is being difficult."

Gina said "Excuse me! You called me weak!"

Helen said "I only insinuated that your husband is the way he is because you wait on him hand and foot."

Gina said "As opposed to neglecting my family like you do."

"Well, I never! How dare..."

"Knock it off!" Quinn barked, "You to are acting like a couple of little kids right now. You got along so well before someone, I don't care who, said the wrong thing in the heat of the moment. You two are acting like bratty little kids. Now make up and help me with everyone else."

Helen said "This is my house, young lady!"

Undeterred, Quinn said "And I seem to be the only one in it who's acting like an adult. Now make up, you two."

The stern tone and firm body language are so similar to Helen that no one fails to notice. Gina and Helen immediately soften at the realization that Quinn's right.

Gina said "She's right, Helen. I guess we were acting a little ridiculous. I shouldn't have gotten on you for giving my husband a talking to. He deserved it."

Helen said "That's okay, Gina. I think in the heat of the moment we both said things we shouldn't have."

Gina offers her hand.

"Friends?"

Helen shakes Gina's hand.

"Friends."

Quinn thought _One down, two to go._

She sticks her fingers in her mouth and whistles so loud that it gets everyones attention and the shouting stops.

Quinn said "Grandma, Aunt Rita my Mom would like to have a word with you two."

Stern, Gina said "And I'd like to have a talk with you, Tony."

Helen said "Mom, Rita if you're going to stay here I really must insist that you both behave yourselves. This is my house and you just invited yourselves over and proceed to cause trouble. It stops now."

Rita said "Or else what, Helen?" in a very defiant tone.

"Or else I exercise my right to kick you both out."

Shaking her cane, Emma said "You wouldn't dare."

In a menacing tone, Helen said "Try me."

It's apparent that Helen will not back down. Emma thumbs her nose at her daughter.

"Very well. Come on, Rita. We're going home."

With that, Rita and Emma leave.

Tony said "Good riddance."

Gina got right in Tony's face.

"You're in trouble, too. Dammit, Tony, you promised to behave yourself and instead you cause trouble before you've even walked through the door. You've insulted our hosts, embarrassed me and picked a fight with everyone. To say that I'm disappointed would be an understatement. You're going home right now."

Tony said "Fine, let's go."

Gina said "I'm staying and coming up tomorrow. I'll see you then, at which point we WILL continue this discussion."

"But...but..."

"No buts, Tony. MOVE IT!"

Tony knows he's crossed the line and really has no choice.

"FINE!"

With that, Tony stormed out of the house.

Quinn said "That was impressive, Gina."

Gina said "Even though it doesn't seem like it that's actually why Tony loves me. I'm the one person who can keep his ass in line. The men in his family have always been attracted to strong women. I think that's why Jim is so smitten with you. You actually remind me a lot of myself at your age."

Quinn smiled.

"Thanks."

Helen said "Quinn, let's go collect our men."

Gina said "I'll make some sandwiches."

* * *

 **Outside...**

Jim and Jake are both now on the verge of passing out.

Jake said "Y'know... _hic_...I thinnk we should...should... _burp_...

Jim slurred "I's goddn' qu... _hic_...quied."

"JACOB HENRY MORGENDORFFER!"

"GAH!"

"JAMES GIOVANNI CARBONE!"

"YIPE!"

Quinn and Helen are both there and they are very upset.

Quinn said "Dammit, Jim, you're drunk!"

"No... _urp_...I nod... _hic_..."

Helen said "Jake, you're so drunk you ruined dinner."

Jake said "B... _burp_...but...hel... _hic_...Helen..."

"No buts, mister."

Quinn said "I'm very disappointed in you, Jim. Getting hammered when you were supposed to grill. What were you thinking?"

"Aww...Quinnnnn...lig'n up _...hic_...yur preddy."

"And you're wasted. I'm taking you to my old room right now so you can sleep it off."

Helen said to Jake "And you're going to bed too. End of discussion."

Jake just frowns. Helen throws his arm over her shoulder and helps him inside. Quinn does the same with Jim.

Jim slurred "'R' we... _hic_...gon' has zex.."

Quinn just rolls her eyes.

* * *

 **The next morning...**

 **Music:** "I'll Be There For You" by Bon Jovi

Jim wakes up in Quinn's old room with a pounding headache.

"Oww! Did someone get the number of that freight train?"

Quinn, fully showered and dressed, stands over him.

"You okay, Jim?"

"I've got the worst hangover ever, so...no."

Quinn said "Serves you right."

Jim said "I'm sorry. I just couldn't deal."

Quinn softens her demeanor. She sits next to Jim and sympathetically puts an arm over his shoulder.

"That's okay, Jim. I forgive you."

"Quinn, I ruined a family gathering."

"You and everyone else involved."

Jim now looks sad, which Quinn notices.

"Jim, what's wrong?"

Jim said "Why do you stick with me?"

"Duh, I love you."

"Even though I come from such a messed up family?"

"Yes. I mean look at what my family's like. I have a thick skin about this stuff."

Jim said "I'm sorry my father hates you. I wish he'd come around."

Quinn explained "He seems like the type who wouldn't admit it if he did. At least your mother likes me. Even if your whole family despised me it wouldn't matter. I'm with you, not them."

Jim said "Quinn, don't get me wrong, but what about in the future. I still think it's too soon for us to tie the knot but, hypothetically, do you think you could handle having them as realtives if we ever were to take that step? I'm not proposing, just wondering."

Quinn said "Of course, Jim. If I ever decide to spend the rest of my life with you then I'm willing to take everything that comes with it, even in laws I can't stand."

Jim held Quinn close.

"Thanks, Quinn. I love you."

"I love you too, Jim."

They stay like that for a long time, unaware that they have an audience. Helen is looking at them with a huge smile on her face.

 _They really do love each other._ Helen thought as she wiped away a stray tear.

 **End.**

* * *

 **Authors Notes**

Well, that's it for season 3. Next time Quinn and co. take a vacation in Europe, a movie length fiasco called "Are We There, Yet?".


End file.
